Question for the Switches

[yinzer]

I'm fascinated by people who enjoy being both the ler and the lee. I've only ever seen myself as a ler, and couldn't imagine enjoying being the lee. Nothing about that appeals to me. I'm pretty sure it has to do with not liking that loss of control the lee has. So I'm curious to know how often people start out as lers and become lees vs how many start out as lees and become lers? It seems like it would be a much easier transition for the latter than the former, but maybe because I'm just biased that way haha. Also, I've known there were guys that like to be tickled since I've unfortunately come across this while searching for females online 😆. Still, I'm surprised since joining this forum it seems to be much more common than I would have thought, probably because of the typical male stereotypes and because I have this repulsion to it for whatever reason.

 

[frankied21]

I love being a switch, but I do lean 70/30 ler to lee. I absolutely adore a sexy ticklish woman who I can turn into mush and then massage her after, but I also do find that my own laughter and the release of tension while being tickled is also fun! To me, not as much fun as tickling someone else , but still fun. I do also find it to be soooo exciting to have the banter and thoughts of "Oh just you wait until I get revenge after you got your revenge" or the face of struggle as the girl I turned to mush is failing to do the same. There's so many aspects to being a switch that open doors for banter, chemistry or just pure fun.
Also, I can be pretty mean erotically by edging with tickling, so I do kinda deserve it 😅

 

[yinzer]

I love being a switch, but I do lean 70/30 ler to lee. I absolutely adore a sexy ticklish woman who I can turn into mush and then massage her after, but I also do find that my own laughter and the release of tension while being tickled is also fun! To me, not as much fun as tickling someone else , but still fun. I do also find it to be soooo exciting to have the banter and thoughts of "Oh just you wait until I get revenge after you got your revenge" or the face of struggle as the girl I turned to mush is failing to do the same. There's so many aspects to being a switch that open doors for banter, chemistry or just pure fun.
Also, I can be pretty mean erotically by edging with tickling, so I do kinda deserve it 😅

So did you start out as a switch or did you start out as a ler and then realized you enjoyed being tickled as well?

 

[torturoustickle]

I was a Ler only for a long, long time. Being naturally dominant and hyper ticklish, I had no interest in being tickled.
However, I consider my tickling fetish to be a journey, and as I branched out, experimented, and expanded my horizons, I discovered my switchy side.
There were a lot of ridiculous stereotypes around that suggested you couldn't be both. A true Ler couldn't switch, wouldn't be ruthless enough, and was some how 'lesser'.
Fortunately the tickling community isn't as archaic, anymore. More people are being their true selves, and are enjoying and embracing themselves and their fetish.
And for me, I'm still Ler leaning. I don't switch that often, but certainly embrace it. The holy grail is of course to find a similar partner in crime.
That search may continue for a while.

 

[WickedTouch]

I'm fascinated by people who enjoy being both the ler and the lee. I've only ever seen myself as a ler, and couldn't imagine enjoying being the lee. Nothing about that appeals to me. I'm pretty sure it has to do with not liking that loss of control the lee has. So I'm curious to know how often people start out as lers and become lees vs how many start out as lees and become lers? It seems like it would be a much easier transition for the latter than the former, but maybe because I'm just biased that way haha. Also, I've known there were guys that like to be tickled since I've unfortunately come across this while searching for females online 😆. Still, I'm surprised since joining this forum it seems to be much more common than I would have thought, probably because of the typical male stereotypes and because I have this repulsion to it for whatever reason.

I wrote about several aspects of being a switch that you may (or may not) find interesting. I'll link that below. Outside of that, I think males lean more ler and females more lee more often because of predisposed tendencies of each. Whether they accept the other side probably has to do with a combination of interest and sociocultural programming. You'd think it's easier for a lee to do the ler role than vice versa, but many seem to have strong reasons for not. It's been explained to me several times now by a few lees that being a ler comes with a lot of anxieties and emotions such as being afraid of hurting the other person, not feeling confident in their bondage or tickling skills, etc. Though, it still feels true that lees have an easier transition, I just wanted to highlight that it's probably not as easy as I would have once thought.

