NoddingButler
Registered User
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2003
- Messages
- 9
- Points
- 0
READER, I TICKLED HER
by Boz Meadows
O, the joy of turning the tables after so many years of slavish servitude!
I rubbed my hands together excitedly as I descended from the stool to inspect the genius of my creation. The summer moon, pregnant with full lunar majesty, shined her light like a spotlight upon the glorious rope loops that hung from the rafters of the ceiling. Swirls of dust spun around the swaying bonds like the spiraling whiteness of a snow globe. It was all so terrific to behold.
"O, sweet madam," I whispered in the gloom of the night, "what wonders we shall see when I place your wrists in these."
I then threw a drape over the rafters to mask my creation, and even with my heart pounding the anticipation I retired for the evening. I was to wait the next day until I could serve my mistress exactly what she deserved.
It was the late summer of 1874 in the English countryside of Essex, and I was the "humble" butler to one Lady Victoria deLangley. She had a husband, but he certainly did not rule her as one might expect in those days. Lord deLangley was quite reserved and usually kept his nose to the newspaper. Lady Victoria deLangley, on the other hand, was quite tempestuous in her orders and demands, and the English royalty she carried about her was enough to put the most overweening of queens to shame. The very fact that her name was Victoria was almost too ironic.
Though my mistress was of a completely different appearance than the queen. Lady Victoria deLangley stood fairly tall with golden hair almost always rolled up into a fashionable bun. Her delicate neck and fingers were long and her whole shape was slim, save for her bosom, which seemed to almost suggest to its peekers that it could leap out at any moment. And I, your "humble" butler, would have certainly loved to see that.
Indeed, I was very displeased with my lot in life. Although being butler was considered the lord of all servants, I felt Lady Victoria cast as much importance upon me as she would upon a swine's excrement. Come to think of it, she regarded her own husband in a similar light. Yes, dear reader, Lady Victoria cared only for her own queenly desires, and she adored putting me in charge of her chief service.
For five long years I had dusted this, swept that, polished these, shopped for those, etc. etc. all for a salary that would make a beggar cackle in my face. I at first accepted this, for I had been told even as a young boy that my path in life was to please those who desired, and to not expect anything in return.
But who was this woman to order me so? Who was she, in her expensive dresses and fluttering eyelashes and airy way of bossing me about? As the years had gone by, I began to thirst to know what it could be like to dethrone a tyrant such as she. What would happen if all the power she assumed she possessed was suddenly stripped from her?
For the last six months now my mind has been swirling with the insatiable curiosity of how she would react if I were to rebel. Then, one night, in a dream, I heard a long drawl of helpless laughter coming from a dark room. I had awoken in a furious sweat and my body suggested so much to me. I was so aroused by this laughter my dream had let me hear, I had suddenly become possessed it seemed. My fingers twitched and I began to wonder what would happen if I was to...dare I say it...tickle my mistress. O, it seemed almost too silly. Mere child's play. Most frustrated men would have wanted to pentrate a woman like Lady Victoria in sexual revenge, but my idea of revenge, though still sexual, lay in a realm that to this day only readers like you and I can know.
This was all day-dreaming at first. I would stare out the window of the manor as I would polish the silver and see Lady Victoria bathe in the celestial showers of the country sunlight. What did she look like under all of those flowery clothes? How would she look with her arms raised high, high above her head? Or even barefoot? What did her feet look like? What did her underarms feel like? What did her belly taste like?
I hungered to know...as Shakespeare put it, "I burn, I pine, I perish..." and indeed, dear reader, I did just that, for six whole months. When suddenly, one day, my burning and pining and perishing suddenly found an opportunity to be sated: Lord deLangley left for a month-long business trip in India! The whole manor would be to just me and Lady Victoria....O, the most pleasant gift I could imagine!
"You will, of course, take good care of her, won't you Meadows?" Lord deLangley asked in his puffy manner.
"Yes, indeed, m'lord," I nodded slowly, with shivers of ecstasy swirling under my skin, "I shall. . ."
And so Lord deLangley left on that same evening I stayed up late to concoct my trappings in the grand study of the manor. I would fulfill my greatest fantasy the next day.
