She wants me, she wants me not???

[Slaver123]

This might sound absurd, but I need some advice from people wiser than me-


I "met" a woman online a couple months ago (but not in person yet) who lives about 800 miles away, we were introduced by a mutual friend. We've become friends over the phone and via text where she makes it VERY clear that she wants to date me, and guarantees me pretty much unlimited sex any way I want it. I've warned her about all my "girl-repellants" like poverty and comic books, but it doesn't scare her off.

I'm convinced she's 100% sincere. But something seems wrong here... On the one hand, my best friend met his wife this same way (thousand miles away over the internet) and they've had a strong marriage for over ten years.

On the other hand, yeah I'm a great guy and actually listen when women talk, but it's like she's in love with me from day one and that actually creeps me out. I'm not in love with her because I CAN'T be in love with someone I've never met in person; I think she's constructed a fantasy about me that'll come crashing down when we meet in person.

Most women don't find me attractive, but the ones who do literally THROW themselves at me with a passion; I've had serious relationships start that way but they ended very badly.

If I just wanted sex or a "friend with benefits" this'd be a godsend, but I don't roll that way. I'm looking for "The One" but it seems she's picked me out as her "One" prematurely.

 

[Budweiserbob!]

There's a saying that's passed around a lot, and it goes like this:

If something seems too good to be true... then it probably is.

She does seem trapped in her own fantasy, from the way you describe it anyway, so it'd be a very wise thing to simply "talk" on your first encounter. I know that, if one of you have travelled 800 miles to meet, you'll probably want to get right down to the action but that would really make things worse. Have a long, boring but essential conversation with her about what you both want and make sure it's clear before proceeding. If it still seems genuine then go for it, otherwise... yeeeeeeah.

 

[melanie2]

I have to agree with BudweisorBob on this one..and saying she loves you so soon? I do believe in love at first sight..but you've never met in the flesh yet..i would hate to see you disappointed..take it slow...yes the first meeting should always be just a talk and get to know each other type of thing..i mean you could both meet in real life for the first time and take an instant aversion to each other..or not...

 

[juggernaut]

Can you post pics and vids of you tickling her!?!?!?!? Omg! That'd be awesome. She sounds really ticklish!!!!!

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

Plan a day trip somewhere between you and her. There is going to be traveling no matter what. So just find out if you two can hit it off or not. Don't get all amped up and nervous over meeting her. Just act natural and show her a good time. Don't get hung up on any supposed negatives you have. Women are far more forgiving than we give them credit for. Most important just have fun. No motel rooms or anything like that. No pressure. Just go out, meet, get to know each other face to face. If it works then plan something else. No talk of dating, future anything. No stress, no worries.

She of course would have to do the same. Don't be forward with your apprehensions, but don't allow them to control you either. It just boils down to the fact that you don't know. You both need to find out in a neutral, fun environment.

 

[melanie2]

Can you post pics and vids of you tickling her!?!?!?!? Omg! That'd be awesome. She sounds really ticklish!!!!!

tsk tsk nerrad..you are evil...but omg nerrad please post some pics of your awesome bod...hehe:stickout

 

[kopfhorer1]

Most women don't find me attractive, but the ones who do literally THROW themselves at me with a passion; I've had serious relationships start that way but they ended very badly.

Just curious, what happened (if you'd rather not say, that's OK too).

...I'm looking for "The One" but it seems she's picked me out as her "One" prematurely.

It does sound more than a little odd to me. OTOH, stranger things have occurred. Proceed with utmost caution, but proceed!

 

[juggernaut]

tsk tsk nerrad..you are evil...but omg nerrad please post some pics of your awesome bod...hehe:stickout

I'm sure he'd love that here in his thread.



SO, DUDE!!!!... CAN YOU!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

I'm sure he'd love that here in his thread.



SO, DUDE!!!!... CAN YOU!?!?!?!?!?!

leave him alone you naughty boy.She may not like that and couples need there privacy.You have to let the magic of love unfold before their eyes and the sparks fly as they fall slowly and deeply into love and become madly passionate about each other

Anyway,I do hope this all works out for you,I wish you the very best of luck Slaver123

 

[PurpleStyle]

Sprinkle of reality: 800 miles is a long distance to travel over something that's a coin toss. Perhaps you should be talking to her about this seemingly false-reality that she's built around you instead of a people on the interwebs you don't really know.

But that's just my 2% of $1.

 

[Slaver123]

I have to agree with BudweisorBob on this one..and saying she loves you so soon? I do believe in love at first sight..but you've never met in the flesh yet..i would hate to see you disappointed..take it slow...yes the first meeting should always be just a talk and get to know each other type of thing..i mean you could both meet in real life for the first time and take an instant aversion to each other..or not...

She doesn't say she's in love with me, but sure seems like she is. We talk and are supportive of each other like friends, which should definitely be a part of a relationship.

