Settleing down: A woman that can cook or a gorgeous one?

[GQguy]

The male/female and age's are simply to get some biographical info on the individuals voting. Answer for yourself!

Just curious to see how the forum feels about this. If all else is equal between two women(intelligence, personality, attitude,fun, ect) except that one is very beautiful but can't cook/clean or perform any of the traditional female house roles and the other is plain but is great at all of the traditional house roles which would you choose?

I personally find myself dating the former of the two exclusively...and I must admit I haven't been satisfied. Dating a woman that doesn't stand out to me is tough in that looks are the first thing one sees and a great discriminator based on one's initial attraction(why pursue someone that you're not attracted to).

Anyways...what do you guys think. What has been your experience. Remember....all other things being equal!

And I know BOTH would be most people's biggest preference. But play along!



GQ

 

[Korastus]

I couldn't possibly care less about "traditional roles." I think they're pointless and silly. Either way, I think there are plenty of other qualities I'd look for before these.

 

[BellaRisa]

traditional female house roles

Unless I fell into the Wayback Machine and it's now 1922 you have got to be kidding. Seriously dude, you choose the one who's your best friend, will love you through the best AND worst of times, understands you deeper than anyone else, and wants what you want from life. The rest is trivial baloney that will keep you single until well into the next century.

 

[GQguy]

I'm not single. But I must admit that I was pretty good at it. I have a stunning live in girl friend.

I used to think just that....these gender roles are pretty silly and outdated. As a young single guy I was/am able to embody all of the roles my dad depended on my mom to do and the roles that he played as man of the house. My parents are still married.....and death will likely do them part. My parents needed one another....more than just the best friend part...but in the practical sense too. He did the physical stuff....she cooked. So even when they hated one anothers guts......they were still better off together.


Traditional gender roles might not be the right way of phrasing it. The point is complimenting one another. If a girl can put in doors, build furniture, mow the lawn and put up shelves...then the guy should cook, clean ect. One person shouldn't be doing everything.
GQ

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Why settle for one or the other when you can have both …

 

[c7_assassin]

Please. You can teach 'em to cook, but you can't teach 'em to grow tits.

 

[Leo tickles]

I don't really care if she can cook or clean. I can do those things myself. It is nice though.

Personally I'd take a less than gorgeous female who can't cook but will try after a long day of work for me than a beautiful one who can and never wants to. Sometimes it's about effort, not execution.

 

[stroker]

There is no choice, if all else is equal you will choose the hot one . Male sexuality doesnt give a flying fuck about a womans ability to cook .Thats why they invented takeaway.

 

[GQguy]

I don't really care if she can cook or clean. I can do those things myself. It is nice though.

Personally I'd take a less than gorgeous female who can't cook but will try after a long day of work for me than a beautiful one who can and never wants to. Sometimes it's about effort, not execution.

I think you got it Leo. It's the effort that means the most.

 

[tcklft]

Not much of a choice, is it? If she's smart and has a great personality and we get along, I'll take looks over culinary ability any day. I can do the cooking for both of us (and I can't cook for shit).

 

[ticklemepls]

Unless I fell into the Wayback Machine and it's now 1922 you have got to be kidding. Seriously dude, you choose the one who's your best friend, will love you through the best AND worst of times, understands you deeper than anyone else, and wants what you want from life. The rest is trivial baloney that will keep you single until well into the next century.

Bella makes a great point... and no, maybe you wont be 'single' the entire time, but in the long run you wont be happy.

i've had this conversation with a certain 'someone' (who i adore 🙂 ) ... however, think of it like this... 40 years from now you choose the looks over the one that has more in common with you and the general things she can do well, looks fad- but personality traits and talents dont... idk, maybe im just 'old school' in the fact that although yeah, i think my boyfriend is hot as hell, thats not the only thing that attracts me to him... hell not like i married my ex for his looks- just not what im about i guess... idk... people who are not 'picture perfect' in my honest opinion are more down to earth and willing to do and try more things... take it or leave it- just my opinion 🙂

 

[milagros317]

Call me shallow, but I just voted for the attractive woman who does no cooking and no cleaning. That's what restaurants and cleaning services are for. 😛

 

[pfromptown]

I'm lucky (and I'm not trying to show off or be a twat) in that I have both. Everyone who lays eyes on my girl comments on how hot she is, and she is also incredibly gifted at both cooking and cleaning. The difference between my relationship and yours (the way you have presented it in the first post anyway - if I've misread things then I apologise) is that we are a team. I would never dream of letting her perform the 'traditional female house roles' roles on her own: like someone said that kind of shit is a thing of the past, and deservedly so. I hate dusting and she doesn't mind it, so she does that. She hates hoovering and I don't mind it, so I do that. When she cooks she tends to leave a trail of devastation behind her, so I clean up after her in addition to helping her with the preparation, etc etc etc. If you haven't been satisfied, try learning to do that shit for yourself man!