It was a hot summers day and the sun was beginning to set. An amber glow spilled in through the greenness of the land and Lady Victoria had come home from her picnic. As soon as she had paid her driver poorly, he departed, annoyed at her, and I smiled to myself.
"Fear not, my good man," I hummed silently, "all of our injustices shall be relieved this day!"
Not unexpectantly, Lady Victoria's first words upon entering the manor were, "Good heavens, Meadows, what an utter sty this manor is!"
I forced a humble smile and gave a low bow.
"Forgive me, m'lady," I replied, "but there was just no time to attend to the living room. I was polishing the silverwear all day."
She rolled her eyes in that way that drove me mad each time, "Well, really, what do I pay you for anyway?"
She was incorrigible. She was so set on her social throne. O, to cut away the legs of her seat and to make her fall...!
But I had to stay patient...first get her upstairs into the study, and then the fun could begin.
"But I HAVE, on the other hand, made quite a delight out of the study, m'lady," I beamed, "would you care to come up and inspect the beauty of your library?"
"O, please, Meadows!" she waved her long fingers at me dismissingly, "I'm sick to death of all those books."
The truth was, dear reader, she had not even read a single one of them. Even I, with all of my countless duties, had read at least half of them. But that was not important now.
"Oh, but m'lady," I nodded my head curtly, "I wish to please your eyes at the majesty of the newer and cleaner study. It will surely tickle your fancy!"
Good Lord, did I just say THAT? I carefully studied Lady Victoria's face to see if that word did anything to her. She seemed to pause slightly as she removed her bonnet, but she quickly shook her head and crossed to the sofa to sit down.
"Oh not now, Meadows," she sighed in her bourgois boredness, "I am terribly fatigued from enjoying the good weather today. Do make some tea and cucumber sandwiches."
My heart began to pound angrily. I did not have the courage to just drag her up there myself. I wanted to lure her. I wanted to weave her into my web. I wanted HER to follow ME.
"But m'lady," I then said on a whim, "in the study I have the tea and cucumber sandwiches all prepared and waiting for you. And there is a little surprise I have to...show you."
She still seemed bored and reluctant to follow, but the word *surprise* seemed to grab her attention.
"What kind of surprise?" she said brightly, as excited as a child almost, though she was near 30.
"Ohh...just something that I'm sure will delight you and just, just tickle you!"
Are you out of your mind?!!! my brain shouted at me. She'll know exactly what you're playing at, you fool!
However, dear reader, I saw her rising, luckily perhaps ignoring my last words and she proceeded to come to where I stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"All right, Meadows," she rolled her eyes, "Show me this little surprise of yours, but do then deliver the tea and cucumber sandwiches down here. The late afternoon sunlight is O so lovely."
Though I, a frustrated poet at times, couldn't agree more, there was nothing more lovely in my mind than to get her helpless this very moment. I had to stay patient just a little longer.
"Come this way, m'lady."
we started to ascend the steps and my heart beat like the drums of island natives. Ohhh...soon. Sooon...sooooon.
"Meadows!" Lady Victoria suddenly said, "Look at this stair banister. It's horrid. There's dust all along it."
I paused in my steps and could not believe how tyrannical she could be.
"I'll see to it very shortly, m'lady. Come, up the stairs we go."
She seemed to shrug it off fairly well and we then neared the study door. My fingers began to twitch with excitement as I reached to turn the knob...
"Meadows!" she exclaimed again, "I see a crumb on the carpet! This house is an utter atrocity!"
Ooooh, m'lady...just you wait until I take you apart! my mind seethed at this moment. The way she lolled her words at me in that O so high and mighty proper accent she probably believed was the speech of God. The way she walked, all tall with the mark of hubris, the way she gestured as if sterility were her banner. I'll bet she never even took a shit in her life, dear reader, and if she did, she probably believed her excretions to smell like roses.
I turned the knob to the study and my face twitched in anticipation...this was it!
"After you, m'lady," I bowed low, extending my arm to the room. She raised her proper nose to the air and proceeded into the room. I then pulled out the promise of this whole affair, that being the key to the study, and turned it into the lock, cealing my bond to the room which now swallowed us both up as if it would not let us go until I delivered what my flesh and soul screamed to do.
