Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, the following adjustments to ones vocabulary need to be made......
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" --- She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER", a WHINER or a "MOANER" --- She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" --- She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" --- She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" --- She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" --- She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" --- She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" --- She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you --- She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" --- She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" --- She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" --- She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" --- He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" --- He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" --- He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" --- He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" --- He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" --- He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" --- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" --- He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" --- He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" --- He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants --- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE".
And furthermore ......
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred
to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" --- She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER", a WHINER or a "MOANER" --- She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" --- She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" --- She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" --- She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" --- She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" --- She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" --- She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you --- She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" --- She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" --- She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" --- She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" --- He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" --- He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" --- He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" --- He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" --- He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" --- He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" --- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" --- He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" --- He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" --- He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants --- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE".
And furthermore ......
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred
to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
Very funny, Meems! 