It's funny, I was watching a Q & A session with Michelle Obama when she came over here to the UK and a schoolgirl asked her what to look for in a man. Her reply was "Don't make a list, too many girls tend to do that.". I think guys are much more prone to doing this than girls are: making lists of what their ideal woman should be and lamenting their partner's shortcomings when really, when they sit down and think about it, they've already got a pretty sweet deal.

 

[maniactickler]

Id sacrifice alot of things to have a hot woman. im all about the looks. yep, call me shallow.

 

[GQguy]

Ok...I guess I should give a little background on what prompted this thought.

I have a live in girlfriend that came with me as I moved for work. She's a little older than I. This past weekend we went to the wedding of one of her friends where everyone kept asking...when are you getting married?

Last night like most nights I made dinner. The alternative is us eating out. Chicken Parm from scratch. I'm a great cook(really good actually...just made us a lobster mac and cheese using gruyere). I'm clean. Afterwards I worked on fixing up our house. She watched tv and went to bed early. I would love for her to cook...but i've asked....and to be honest...I don't want to piss her off and completely turn her off to the concept. This has been the pattern.

She's gorgeous....and like you pfromptown a day doesn't go by while we're out that a guy or girl, young or old will not compliment her on her beauty. But I wondered...would I rather have a woman that was usefull around the house....or stick with the pretty girl all other things being equal. Just for shits and giggles I posted the poll online. I just realized now though that you guys don't know me..and hence the spirit that the question comes from. I don't need to date a maid(she had one growing up though). I'm a military pilot, I support my girl financially, cook for her, put in doggie doors ect. We are best friends....but as Leo helped me realize...i'm not feeling the effort from her part. Especially in light of people are asking me if this situation is the one I want to be in for the rest of my life. The answer at this moment is no.

I'm great at being single. The ultimate self sufficient guy. I'd still be single if the chemistry wasn't so great between us. Things are different though when you actually live with someone. I don't need a girl to do anything for me....I can do it all(but have kids)but when you're feeling like you're doing all with minimal effort on her part...it doesn't feel right. She grew up wealthy so the skills that us po folk pick up she doesn't have. I support her now so the lack of skills.....or more importantly effort is what is bothering me. It feels like we're a team....but one person is putting in alot more hours than the other.

I posed the question with the demographic info to see how my opinion might change as I grow older..and how it differs between guys and girls. I wanted to also post relationship status...but I forgot to.

She and I will figure it out....but if this is as good as it gets....I seriously might hold onto my bachelorhood into the next century.

GQ

 

[Cosmo_ac]

This is my opinion, GQ, based on whats happened with a friend recently.

He was in a relationship with this girl for...god, years, like 10 years. Now, she wasn't super hot or anything, but she was attractive enough. The problem was though, was that she didn't do anything. She didn't work, she didn't look for work, and she didn't do anything around the house. Whenever the subject came up, she would get upset, and it would go nowhere, and eventually he wouldn't want to bring it up because of the hassle involved. (in all fairness i should point out that the girl did have some problems with depression, but from what i've seen and heard, nothing so severe that she wouldn't be able to clean up around the house, or get a part time job or anything like that).

Well, eventually this came to a bit of a head. The guy hurt himself, and he wasn't able to work for a while. During this time, she didn't get a job, or try to get a job, so it put a lot of pressure the guy, both mentally and financially, and on the relationship. Eventually they ended up breaking up.

The point is, IMHO, you need to sit down and talk to this women about this. Perhaps you can make up a choir list to help devide it. If you do that, you'll have some structure and routine for her to follow. If she doesn't work, and it bothers you, talk to her about that as well. There are a million jobs out there, and she should be able to find one that she will enjoy at least a bit.

As for the main question in this thread, my response is that While i would love a smoking hot women, if i'm putting all the effort into the relationship in the way of cooking, cleaning, and working, it would eventually not work out. The stress would slowly build, and eventually it would just go off, and i'd probably resent her for it.

To Quote Silent Bob from Clerks:

You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work.

 

[smokinj]

I will 100% take the gorgeous girl every stinking time. Hell, I can cook. She can just do her thing, if thats just look good, thats fine with me. Yes, incredibly shallow but I don't care.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

I want a perfect 10: a girl with a 9 body and a 1 mind......... oh, and non-inflatable this time, too.

 

[AffectionateDan]

I don't have to vote.

I have both.

And she's kinda ticklish, too.

I win.

 

[kis123]

Ok...I guess I should give a little background on what prompted this thought.

I have a live in girlfriend that came with me as I moved for work. She's a little older than I. This past weekend we went to the wedding of one of her friends where everyone kept asking...when are you getting married?

Last night like most nights I made dinner. The alternative is us eating out. Chicken Parm from scratch. I'm a great cook(really good actually...just made us a lobster mac and cheese using gruyere). I'm clean. Afterwards I worked on fixing up our house. She watched tv and went to bed early. I would love for her to cook...but i've asked....and to be honest...I don't want to piss her off and completely turn her off to the concept. This has been the pattern.