For simplicity, I usually say I started out as a ler, but that's not exactly true. When I was very young, a few extended family members would tickle me and I remember loving it. I remember eventually having this realization of, oh wow, I can do this to others too! But as I fell more and more into typical male roles and activities, it felt more and more unacceptable for me to enjoy or pursue being tickled. From that point on, I was primarily of a ler mind up until meeting my now wife. I think finding someone who just gets it, and with whom I can fully be myself, has helped bring out that lee side again. I agree with you–I think it's very difficult to be a lee if you hold tightly to control. It takes a lot for me to do it, but I love it when everything lines up.

Lastly, I just wanted to say I also have an aversion to tickling males. There's nothing wrong with doing it if you're into it, and nothing wrong with avoiding it if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Some take offense to me not liking it, but most understand. Anyway, don't harbor guilt for that. We're all different with a whole spectrum of preferences. But yes, there are a lot more males opening up to being lees than in times past. There's a lot more acceptance of broad diversity, so that has made a lot of room for people to feel comfortable exploring what they'd otherwise hesitate on. I've come to realize a lot of women love tickling the toughness out of guys. While fun, it's embarrassing as all hell lol.

That blog entry I mentioned:

A Switch's Lament

I'm a switch. There, I said it. Okay, not some big confession in the wider scope of my tickling kink and other interests, sure, but something that seasons my life with a pinch of bitterness mixed in with all the sweetness. Just to be clear, since everyone likes to have their nuances in defining...

• WickedTouch
• Mar 12, 2025
• 6 min read
• Reaction score: 4
• Category: Tickling
• Blog: Deviant Outpost
• feelings identity switch thoughts tickling

 

[Sunriseticklee]

As a ler-leaning switch who loves to tickle and loves being tickled.... I desperately wish there were more men open to playing the lee. 💕

Yes, tickling women is fun. Of course it is. Love y'all! But there is just something so incredibly special and powerful having a giggling, begging man under my control. Oooo! Especially if he happens to be bigger and stronger than I am!

Oh goodness!

Just! Come on out and get that tickling that you are secretly craving! Please!!!! 😩🥰🥵🥵🥵

 

[King of tickles]

As a ler-leaning switch who loves to tickle and loves being tickled.... I desperately wish there were more men open to playing the lee. 💕

Yes, tickling women is fun. Of course it is. Love y'all! But there is just something so incredibly special and powerful having a giggling, begging man under my control. Oooo! Especially if he happens to be bigger and stronger than I am!

Oh goodness!

Just! Come on out and get that tickling that you are secretly craving! Please!!!! 😩🥰🥵🥵🥵

Idk about stronger, but I’d love to switch it up with you

 

[yinzer]

As a ler-leaning switch who loves to tickle and loves being tickled.... I desperately wish there were more men open to playing the lee. 💕

Yes, tickling women is fun. Of course it is. Love y'all! But there is just something so incredibly special and powerful having a giggling, begging man under my control. Oooo! Especially if he happens to be bigger and stronger than I am!

Oh goodness!

Just! Come on out and get that tickling that you are secretly craving! Please!!!! 😩🥰🥵🥵🥵

I can't imagine how hard it must be finding decent men to play that role, but I wish you the best of luck!

 

[Doriansenigma]

I’m a switch but I have a really difficult time allowing myself to be submissive, it’s a matter of feeling humiliation and fear. I don’t want to beg or be verbally taunted, the very idea of being at someone’s “mercy” makes me not aroused. The thought of someone wanting to break me down in such a way and tell me things designed to make me feel weak is what bothers me most. What has helped me is that my wife and I have taken the whole idea of tickling and turned it into something devoid of humiliation or power dynamics. Theres just a simple mutual respect and we know each other well enough not to take it to an uncomfortable level for either of us.

