Question for the dominant lers

[LD_Tickler]

This question might be hard to express, but I'll give it a shot. To the lers, like myself, who get off on the dominance/sadism aspect of tickling: is it about you being powerful or them being helpless?

I'll try to explain. Yes, power is relative so your power/their weakness is closely related. But would you say that one of those ideas more than the other turns your crank? For me, I don't think it's about being powerful... at least not as much. I sort of view it as enjoying my lee's vulnerability... it's more about her lowered status than it is about my elevated status, even though they happen concurrently.

How about you? Do you revel, specifically, in your own heightened status? Do you see a distinction at all?

I got to think about this because I was reading some old posts about subs describing why they like subbing... and all the explanations were very internal, it was very much about triggering an inward transformation that gives them pleasure. I was wondering if it was the same or different for most doms/tops/lers/whatever, since in my case, it's very external... her objectification, her humiliation, etc.

 

[marcusb]

For me, it's about making them repsond whether willed or not... their body betrays them and they have to respond via squirm or laugh or whatever. Brain cannot override the bodies basic response. One or two simple fingers and they are toast. How fun is that??

 

[b0xr]

I really never gave that much thought. We've been married for 28 years and tickling was part of our sex lives pretty early on in the form of foreplay. She agreed to be tied up for some extra spice and I started to tickle her lightly. She wasn't into being tickled so I always just played a little on the edge. As time has gone by I incorporated tickling into our sex lives more and more. Now we don't have sex without tickling, it doesn't happen. The funny thing is that Karen seems to be very aroused while being tickled. This started out as MY thing that she always went along with,and I never would have imagined that she would be into it as much as she has. We do alot more tickle sessions now than we have in the past years. She is feeling better about herself these days and that leads to more tickle sessions. We just had one about a week ago and *she's asking me when we can have another.* I have a link to our recent session that I'm not going to post on here. If you'd like to see it just drop me a PM and I'll send you the link to my myspace page. I didn't want to post the link because the clip isn't very good. I'm hoping for a better one next time. Neither one of us is Dominant outside the bedroom, but when the door closes I am in charge...just to answer your question.

 

[stockytickler]

I enjoy the wicked thrill of imposing my will on another person. But at the same time I really appreciate and care for that other person. So I guess for me it's the power I feel rather than the weakness they feel.

However, just reflecting reality, other people really seem to get off on the verbal aspect of it, the humiliation of another person -- and that part doesn't really do anything for me. Of course, some lees are into the humiliation/subservience thing, too, and if the ler wasn't actively taunting or teasing them they'd find the session less satisfying.

Other end of the spectrum there's gotta be lers out there who couldn't care less about the psychological components and just want a nice foot to tickle.

Best advice is to have a little conversation near the beginning of the tickle session itself, and find out what everyone's hoping to get out of it. Not graphs and charts, but once the giggling has started some, talk about limits, use some light taunting -- does it tickle here? here? Have you been a bad little princess? etc.

Listen for reactions, be guided by them and talk about the experience afterwards and you'll probably train each other to be the best ler for your lee and vice versa. 🙂

 

[stockytickler]

One or two simple fingers and they are toast. How fun is that??

marcusb, that is a huge amount of fun. 😀

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Interesting thread. Moar responses 😀

their body betrays them

LOL So true.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

It's never about power with me (at least when it comes to tickling, that is), it's their suffering that does it... sure, I love playful tickles and I still dig it when people enjoy the sensation of tickling, but I must confess I love it when the lee absolutely hates being tickled and is forced to endure it anyway.


When I think about it, it's either cuz there's a screw loose somewhere in my noggin or I watched way too much of Don Turtelli as a kid.

 

[TickleMyFancy]

For me, I seriously have an addiction to the power rush I get when I'm making my helpless lee squirm and laugh and beg. I love that I can make them beg for this thing I'm "torturing" them with to stop, but they meanwhile have to laugh.

So I guess it's a pretty even split for me 🙂 I like the power and watching the helpless lee 😛

 

[P[a]pi]

For me, my sessions are about control, my pics are about objectification, and both are about chicks looking attractive in bondage.

Love and feelings of ownership only come into play when I'm playing with my wife. Nobody else.

So, for me it's about the girl's lowered status, which is why I don't call myself a dom.

 

[Ardent Tickler]

With my tickle partner its about "breaking" her. Tickling her until she cant stand it but has to continue laughing because I wont stop. She likes being the submissive lee and challenges me to try and break her so its a win-win situation. 🙂

 

[c7_assassin]

It's far too fluid for me to draw lines between where my lee's humiliation ends and my dominance begins. I get off tremendously knowing (or at least imagining) that she's trying to resist what I'm doing to her; when she can't, I'm sure I'm enjoying both aspects simultaneously.

