Redneck Family Tree

[goddess_nemesis]

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mom.
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa

 

[milagros317]

I've seen this before, it's very amusing. 😀
About those two babies: Each one is the uncle of the other, by genetics, not by marriage. (Well, half-uncle if you want to be picky.) 😱

 

[Tick L]

Well, that was confusing as hell, lol, but quite funny, nice job.

 

[Mufasa]

i needed some Tylenol after reading this lol... very funny

 

[isabeau]

Well, that was confusing as hell, lol, but quite funny, nice job.

you and me both... lol...

 

[Mastertank1]

You might be a redneck if.....

your family tree has NO branches.

 

[sole seeker]

Very funny.

About those two babies: Each one is the uncle of the other, by genetics, not by marriage. (Well, half-uncle if you want to be picky.)

Now that is stranger than the original poem!

 

[milagros317]

Now that is stranger than the original poem!

It's easier to see if you give them all names. Let the speaker be named Bob, son of Alan. Bob married the widow Alice, his widower dad Alan married Betty, who is Alice's daughter.

The babies are born: Carl, son of Alan and Betty, and David, son of Alice and Bob.

Carl and Bob are half-brothers, since they have the same father, Alan.
Carl is thus the half-uncle of Bob's son, David.

David and Betty are half-brother and half-sister, since they have the same mother, Alice.
David is thus the half-uncle of Betty's son, Carl.
😱

 

[goddess_nemesis]

It's easier to see if you give them all names. Let the speaker be named Bob, son of Alan. Bob married the widow Alice, his widower dad Alan married Betty, who is Alice's daughter.

The babies are born: Carl, son of Alan and Betty, and David, son of Alice and Bob.

Carl and Bob are half-brothers, since they have the same father, Alan.
Carl is thus the half-uncle of Bob's son, David.

David and Betty are half-brother and half-sister, since they have the same mother, Alice.
David is thus the half-uncle of Betty's son, Carl.
😱

That fact that you were able to read it without being confused as hell is amazing. Any chance you a redneck? LOL!