 

[yinzer]

I’m a switch but I have a really difficult time allowing myself to be submissive, it’s a matter of feeling humiliation and fear. I don’t want to beg or be verbally taunted, the very idea of being at someone’s “mercy” makes me not aroused. The thought of someone wanting to break me down in such a way and tell me things designed to make me feel weak is what bothers me most. What has helped me is that my wife and I have taken the whole idea of tickling and turned it into something devoid of humiliation or power dynamics. Theres just a simple mutual respect and we know each other well enough not to take it to an uncomfortable level for either of us.

That's great you have someone you can be intimate with that way and share a relationship that is mutually respectful where you can both enjoy exploring this together.

 

[torturoustickle]

As a ler-leaning switch who loves to tickle and loves being tickled.... I desperately wish there were more men open to playing the lee. 💕

Yes, tickling women is fun. Of course it is. Love y'all! But there is just something so incredibly special and powerful having a giggling, begging man under my control. Oooo! Especially if he happens to be bigger and stronger than I am!

Oh goodness!

Just! Come on out and get that tickling that you are secretly craving! Please!!!! 😩🥰🥵🥵🥵

I'm honestly surprised more men aren't taking advantage. Women Lers, especially those willing to Switch, are rolled gold. 😍
I must live in the wrong part of the word. 😭

 

[torturoustickle]

I was primarily of a ler mind up until meeting my now wife. I think finding someone who just gets it, and with whom I can fully be myself, has helped bring out that lee side again. I agree with you–I think it's very difficult to be a lee if you hold tightly to control. It takes a lot for me to do it, but I love it when everything lines up.

Finding that one person, that "partner in crime" can help a huge amount.
Exploring things together, for mutual benefit, can remove a lot of mental road blocks.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I’m a switch but I have a really difficult time allowing myself to be submissive, it’s a matter of feeling humiliation and fear. I don’t want to beg or be verbally taunted, the very idea of being at someone’s “mercy” makes me not aroused. The thought of someone wanting to break me down in such a way and tell me things designed to make me feel weak is what bothers me most. What has helped me is that my wife and I have taken the whole idea of tickling and turned it into something devoid of humiliation or power dynamics. Theres just a simple mutual respect and we know each other well enough not to take it to an uncomfortable level for either of us.

I get it! 🙂

That's where careful communication and negotiations come in. Every session does not have to be a power play. Every session doesn't have to be about breaking someone or making someone feel humiliated. Essentially, great ticklers should definitely allow the ticklee to express their goals/ desires for the session. It is my own personal desire to make the person I am tickling feel comfortable. And... Ultimately, their pleasure is my pleasure.

Sessions are flexible. Every ticklee is not the same. We should not approach each session the same way like a formula.

The connect you have with your wife sounds beautiful! 💕

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I'm honestly surprised more men aren't taking advantage. Women Lers, especially those willing to Switch, are rolled gold. 😍
I must live in the wrong part of the world. 😭

Sigh... I AM in a tickle desert of sorts.

Any play that I engage in usually takes place with partners or events in a different region/ state. The curious thing about it is that every event is different. Sometimes I am only approached as a ticklee. Sometimes I'm approached only as a tickler. I've only been to one event where I can 100% be myself in every sense (not just tickling). And it's my favorite event.

And my favorite male lees/switches are there. YAY!!!!! 😆

Still.... Once a year isn't nearly enough.

 

[frankied21]

So did you start out as a switch or did you start out as a ler and then realized you enjoyed being tickled as well?

I always knew I liked both sides. I grew up playing group games like duck duck tickle with groups that included my crushs. I always thought it was fun to let loose and laugh it out, but loved showing childish affection in a way that was both playful/fun and also allowed me to feel a certain power that I didn't know would become addicting

 

[A/S/H]

As a ler-leaning switch who loves to tickle and loves being tickled.... I desperately wish there were more men open to playing the lee. 💕

Yes, tickling women is fun. Of course it is. Love y'all! But there is just something so incredibly special and powerful having a giggling, begging man under my control. Oooo! Especially if he happens to be bigger and stronger than I am!

