Sad and Confused

[justneedtotalk]

I'd like to start by apologizing if this is on the wrong discussion board. It has to do with tickling though I can't say it's as fun-natured as some of the other threads on this board.

I guess I'm posting here because I really don't know who else to talk to about this since it has to do with intimate fetishes. I'm going through a crisis in my life. A little bit about me, I'm a 29 year old male and my wife, who has had numerous affairs, has decided to leave me. I met her here on this forum a long time ago. We both have a tickling fetish but I also have a foot fetish. Amidst all of the sad and angry emotions I feel, I do miss her. But even more, I'm terrified about my future.

I think when many people go through a break up or divorce, it's of course sad, but I'm even more distraught because I have these fetishes. I'm sick to my stomach because I think they'll prevent me from forming lasting connections with any women I may meet in the future. Part of the reason my wife left me is that she, despite having the same fetish, grew tired of how much I liked it and wanted different things from different people.

I know that the interpretation among many women of men who have fetishes like this is that they're weird and creepy. Honestly, I can't blame them for feeling that way given the way so many men with these fetishes act in their attempt to satisfy their sexual urges. But this puts me at a disadvantage because I have the added burden (as many men do who are like me) of assuring women I meet that I'm not a depraved pervert. I'm normal guy who wants to be cared for and care for another person back. I need my fetishes to be accepted but that doesn't mean I'd ignore the needs of a potential partner either.

Sometimes I get really depressed because I feel like my life just might be a genetic mistake in the evolutionary progression of humanity. I can see no survival value or advantage brought about by having a tickling and foot fetish which only makes me feel like it's a defect. I really do wish I could be normal. I'd have so much more hope coming out of this divorce if I were. It's difficult enough to find someone to connect with on a personal, emotional, and intellectual level as it is. These fetishes just make it that much more unlikely and give me so little to look forward to.

My hope is to one day find someone who can either accept these fetishes or shares them with me. While this is just a part of my life that is reserved for the bedroom and isn't an all encompassing lifestyle, they're still important.

I guess I just needed to get this out for therapeutic reasons. I don't mean to complain, I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. This doesn't come from bitterness or resentment but more from a place of despair. I'm scared and I feel very alone. Maybe bouncing this off people who might know what it feels like will help. Thank you to those that took the time to read this.

 

[shygirl08]

Your wife left you because you didn't mix it up enough in your sexual interests? Wow.. what a reason to leave someone.

Our fetish isn't weird. Don't worry about it. It shouldn't be hard to find someone who, even if they don't have the fetish, will indulge in it with you to please you. I've never had trouble. 😉

Good luck!

 

[Gothika]

crappy reason for someone to leave if she truly loved ya she would have stayed despite all that it is possible to find a long lasting relationship despite the fetish just have to find someone that will love u as u are no matter what

 

[simon420]

Normal is a word that I sometimes really dislike. Your use of it is one of those moments. You have a fetish for tickling, as do I, as do so many people all over. For us, that is normal. I do not believe that it is something that we can just turn off and move on from. I'd even say that includes your wife. I truly hope for the best for you. If you ever need another person to just listen to you or talk, send me a message anytime. By the way, I'm Erik. Take care of yourself.

 

[BellybTickler]

"If you're Normal, the crowd will accept you; if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader"

-- Chris Titus


In essence, keep being you my friend. In all honesty, she doesn't sound like she is worth your honesty, devotion, and openness so I say take some time to recover your pride and esteem, then head right back out there. If you wish to share this fetish with a significant other, be sure to search for love first then introduce your fetish into the mix. And remember that going out is not marriage and that you're not bound to that person.

Do your best to focus on yourself and make sure YOU are satisfied and content and happy. Everything will fall into place afterwards.

