It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now
nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual
activities.
Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the
results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary...................................... ...12 Calories
69 lying down...................................78 Calories
69 standing up..................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier............. ................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake............................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over....................................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.....................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories
Remember, results may vary.
nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual
activities.
Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the
results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary...................................... ...12 Calories
69 lying down...................................78 Calories
69 standing up..................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier............. ................2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake............................................1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over....................................Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.....................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories
Remember, results may vary.