She's gorgeous....and like you pfromptown a day doesn't go by while we're out that a guy or girl, young or old will not compliment her on her beauty. But I wondered...would I rather have a woman that was usefull around the house....or stick with the pretty girl all other things being equal. Just for shits and giggles I posted the poll online. I just realized now though that you guys don't know me..and hence the spirit that the question comes from. I don't need to date a maid(she had one growing up though). I'm a military pilot, I support my girl financially, cook for her, put in doggie doors ect. We are best friends....but as Leo helped me realize...i'm not feeling the effort from her part. Especially in light of people are asking me if this situation is the one I want to be in for the rest of my life. The answer at this moment is no.

I'm great at being single. The ultimate self sufficient guy. I'd still be single if the chemistry wasn't so great between us. Things are different though when you actually live with someone. I don't need a girl to do anything for me....I can do it all(but have kids)but when you're feeling like you're doing all with minimal effort on her part...it doesn't feel right. She grew up wealthy so the skills that us po folk pick up she doesn't have. I support her now so the lack of skills.....or more importantly effort is what is bothering me. It feels like we're a team....but one person is putting in alot more hours than the other.

I posed the question with the demographic info to see how my opinion might change as I grow older..and how it differs between guys and girls. I wanted to also post relationship status...but I forgot to.

She and I will figure it out....but if this is as good as it gets....I seriously might hold onto my bachelorhood into the next century.

GQ

Houston........you may have a problem!

You've said some very interesting things; the ones that really caught my eye are in bold type.

It takes more than hot looks, chemistry, and great sex to make a real relationship work. Not that they aren't good things to have or aspire to, but it's not the stick that measures the longevity of a relationship, marriage, life partnership....etc.

Isn't this the same one you made concessions with the dog? Looks like she sure knows how to push your buttons and get her way with you. You work hard all day and then have to come home to cook dinner for you both? What does she do all day while you're working hard? Doesn't sound like much of anything.

For me, I'm a woman who doesn't mind the traditional role for the right man. I went through 10 years doing it for the wrong one, once I get it right, I'll be awesome at it!

As ticklemepls said, looks fade; what else can you base a solid long-term, long lasting relationship on when the looks dissipate and the sex doesn't come as often? What happens when gravity takes hold and she's used those breasts to feed your children for a few years (c7 that one was for you....)? You simply cannot base your relationship just on how hot the woman looks or what your friends say when she enters the room. What else does she bring to the table? Based on your own words......not a lot at present.

GQ, you have just stepped into what I call "if only" land; if you find yourself saying "if only" to a behavior that gets under your skin or you find intolerable, it's time to ask yourself the tough questions. If it's a behavior trait you can live with for the rest of your life, then carry on. But if it's intolerable, it's a good chance it may never change; if it doesn't change, can you live with it for the rest of your life with her?

There's nothing wrong with finding what you and others consider the best or the hottest out there. The question is, does she have your back? I'd rather have an average looking man with average sex to have my back than to swing off the chandeliers with a useless pair of pants that ends up more harm than good to me.

***DISCLAIMER: Please don't think I'm calling your lady useless. That's just how I described the men I've had past experiences with.****

I do wish you both work out your differences and she starts checking into the relationship. So far, you've done all the giving and it appears on the surface that she's done all the taking. Have that talk with her asap; if nothing changes it might be time to reconsider your relationship status.

 

[tyf69]

Stay single

 

[ticklemepls]

Houston........you may have a problem!

There's nothing wrong with finding what you and others consider the best or the hottest out there. The question is, does she have your back? I'd rather have an average looking man with average sex to have my back than to swing off the chandeliers with a useless pair of pants that ends up more harm than good to me.

for the record- this statement amused me

 

[SlaverTickler]

This is such a great question because I was actually "educated" on it somewhat. Back when I was working for the TDSB I was talking to a woman who worked in the caff, and she told me her mother said "Learn to cook, because their are two thing men care about, and all women can do the other one." I thought that was awesome. So I will take a woman who is a decent-great cook and is a 6 or 7 over a 10 who can't boil water.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Unless I fell into the Wayback Machine and it's now 1922 you have got to be kidding. Seriously dude, you choose the one who's your best friend, will love you through the best AND worst of times, understands you deeper than anyone else, and wants what you want from life. The rest is trivial baloney that will keep you single until well into the next century.

What you want it what you want, and their isn't anymore wrong with "him" wanting a woman who is a good cook anymore then their is with "her" wanting a guy who will be understanding about how important her career is. It may sound like trivial baloney, but it's the real world.

 

[SlaverTickler]

This is my opinion, GQ, based on whats happened with a friend recently.

He was in a relationship with this girl for...god, years, like 10 years. Now, she wasn't super hot or anything, but she was attractive enough. The problem was though, was that she didn't do anything. She didn't work, she didn't look for work, and she didn't do anything around the house. Whenever the subject came up, she would get upset, and it would go nowhere, and eventually he wouldn't want to bring it up because of the hassle involved. (in all fairness i should point out that the girl did have some problems with depression, but from what i've seen and heard, nothing so severe that she wouldn't be able to clean up around the house, or get a part time job or anything like that).

Sounds like your friend was trapped in the movie Carnal Knowledge.

I'M TAKEN... BY ME!