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puns

milagros317

Wielder of 500 Feathers
Joined
Jan 12, 2002
Messages
648,975
Points
113
I do not enjoy computer jokes . Not one bit .

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic . It's syncing now .

When chemists die, they barium .

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any
time .

How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it .

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me
.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
never met herbivore .

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down .


I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down .

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words .

They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

PMS jokes aren't funny, period .

Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz .

Energizer battery arrested . Charged with battery .

I didn't like my beard at first . Then it grew on me .

How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils ?

When you get a bladder infection , urine trouble .


What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds .

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . Then it hit me !

Broken pencils are pointless .

I tried to catch some fog . I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus
.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest .

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen
. Police have nothing to go on .

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes .

Velcro - what a rip off !


Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy .

Venison for dinner ? Oh deer !

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault .

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure .

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken
 
I've heard some say that puns are the lowest form of comedy, but dammit, puns are funny. I dont see my favorite:

"Rectum? Damn near killed him!" -- Ha, gets me every time!
 
I really like the barium joke. And here it was I thought all the good chemistry jokes Argon
 
Damn... I was so going to comment the anti-gravity one and you beat me to it :doh:
But i do have one more to add to your great list which i may or may not steal from...

A new broom has been invented... It's sweeping the nation...

😎
 
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