Safe words get talked about a lot… but here’s the truth:

[Esm00ve]

Being tickled by someone who knows what they’re doing feels a lot like being edged to an orgasm. It’s that slow, steady climb… that delicious torture of being taken right to the brink. Your body is begging for release, your mind is spinning, and you’re hovering right on the edge of your own limits.
But a great Ler?
A great Ler never actually wants you to use your safe word.
Not because they ignore your boundaries — the opposite.
They’re so tuned in, so attentive, so good at reading you that they can take you right up to the precipice and stop just before you have to say it. They keep you safe and helpless at the same time. They know when to push, when to slow down, when to tease instead of attack… all in service of keeping you in that perfect “almost-too-much” place.
A great Ler makes you feel protected enough to completely hand over your control.
You can surrender everything — your body, your reactions, your dignity — because you know they’ll never take you farther than you can handle. They deliver maximum pleasure without ever crossing that invisible line that would break the fun.
That’s the beautiful paradox of a good tickling scene:
You’re losing your mind… but you’ve never been safer.

 

[milagros317]

I agree, but there remains an important question: How does one find a great Ler?
It took me several years (1999-2002) to find Mistress Kassandra, the first great Ler of my life.

 

[tk86]

I’ve been told I’m a lot like this as a tickler. I like to give plenty of unrequested breaks, to make the experience really fun, sexy and pleasurable. I always tell my lee to let me know if she’s ever uncomfortable in any way. While hearing “Mercy!,” in the midst of helpless laughter can be thrilling—not gonna lie about that—I don’t need it at all. What’s important is the fun time, the sensual ride we’re on….together.

 

[Esm00ve]

I agree, but there remains an important question: How does one find a great Ler?
It took me several years (1999-2002) to find Mistress Kassandra, the first great Ler of my life.

It's hard and takes trust and communication. Some people act like the lee isn't human and will push only to fulfill their fantasy. Ignoring wants of the lee. You can see it in some of the comments on tickle videos on what unrealistic things they would do to the lee.

Then there's the opposite side where the ler is too mindful and is afraid to push the lee to that pleasurable edge.

That's why trust and understanding is huge

 

[Maneo]

As a lifelong Ler, my experience has been one of learning that I am still doing with my wife lee. The order is intentional. She is my very willing lee who exhibits many of the attributes of experiencing the sensual, pleasurable torture of being tickled, and she is very ticklish. She is first my wife.

Relationship has always preceded tickling for me. But then, for me tickling and sexual intimacy have always been connected. This has been my experience with long term relationships and ships that pass in the night.

There has been safeword tickling and no safeword tickling. The OP described well that intoxicating mixture in a tickling scene between Let and lee Taking thicker to that cliff’s edge, just ready to safeword.

I found I had to learn to be laser focused on my tickle to judge if she was approaching a limit. Of course I also had to be conscious of her breathing and any ability to express real panic.

When Ler and lee communicate and are in sync, tickling can be a heady experience for both.

 

[Esm00ve]

As a lifelong Ler, my experience has been one of learning that I am still doing with my wife lee. The order is intentional. She is my very willing lee who exhibits many of the attributes of experiencing the sensual, pleasurable torture of being tickled, and she is very ticklish. She is first my wife.

Relationship has always preceded tickling for me. But then, for me tickling and sexual intimacy have always been connected. This has been my experience with long term relationships and ships that pass in the night.

There has been safeword tickling and no safeword tickling. The OP described well that intoxicating mixture in a tickling scene between Let and lee Taking thicker to that cliff’s edge, just ready to safeword.

I found I had to learn to be laser focused on my tickle to judge if she was approaching a limit. Of course I also had to be conscious of her breathing and any ability to express real panic.

When Ler and lee communicate and are in sync, tickling can be a heady experience for both.

Exactly. It takes two, or more, to all be on the same page. Some people may want you to make them safeword, but that's not everyone. And that person may not want that all of the time.

To put it simply, ticking sessions are like roller coasters. They're fun because you see that build up coming before you hit the crazy loops and drops, and it shows down again right before you had enough. Only to do it again. But it's just the right amount of excitement and fear. That's how all sessions should be, but that intensity depends on the person.

 

[SugarSoaker]

People use safewords differently and play differently. You can’t blanket a statement like this. I’ve had many great lers and still use a safeword often because that’s how I enjoy playing. I enjoy using a safeword, and communicate that with people I play with, so they understand that’s how I use safewords.

 

[Esm00ve]

People use safewords differently and play differently. You can’t blanket a statement like this. I’ve had many great lers and still use a safeword often because that’s how I enjoy playing. I enjoy using a safeword, and communicate that with people I play with, so they understand that’s how I use safewords.

It looks like you misunderstood the conversation

 

[tklmeadi]

Well said! Those are my favorite sessions, but they often take time to get to that point. Trust, chemistry, and when the Ler learns your body etc.
I personally try not to use safe words, I only do when i seriously can’t take it anymore.. so when I can be taken on that ride and pushed the right amount it’s so much fun

 

[Doriansenigma]

I try my best to get the lee to the edge of saying the safe word, but never there, I want the session to last as long as possible.