...Tickle her...
by Boz Meadows
O, the joy of turning the tables after so many years of slavish servitude!
I rubbed my hands together excitedly as I descended from the stool to inspect the genius of my creation. The summer moon, pregnant with full lunar majesty, shined her light like a spotlight upon the glorious rope loops that hung from the rafters of the ceiling. Swirls of dust spun around the swaying bonds like the spiraling whiteness of a snow globe. It was all so terrific to behold.
"O, sweet madam," I whispered in the gloom of the night, "what wonders we shall see when I place your wrists in these."
I then threw a drape over the rafters to mask my creation, and even with my heart pounding the anticipation I retired for the evening. I was to wait the next day until I could serve my mistress exactly what she deserved.
It was the late summer of 1874 in the English countryside of Essex, and I was the "humble" butler to one Lady Victoria deLangley. She had a husband, but he certainly did not rule her as one might expect in those days. Lord deLangley was quite reserved and usually kept his nose to the newspaper. Lady Victoria deLangley, on the other hand, was quite tempestuous in her orders and demands, and the English royalty she carried about her was enough to put the most overweening of queens to shame. The very fact that her name was Victoria was almost too ironic.
Though my mistress was of a completely different appearance than the queen. Lady Victoria deLangley stood fairly tall with golden hair almost always rolled up into a fashionable bun. Her delicate neck and fingers were long and her whole shape was slim, save for her bosom, which seemed to almost suggest to its peekers that it could leap out at any moment. And I, your "humble" butler, would have certainly loved to see that.
Indeed, I was very displeased with my lot in life. Although being butler was considered the lord of all servants, I felt Lady Victoria cast as much importance upon me as she would upon a swine's excrement. Come to think of it, she regarded her own husband in a similar light. Yes, dear reader, Lady Victoria cared only for her own queenly desires, and she adored putting me in charge of her chief service.
For five long years I had dusted this, swept that, polished these, shopped for those, etc. etc. all for a salary that would make a beggar cackle in my face. I at first accepted this, for I had been told even as a young boy that my path in life was to please those who desired, and to not expect anything in return.
But who was this woman to order me so? Who was she, in her expensive dresses and fluttering eyelashes and airy way of bossing me about? As the years had gone by, I began to thirst to know what it could be like to dethrone a tyrant such as she. What would happen if all the power she assumed she possessed was suddenly stripped from her?
For the last six months now my mind has been swirling with the insatiable curiosity of how she would react if I were to rebel. Then, one night, in a dream, I heard a long drawl of helpless laughter coming from a dark room. I had awoken in a furious sweat and my body suggested so much to me. I was so aroused by this laughter my dream had let me hear, I had suddenly become possessed it seemed. My fingers twitched and I began to wonder what would happen if I was to...dare I say it...tickle my mistress. O, it seemed almost too silly. Mere child's play. Most frustrated men would have wanted to pentrate a woman like Lady Victoria in sexual revenge, but my idea of revenge, though still sexual, lay in a realm that to this day only readers like you and I can know.
This was all day-dreaming at first. I would stare out the window of the manor as I would polish the silver and see Lady Victoria bathe in the celestial showers of the country sunlight. What did she look like under all of those flowery clothes? How would she look with her arms raised high, high above her head? Or even barefoot? What did her feet look like? What did her underarms feel like? What did her belly taste like?
I hungered to know...as Shakespeare put it, "I burn, I pine, I perish..." and indeed, dear reader, I did just that, for six whole months. When suddenly, one day, my burning and pining and perishing suddenly found an opportunity to be sated: Lord deLangley left for a month-long business trip in India! The whole manor would be to just me and Lady Victoria....O, the most pleasant gift I could imagine!
"You will, of course, take good care of her, won't you Meadows?" Lord deLangley asked in his puffy manner.
"Yes, indeed, m'lord," I nodded slowly, with shivers of ecstasy swirling under my skin, "I shall. . ."
And so Lord deLangley left on that same evening I stayed up late to concoct my trappings in the grand study of the manor. I would fulfill my greatest fantasy the next day.