Oh goodness!

Just! Come on out and get that tickling that you are secretly craving! Please!!!! 😩🥰🥵🥵🥵

I promise you if it were that simple I would 😭 I see this so many times on this site, apparently it's super common for guys to not want to be the lee and I just don't understand?? Why can't I ever be around for these situations??? Argh lol, sometimes being a tall man feels like a disadvantage in this aspect. Since finding out tickling within adulthood is actually quite common, I feel eeryone's way too afraid in real life to even ask if I'm ticklish lmao they only ever wanna ask women.

If I'm being honest though I'd probably get really shy about it if the situation arose lol, I'm hopeful that I could hypothetically power through it

 

[MindOverWhatMatters]

As a ler-leaning switch who loves to tickle and loves being tickled.... I desperately wish there were more men open to playing the lee. 💕

Yes, tickling women is fun. Of course it is. Love y'all! But there is just something so incredibly special and powerful having a giggling, begging man under my control. Oooo! Especially if he happens to be bigger and stronger than I am!

Oh goodness!

Just! Come on out and get that tickling that you are secretly craving! Please!!!! 😩🥰🥵🥵🥵

I’ve come to realize that I very much enjoy being a lee. There’s nothing like having someone focus on tickling you completely, and I love the dynamic of my wife being smaller than me, but completely reactive to her touch.

 

[natscott6282]

tbh i have always been wayyy too ticklish to BE tickled
and i also find it extremely hard to imagine anyone into tickling could of started off in life as a Lee or even a switch

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I promise you if it were that simple I would 😭 I see this so many times on this site, apparently it's super common for guys to not want to be the lee and I just don't understand?? Why can't I ever be around for these situations??? Argh lol, sometimes being a tall man feels like a disadvantage in this aspect. Since finding out tickling within adulthood is actually quite common, I feel eeryone's way too afraid in real life to even ask if I'm ticklish lmao they only ever wanna ask women.

If I'm being honest though I'd probably get really shy about it if the situation arose lol, I'm hopeful that I could hypothetically power through it

Sir! I'mma ALWAYS ask! I will always ask if a man is comfortable with being a lee or switching. And I mean, always. 😁

Please don't let your height/size stop you! The fact that you are tall and ticklish is a major advantage because there is just more of you to tickle. I definitely use my height as an advantage. Love stretching out and tickling my lee's feet and armpits at the same time!!! 😝😂

Sigh! Y'all got me all weak in the knees right now. 🥴

 

[A/S/H]

tbh i have always been wayyy too ticklish to BE tickled
and i also find it extremely hard to imagine anyone into tickling could of started off in life as a Lee or even a switch

Well here I am lol, was born a Lee. Always loved it, even as a kid. Only had one instance where I thought I'd die lol but thankfully the person wasn't abusive stopped when I looked scared. But even after that I still loved it. I must be a masochist of sorts I don't know lol, but we exist

 

[A/S/H]

Sir! I'mma ALWAYS ask! I will always ask if a man is comfortable with being a lee or switching. And I mean, always. 😁

Please don't let your height/size stop you! The fact that you are tall and ticklish is a major advantage because there is just more of you to tickle. I definitely use my height as an advantage. Love stretching out and tickling my lee's feet and armpits at the same time!!! 😝😂

Sigh! Y'all got me all weak in the knees right now. 🥴

I can't help but be very aware of how I look, I don't wanna scare people I wanna get to know 😭 I'm probably not THAT scary looking but man do I get looks when I wear the wrong hoodie lmao. Despite my shyness I am getting bolder in life lately though, and would honestly be going to meet-ups and stuff if I could. Can't quite say how I'd react at first to being there tho 😳