I've told her she can't count on physical attraction in person. She seems kinda "desparate"- I've been desparate off and on in recent years, but got over it last year (shortly before meeting her)

 

[sadi]

I've warned her about all my "girl-repellants" like poverty and comic books...

Comic books is a bad thing??? Well, though I have hardly next to none myself (I fall in the poverty boat with you), I can't possibly see how that would be a 'repellent' (I LUVS 'em to bits - especially the friggin' expensive graphic novels!! :ggrin🙂, but that might explain why I haven't had a (real) boyfriend ever, and I'm almost 22. :stickout And it almost may make my advice worthless, since I have no 'real' personal experience. :umm:

Though she may sound desperate to you through text, it's all text you must remember, and if you two do meet up, just have fun and do what you normally would, having a good time. (With or without money :happy🙂 Of course you want to show her a good time and get to know her, but, just be yourself and try your 'best' to have fun while getting to know her in an amicable relationship, first off, I'd say. If things click, then all the more power to ya'! If not... you tried at least, right?

Well, there's my ignorant advice on that subject. :blush I hope it works out for the best regardless what ends up happening between you two!! 😀

 

[Slaver123]

Comic books is a bad thing??? Well, though I have hardly next to none myself (I fall in the poverty boat with you), I can't possibly see how that would be a 'repellent' (I LUVS 'em to bits - especially the friggin' expensive graphic novels!! :ggrin🙂, but that might explain why I haven't had a (real) boyfriend ever, and I'm almost 22. :stickout And it almost may make my advice worthless, since I have no 'real' personal experience. :umm:
!! 😀

I've noticed a lot of 20-something women are into comics and graphic novels, things that used to be guaranteed "girl-repellants". Went to a horror convention a couple years ago and it was about 50% females in attendance. Wish I were 20ish again cause your generation seems way more interesting than mine. I never "grew up" like my peers, so I don't "get" their fixation with lawns and landscaping and matching drapes etc...

And don't knock your own life-experience!

 

[PurpleStyle]

I think my generation is merely less socially inhibited. Post high-school, anyway.. those were still the "OBEY THE CONFORMITY OR ELSE!" years. At least for me. As long as you don't join a fraternity or sorority in college, nobody really gives a shit what you do. Which is lovely. :lol

Comic books is a bad thing??? Well, though I have hardly next to none myself (I fall in the poverty boat with you), I can't possibly see how that would be a 'repellent' (I LUVS 'em to bits - especially the friggin' expensive graphic novels!! :ggrin🙂, but that might explain why I haven't had a (real) boyfriend ever, and I'm almost 22. :stickout And it almost may make my advice worthless, since I have no 'real' personal experience. :umm:

Though she may sound desperate to you through text, it's all text you must remember, and if you two do meet up, just have fun and do what you normally would, having a good time. (With or without money :happy🙂 Of course you want to show her a good time and get to know her, but, just be yourself and try your 'best' to have fun while getting to know her in an amicable relationship, first off, I'd say. If things click, then all the more power to ya'! If not... you tried at least, right?

Well, there's my ignorant advice on that subject. :blush I hope it works out for the best regardless what ends up happening between you two!! 😀

I imagine the issue is that you don't put yourself out there. Supposedly it's "easier" for women to make romantic connections, but there's so many idiots and undesirables that it makes it difficult to find the diamond in the rough. Some women choose to fling themselves at everyone, and some choose to not bother at all. But I would say your advice is still sound. I have a feeling that were you to make a romantic connection with somebody, you'd hang onto it longer than somebody who makes NUMEROUS connections. In my perception, the former is better. 🙂

 

[dag]

Never thought that I would agree with someone, who uses Quagmire for an avatar, about advice having to do with women BUT... Budweiserbob does have VERY good suggestions. (By the way... I am a BIG fan of Quagmire.. so don't think that I am hating on him 😉 )

Oh... one more thing.. just for the record.... GIGGIDY!!!! 🙂

 

[Slaver123]

I think my generation is merely less socially inhibited. Post high-school, anyway.. those were still the "OBEY THE CONFORMITY OR ELSE!" years. At least for me. As long as you don't join a fraternity or sorority in college, nobody really gives a shit what you do. Which is lovely. :lol



I imagine the issue is that you don't put yourself out there. Supposedly it's "easier" for women to make romantic connections, but there's so many idiots and undesirables that it makes it difficult to find the diamond in the rough. Some women choose to fling themselves at everyone, and some choose to not bother at all. But I would say your advice is still sound. I have a feeling that were you to make a romantic connection with somebody, you'd hang onto it longer than somebody who makes NUMEROUS connections. In my perception, the former is better. 🙂

A woman can walk into any bar at random and go home with a "mook", but good decent men aren't usually as aggressive as morons so they're hard to find.

My problem? Not many women find me attractive, but the ones who do are OBSESSED....