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Rating Your Hangover

Strelnikov

4th Level Red Feather
Joined
May 7, 2001
Messages
1,812
Points
0
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your makeup on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare "depth bomb" thrown in. The sole purpose of this "depth bomb" seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good right about now....


Strelnikov
 
Numbers 1-4 I've done.

5, I hope I never reach.

Cheers.😀
 
I don't drink enough to get a hangover. I sniff the cork and pass out! 😛

Ann
 
Looking at this list reminds me why I don't drink alcohol. 😛
 
If I am goin by this list... I was a solid 3 goin on 4 on fri night( mix of Guiness, Smirnoff Ice and Canadian) ..,had the nice throbbin, "get the h**l away from me" buzzin headache on Sat night.

I HAVE reached 5 and man oh man.. it's a dark and scary place.. AND a pissed off one.. , esp when you redecorate your friend's basement( while his parents are away) by pukin all over it. Lol

Good post!
Maggie
 
The last time we drank hard I had 3 kinds of wine, and half a bottle of vodka, then a bottle of arbor mist, lol.
Had a headache...kinda...level 0 hangover 😉
 
Why does level 1 sound like me everyday? Is there something in the water they're not telling me about?
 
Ever read "By the Dawn's Ugly Light?" And the hair-hurting thing, yes.

Rxx
 
What I don't understand is why someone would do that to themselves! lol 🙄 😕 🙄

Ann
 
Well, I was down in Mexico one time with some friends and had a little too much, as I had a hang-over that lasted about 3 days.

The one time, I was in Australia (Cairns) and partied a little too hard and was sick as a dog....that would not have been so bad under normal conditions, but we had a 6 hour flight to Sydney that day, too. Being hung-over and flying **do not** mix

That was about 3 yrs ago, and I made damn sure that was my **last** hang-over. Even though that hang-over lasted only one day, compared to my 3-day hang-over in Mexico, the fact I was 15,000 feet in the air, made it a hell of a lot worse.
 
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