It was a hot summers day and the sun was beginning to set. An amber glow spilled in through the greenness of the land and Lady Victoria had come home from her picnic. As soon as she had paid her driver poorly, he departed, annoyed at her, and I smiled to myself.
"Fear not, my good man," I hummed silently, "all of our injustices shall be relieved this day!"
Not unexpectantly, Lady Victoria's first words upon entering the manor were, "Good heavens, Meadows, what an utter sty this manor is!"
I forced a humble smile and gave a low bow.
"Forgive me, m'lady," I replied, "but there was just no time to attend to the living room. I was polishing the silverwear all day."
She rolled her eyes in that way that drove me mad each time, "Well, really, what do I pay you for anyway?"
She was incorrigible. She was so set on her social throne. O, to cut away the legs of her seat and to make her fall...!
But I had to stay patient...first get her upstairs into the study, and then the fun could begin.
"But I HAVE, on the other hand, made quite a delight out of the study, m'lady," I beamed, "would you care to come up and inspect the beauty of your library?"
"O, please, Meadows!" she waved her long fingers at me dismissingly, "I'm sick to death of all those books."
The truth was, dear reader, she had not even read a single one of them. Even I, with all of my countless duties, had read at least half of them. But that was not important now.
"Oh, but m'lady," I nodded my head curtly, "I wish to please your eyes at the majesty of the newer and cleaner study. It will surely tickle your fancy!"
Good Lord, did I just say THAT? I carefully studied Lady Victoria's face to see if that word did anything to her. She seemed to pause slightly as she removed her bonnet, but she quickly shook her head and crossed to the sofa to sit down.
"Oh not now, Meadows," she sighed in her bourgois boredness, "I am terribly fatigued from enjoying the good weather today. Do make some tea and cucumber sandwiches."
My heart began to pound angrily. I did not have the courage to just drag her up there myself. I wanted to lure her. I wanted to weave her into my web. I wanted HER to follow ME.
"But m'lady," I then said on a whim, "in the study I have the tea and cucumber sandwiches all prepared and waiting for you. And there is a little surprise I have to...show you."
She still seemed bored and reluctant to follow, but the word *surprise* seemed to grab her attention.
"What kind of surprise?" she said brightly, as excited as a child almost, though she was near 30.
"Ohh...just something that I'm sure will delight you and just, just tickle you!"
Are you out of your mind?!!! my brain shouted at me. She'll know exactly what you're playing at, you fool!
However, dear reader, I saw her rising, luckily perhaps ignoring my last words and she proceeded to come to where I stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"All right, Meadows," she rolled her eyes, "Show me this little surprise of yours, but do then deliver the tea and cucumber sandwiches down here. The late afternoon sunlight is O so lovely."
Though I, a frustrated poet at times, couldn't agree more, there was nothing more lovely in my mind than to get her helpless this very moment. I had to stay patient just a little longer.
"Come this way, m'lady."
we started to ascend the steps and my heart beat like the drums of island natives. Ohhh...soon. Sooon...sooooon.
"Meadows!" Lady Victoria suddenly said, "Look at this stair banister. It's horrid. There's dust all along it."
I paused in my steps and could not believe how tyrannical she could be.
"I'll see to it very shortly, m'lady. Come, up the stairs we go."
She seemed to shrug it off fairly well and we then neared the study door. My fingers began to twitch with excitement as I reached to turn the knob...
"Meadows!" she exclaimed again, "I see a crumb on the carpet! This house is an utter atrocity!"
Ooooh, m'lady...just you wait until I take you apart! my mind seethed at this moment. The way she lolled her words at me in that O so high and mighty proper accent she probably believed was the speech of God. The way she walked, all tall with the mark of hubris, the way she gestured as if sterility were her banner. I'll bet she never even took a shit in her life, dear reader, and if she did, she probably believed her excretions to smell like roses.
I turned the knob to the study and my face twitched in anticipation...this was it!
"After you, m'lady," I bowed low, extending my arm to the room. She raised her proper nose to the air and proceeded into the room. I then pulled out the promise of this whole affair, that being the key to the study, and turned it into the lock, cealing my bond to the room which now swallowed us both up as if it would not let us go until I delivered what my flesh and soul screamed to do.
...Tickle her...
