Provoking someone into tickling

[rhiannon]

Sometimes I read around here that there are people who provoke their friends/acquaintances until they tickle the person, or they grab someone to tickle them playfully.

Now, me being someone who considers tickling something sexual, I am thinking - wouldn't that be sexual assault?

 

[Dommelee]

Well, depending on who's doing the tickling and where you live; yes and no.

Where I live it's okay really as long as you're not in school. Society also doesn't SEE it as a sexual thing, so it wouldn't be considered sexual assault, but it WOULD be considered "inappropriate touching."

I live in a messed up area. Haha.

But I have a friend who lives in an area where any public (even playful) tickling is considered sexual assault. It all depends on where you live.

In addition... the who part is important. My best friend tickles me in public all the time... but we're both girls so they don't care. Now if my best guy friend did it, there's be consiquences. It's dumb.

 

[TicklesFemales]

Yes it depends on where you are from. Where I am from unwanted tickling by a stranger would be just an assault. Sexual assault where I live is any actual sexual penetration with ones tool so to speak and the anus or vagina of another that is unwanted and forced upon. That is sexual assault and a felony where I live.

TicklesFemales

 

[TheTickleMonster]

forgetting about the law's against tickling that are stupid 😛

it also depends on the person, if you're poking someone to try to get them to tickle you then you could get in trouble for sexual hurrasement or just hurrassment if they tell you to stop..

i definately wouldn't try to provoke someone into tickling you unless you're close to that person, not just some friend you talk to and see once in a while.. but a really close friend.. atleast out in public.. because if your alone with the person and he/she accuses you of sexual assualt you can just say they're lying, they can't prove you tickled them like they can prove rape 😛 lol

 

[rhiannon]

Wow guys, you are quick in answering, I like that! 😉

But now let's go away from the legal point of view and just look at ourselves!

I mean, even if it is not considered sexual harrassment because nobody knows what it triggers in us - what if people knew it is a turn-on to us?

Upon provoking someone to do what turns us on without the person knowing about it, wouldn't we be using that person for our kick?

(By the way, I totally abstain from doing it - for that reason! 🙂 )

 

[TheTickleMonster]

just come hang out with me, i'll tickle u, u won't even have to provoke me lol.. but i suppose it would be using someone for our "kick" i never thought of it that way lol..

 

[rhiannon]

Thinking about it that way has always made me hesitant towards making this fetish more public - as of now, most people haven't even heard about it. If that changed, maybe a lot of the innocence of tickling would be taken away.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

yeah, i like the innocense of tickling intact..

 

[rhiannon]

And there again, can it be innocent for someone who considers it sexual? 🙂 I know for me it's either sexual or I get aggressive, don't want it, feel like I am being harrassed.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

it can be innocent for me.. it just depends on who i'm tickling..

 

[rhiannon]

Then imagine the person found out that it can also be sexual for you. Do you think they would still tolerate being tickled, even if it was innocent?

 

[TheTickleMonster]

i'm not sure, i think it would depend on the person.. some people might have a problem with it, but others might understand that sometimes it can be innocent..

 

[LD_Tickler]

Well obviously if we're talking about strangers, touching them in any way is in the big cloud of "assault" and "harassment" and generally inappropriate.

But in the contexts of friends and acquaintances... I've definitely manufactured tickle fights with girls because I knew it would be sexy. I got a girlfriend that way once 😀

I think that you can really only measure harm in the actual damage being done or the discomfort of the person. If you start tickling a friend or acquaintance and they get into it, I don't see the harm. I don't think you can say it's wrong because you like it on a level they don't know of, because then you'd have to preface every interaction and every activity by making clear the extent to which you'll enjoy it.

Not to mention, tickling is pretty flirty anyway. So if you start tickling a friend or acquaintance who doesn't immediately smack you and tell you to fuck off, I don't think they'd be particularly shocked or horrified to find out it turned you on.

Then imagine the person found out that it can also be sexual for you. Do you think they would still tolerate being tickled, even if it was innocent?

I know some people who wouldn't tolerate it, and some people who definitely would.

 

[rhiannon]

But in the contexts of friends and acquaintances... I've definitely manufactured tickle fights with girls because I knew it would be sexy.

And you never feel it is...I don't know, using them in some way?

 

[lisa22]

And you never feel it is...I don't know, using them in some way?

i would say it's only using them if you really are using them. that sounds idiotic, but if you're in a situation where you're playfully trying to provoke someone into a tickle fight, it's likely you like that person (be it in a sexual way or not), and you are letting them know that. on the other hand, if person A is just trying to get person B to sexually stimulate them without person B being aware of it, sure there's something manipulative and dirty in that. but to avoid something you love just because you like it TOO much (people without tickle fetishes can engage in tickle fights), well that's not fair to you.

 

[rhiannon]

on the other hand, if person A is just trying to get person B to sexually stimulate them without person B being aware of it, sure there's something manipulative and dirty in that.

But where is the difference if you like the person or not?

I try to look at it from my point of view...if someone, whether he likes me or not, would get me into doing something to sexually stimulate him/her without me knowing, I would be furious!