 

[ISUmark]

There is still hope my friend. I know how you feel. I was a soldier who was deployed to Iraq twice in 4 years. I was married to a woman that accepted my fetish and began to enjoy it. Long story short, she cheated on me with another guy and sold all my shit while I was deployed..Your basic military wife story. I know the feeling of hopelessness after something like that ends, But you will get over it, and you will find joy in experiencing your fetish with new women. Coming out of a tickling comfort zone with a woman can be tough, but just meet new women and start up relationships the way you normally would, and the fetish stuff will come later. Im currently trying to date a woman now that I hang out with every now and again, and her feet are twice as ticklish as my ex. She doesnt know about my fetish yet, but part of the excitment is knowing that it may happen sooner or later. Just chin up my friend, things arent as bad as you think they are. By the sounds of your description of your ex, she isnt the type of person you want to spend your life with, cheating constantly and such...Youll realize that later it just takes time. believe me, I thought I lost a great women with my wife when I was heartbroken, until i realized all the shitty things she did. Itll come my friend, just stay positive.

 

[ticklishbod20]

I'm really sorry man.

I know it feels like the end of the world and tickling right now. But you'll pull through this.

It is hard to lose intimacy. And I understand you when you say that it is harder to develop intimacy, with these fetishes. I've been scared in the same ways myself when I've been dumped (and I've been dumped, oh my god, so many times).

But you'll meet new women. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the right women right away. But you're a young guy. You're articulate. And you are capable of expressing your own emotions. Women fall in love with guys like you once they get to know you.

The hurt is raw right now. It's hard to think ahead, maybe.

But when you do think ahead about meeting a partner, put yourself out there. Leave the house and mingle with others while doing a hobby you love. Or go to NEST or whatever other gatherings there are if you want tickling to be a guaranteed thing. Or... if you're REALLY having trouble meeting women, take a pilates or spinning class. The odds will be in your favor.

And lastly, you liking tickling and feet is not a disadvantage. You have to see it as an advantage. It makes you interesting. It makes you fun in the bedroom. When the time comes that you want to tell a woman (if you decide to tell), be confident ... even matter-of-fact about it.

Man, I wish you the best. Bro-hug.

 

[ticklishbod20]

Also, you deserve better.

 

[Dave Pavet]

Dude you are 29 what can be wrong?

 

[barefeetarebest]

I'm really sorry man.

I know it feels like the end of the world and tickling right now. But you'll pull through this.

It is hard to lose intimacy. And I understand you when you say that it is harder to develop intimacy, with these fetishes. I've been scared in the same ways myself when I've been dumped (and I've been dumped, oh my god, so many times).

But you'll meet new women. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the right women right away. But you're a young guy. You're articulate. And you are capable of expressing your own emotions. Women fall in love with guys like you once they get to know you.

The hurt is raw right now. It's hard to think ahead, maybe.

But when you do think ahead about meeting a partner, put yourself out there. Leave the house and mingle with others while doing a hobby you love. Or go to NEST or whatever other gatherings there are if you want tickling to be a guaranteed thing. Or... if you're REALLY having trouble meeting women, take a pilates or spinning class. The odds will be in your favor.

And lastly, you liking tickling and feet is not a disadvantage. You have to see it as an advantage. It makes you interesting. It makes you fun in the bedroom. When the time comes that you want to tell a woman (if you decide to tell), be confident ... even matter-of-fact about it.

Man, I wish you the best. Bro-hug.

Also, you deserve better.

Everything that has been said here. Additionally, whether you are religious, spiritual or not, the serenity prayer comes into play here. Accepting things you cannot control is key to dealing with our particular "disadvantage". Years down the road, you may hook up with your ex once again, if even for tickling only... and it might be initiated by her- just because. If she has cheated on you so many times, then that love is not really genuine- SO JUST GET WHAT YOU NEED!

You never know what the future holds. The "one" may be waiting just around the corner. Maybe not. Use this time to work on yourself, your confidence, your image. You have your whole life ahead of you. Btw where are you from? I know of several girls who will let you tickle them, or they will tickle you- and you are the type of individual that would benefit from this the most... We are catering to tickle-philes, I know because I HAVE BEEN RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE NOW!!

Please PM me.

 

[justneedtotalk]

Thank you, everyone for the kind words. I really do appreciate it. Some days are worse than others but I'm trying to keep my chin up and focus on me. It helps to read everyone's encouraging words because it gives me hope. Thank you all so much. 🙂

I'll be opening up here in the community in my own time as I work through this but I have to say, you guys have given a great and warm welcome.

 

[simon420]

Happy to see you still moving forward 🙂