 

[powerslideX]

I think it is a combination of both aspects that speak to me/us on the most basic of levels. To enjoy being a ler you have to be sadistic in some way or another. You are imposing your will on the helpless. Now to get down to the fact of what gets a Ler, or at least me, off. I think it is the dynamic contradiction of all aspects involved. The lee smiles/laughs (representation of gratitude) but at the same time begs you to stop (a sign of dissatisfaction). The physicality of the act is extremely effected by the mental aspect involved. I would venture if you have this fetish 99% of us get sexual gratification through the act of tickling. This brings up the fact that you may be tickling and therefore severely effecting a lee whom under normal circumstances you would not be able to have sex with. Either by the fact that you are bound by moral rules (as in you or they are married to someone else) or the simple fact that the lee would not normally be attracted enough to you to have sex with you. By tickling them (which for me is damn near as good as and even at times better than sex) you are controlling there body in a way they can't resist and effecting them im a profound way. Almost the way an orgasm does... But here is the kicker...... Lets say you tickle some hot chick whom would never ever bang you. She has had plenty of sex and orgasms to the point that the occurrences run together, but if you tickle her in an extreme (sadistic or what have you) way, something magical happens.... She will remember you and that instance forever. And it will even over shadow sexual experiences. because maybe the best orgasm she has ever had was 1 minute of pleasure, but your tickle session with her made her more vulnerable than ever before. She was completely at your mercy and maybe you even moved her to tears. And interaction of that gravity folks, is a very beautiful thing. It is your dominance and power that brings out even the strongest willed lees helplessness. Both your power and there helplessness. I works hand in hand. One only exists in an equivalent degree to the other. At least thats what works for me....... but who am I, right?? 😈 your thoughts???

 

[powerslideX]

TickleMyFancy ~~~ i just have to say, i read your posts (and sigh), i look at your picture there (and sigh again...) and then I see you live in California.... DAMN IT!!!! Why do you have to live the whole way on the other side of the country!!!!????? =( I know you are a fellow ler but would extremely enjoy making you my lee..... just once.....! I promise, I wouldn't go too crazy on you..... 😈 maybe

 

[stockytickler]

I think it is a combination of both aspects that speak to me/us on the most basic of levels. To enjoy being a ler you have to be sadistic in some way or another. You are imposing your will an the helpless. Now to get down to the fact of what gets a Ler, or at least me, off. I think it is the dynamic contradiction of all aspects involved. The lee smiles/laughs (representation of gratitude) but at the same time begs you to stop (a sign of dissatisfaction). The physicality of the act is extremely effected by the mental aspect involved. I would venture if you have this fetish 99% of us get sexual gratification through the act of tickling. This brings up the fact that you may be tickling and therefore severely effecting a lee whom under normal circumstances you would not be able to have sex with. Either by the fact that you are bound by moral rules (as in you or they are married to someone else) or the simple fact that the lee would not normally be attracted enough to you to have sex with you. By tickling them (which for me is damn near as good as and even at times better than sex) you are controlling there body in a way they can't resist and effecting them im a profound way. Almost the way an orgasm does... But here is the kicker...... Lets say you tickle some hot chick whom would never ever bang you. She has had plenty of sex and orgasms to the point that the occurrences run together, but if you tickle her in an extreme (sadistic or what have you) way, something magical happens.... She will remember you and that instance forever. And it will even over shadow sexual experiences. because maybe the best orgasm she has ever had was 1 minute of pleasure, but your tickle session with her made her more vulnerable than ever before. She was completely at your mercy and maybe you even moved her to tears. And interaction of that gravity folks, is a very beautiful thing. It is your dominance and power that brings out even the strongest willed lees helplessness. Both your power and there helplessness. I works hand in hand. One only exists in an equivalent degree to the other. At least thats what works for me....... but who am I, right?? 😈 your thoughts???

*standing ovation

 

[powerslideX]

*standing ovation

Lol. Well thank you my friend! (Bows)

 

[TickleMyFancy]

TickleMyFancy ~~~ i just have to say, i read your posts (and sigh), i look at your picture there (and sigh again...) and then I see you live in California.... DAMN IT!!!! Why do you have to live the whole way on the other side of the country!!!!????? =( I know you are a fellow ler but would extremely enjoy making you my lee..... just once.....! I promise, I wouldn't go too crazy on you..... 😈 maybe

Lol your 'sighs' made me laugh.

and ahh yes. The age old problem of distance. It's fucked me over a few times now lol