 

[CuteJill143]

I don't like to provoke anybody. People like what they like and sadly some people just don't take kindly to tickling the way that we do.

Its easy to sneak in casually but sometimes it doesn't get very far.

Me personally, I never tickle anyone first.

I try to let them bring it up first.

True I do have my sneaky moves to get them to tickle me, but I don't provoke them in an aggressive manor. For example, sitting on the couch with a guy I try to stay in socks or barefoot depending on if the pedicures not messed up and I will cross me legs in a way where my foot might graze their leg.
Some try to tickle, some don't. Its like a little gamble.
Or sometimes if I am getting a back massage whether it tickles or not I might fake it a little bit. Like I said some people catch on some don't

 

[MeleeDuck_9]

Thinking about it that way has always made me hesitant towards making this fetish more public - as of now, most people haven't even heard about it. If that changed, maybe a lot of the innocence of tickling would be taken away.

Everything starts to suck when it becomes mainstream. Green Day,Family Guy,Skateboarding, you name it.

 

[rhiannon]

LOL...you know, I always thought the same way!! 🙂 I really hope I will never ever experience that I tell someone I am into tickling and the person says "Oh, you're one of THOSE guys!" 🙂

 

[TheTickleMonster]

i would say it's only using them if you really are using them. that sounds idiotic, but if you're in a situation where you're playfully trying to provoke someone into a tickle fight, it's likely you like that person (be it in a sexual way or not), and you are letting them know that. on the other hand, if person A is just trying to get person B to sexually stimulate them without person B being aware of it, sure there's something manipulative and dirty in that. but to avoid something you love just because you like it TOO much (people without tickle fetishes can engage in tickle fights), well that's not fair to you.

i agree.. well put..

 

[darkhand]

If that is sexual assault I insist on being victimized immediately.

No the long and the short of it is that the "assault" due to the nature of the subject is determined mainly by the intentions of the tickler, as are most things. There are people that don't have our fetish who are still going to be tickled by or tickle us.

That is just my personal opinion.

 

[LD_Tickler]

And you never feel it is...I don't know, using them in some way?

I mean, we "use" people in this way all the time. We don't out-and-out notify everyone around us of our state of mind. Ever struck up a conversation with somebody at a party or bar whom you found cute? It's the same deal - nobody is actually being harmed or is suffering in any way, but somebody might have an ulterior motive.

Or like, say somebody with a foot fetish offers their friend a foot massage. They get turned on, so what? As long as you don't slobber and drool and make anyone uncomfortable, I really don't see a problem.

I think it's especially not a problem for tickling, because like I said, in the case of tickling, it's pretty obviously flirty. If somebody goes along with a tickle fight, I don't think they're going to be upset at you for being turned on.

 

[rhiannon]

I think it's especially not a problem for tickling, because like I said, in the case of tickling, it's pretty obviously flirty. If somebody goes along with a tickle fight, I don't think they're going to be upset at you for being turned on.

I just don't believe it is that easy! Imagine a friend of you is gay and into tickling. He (or she in my case) starts a tickling fight to turn himself on (JUST for that reason, I emphasize that!). You do not realize it, think it is something innocent and go along! Would that be something you would be comfortable with?

Or, other question: would anyone around here feel comfortable with it if the tickled person was a child? If not (and I would think nobody here will feel comfortable with it!), why wouldn't you be comfortable? The child won't be harmed, right?

 

[LD_Tickler]

I just don't believe it is that easy! Imagine a friend of you is gay and into tickling. He (or she in my case) starts a tickling fight to turn himself on (JUST for that reason, I emphasize that!). You do not realize it, think it is something innocent and go along! Would that be something you would be comfortable with?

If I knew anyone was potentially into me (as in, a straight girl or a gay guy) and started tickling me, I wouldn't be so naive to not recognize the possibility of sexual undertones. I wouldn't be comfortable in a tickle fight with a guy, so I wouldn't go along with it at all. If a girl started a tickle fight with me and I later found it turned her on, I honestly say with total sincerity that I really wouldn't care. Again, tickling is a super commonly flirty thing. And what about everything else I said? The example of talking to somebody cute, or giving a foot massage?

Have you ever sucked up to a boss or somebody you needed? Flirted your way into something, or out of something? We use people all the time.

Or, other question: would anyone around here feel comfortable with it if the tickled person was a child? If not (and I would think nobody here will feel comfortable with it!), why wouldn't you be comfortable? The child won't be harmed, right?

This is a false analogy. When children come into the situation, notions of consent and reasonable expectations change. For the same reason, molesting somebody in their sleep isn't ok either, even though the victim will never know and is therefore not harmed.

An adult consents to go along with a tickle fight, armed with common sense.

 

[rhiannon]

An adult consents to go along with a tickle fight, armed with common sense.

Yeah, but would the person still go along with it if they knew it's a turn-on? I think a lot of people think it is something totally harmless among friends and would not expect sexual overtones. Therefore, they do not realize what they consent to!

If I flirt my way out of something, the person will realize immediately what I am doing!

Another example:
There are people with hair fetishes. It would piss me off really bad if I found out my hairstylist had one!