Question about Dating

[ninefive]

Quick question and I just wanted some input.

I eat a lot at restaurant that is located in a hotel and one of the servers here has served me quite a bit though conversation between me and her is minimal. I liked her so last week, I called up the hotel and asked to speak with her after being redirected to the restaurant. I said who I was and then asked if she wanted to get dinner. She said "me?" and then I said "yeah." Then she says "ummm sure" and tells me to wait for a minute and puts me on hold.

When she came back after putting me on hold after a 2 minute pause, she then said "I'm sorry but employees are not allowed to date patrons."

My question is whether you think this was a BS excuse or she would have said yes without that rule? Also, do you think its worth asking that if I don't go back to that restaurant again (thereby not being a patron), whether I would then be allowed to date her?

Thanks.

 

[Mitchell]

I've heard of rules like this.

I'm an insurance agent.

I worked in a major insurance company for a while.

The rules were.. the insurance agents were not allowed to date co workers, the people we were training to be agents, or our clients or perspective clients.

The whole idea of not "mixing business with pleasure".

I'm sorry to hear about the situation you had, but I've actually heard of/experienced situations like this.

 

[Wolf]

She's trying to say no without hurting your feelings. That's why she had to take a moment after "ummm, sure..."
If you offer to stop being a patron, she'll just have to find another excuse.

 

[magic fingers]

Quick question and I just wanted some input.

I eat a lot at restaurant that is located in a hotel and one of the servers here has served me quite a bit though conversation between me and her is minimal. I liked her so last week, I called up the hotel and asked to speak with her after being redirected to the restaurant. I said who I was and then asked if she wanted to get dinner. She said "me?" and then I said "yeah." Then she says "ummm sure" and tells me to wait for a minute and puts me on hold.

When she came back after putting me on hold after a 2 minute pause, she then said "I'm sorry but employees are not allowed to date patrons."

My question is whether you think this was a BS excuse or she would have said yes without that rule? Also, do you think its worth asking that if I don't go back to that restaurant again (thereby not being a patron), whether I would then be allowed to date her?

Thanks.

If the conversation was minimal, why did you ask her out? It doesn't sound like there was much of a connection in the first place. Based on what you've told us, I just don't think she's interested. Sorry.

 

[chicago]

I would say whether its true or not, pushing the subject may not reflect well on you.

 

[Sandisk444]

I'm going to have to go with it being a BS excuse because I don't think there's a "conflict of interest" between servers and customers at a restaurant. I know this isn't part of the thread but I would recommend not asking people out over the phone in general unless you have that as an established form of communication that you use a lot, even in those cases I would say to do it in person.

At this point I would leave it alone like Chicago said.

 

[milagros317]

If it is true that her employer, the restaurant, forbids dates between staff and customers, then you don't want to ask her again because it will jeopardize her job.

If it is false the her employer forbids such dates, then she used a bullshit excuse to refuse you politely, so you don't want to ask her again.

Either way, leave it alone and look elsewhere.

 

[Wolf]

Of course, you might have gotten a clearer idea of her response if you asked her in person, instead of calling her at work.

 

[ninefive]

She's trying to say no without hurting your feelings. That's why she had to take a moment after "ummm, sure..."
If you offer to stop being a patron, she'll just have to find another excuse.

Why not just say no to begin with?

 

[chicago]

Its not fun to possibly hurt someones feelings and you never know how people are going to take rejection these days...

https://youtu.be/ca02Tp2111U

 

[Wolf]

Why not just say no to begin with?

For the same reason that you called instead of asking her in person.
It felt safer.