shyness

[tickmankyle1]

going to the michigan tickling party got me a little out of my shell. i'm a shy person i hve only shked out a hond full of girls about 8 i was going to ask out ended up being with a guy or had a BF. i'm i have even asked girls out that work in different areas where i work and i get laughed at like you were just joking ha ha ha. or i got to work really late in a way saying fuck you looser. i'm a great guy but i sometimes wonder if i will ever have another GF or get married like i would love to. i see all these guys treat girels like crap and they still have GF's comming out there ears. i just try to ask one out even if just for fun ie possiable friends hanging out and i get laugh at. i know they might thing it is harmless saying you were just joking about going out right but it crushes my courage what little i have. it had enought me going up to gilrs and talking to them but when they laugh at a great guy it hurts. when i went to the michigan tickling party i never felt like a stranger. where i work people think i'm different even though they are very out there them selves. i guess i just have to vent i wish i could find someone i guess like i belive the nice guys who would treat they girl like a queen well always be single. i saw a post from ticklejen and i feel like her. i talked to her at the party and i would have never known she was shy but you would not have known that about me either. she was very nice and open cause she like many of the ladies there talked to me and treated me with respect and didn't laugh at me or think i was weird at least not to my face. hell at work i told a girl cause she asked me why i was looking at her and i said to be nice and honest she was beautyful a compliment. she gave me the reaction like i was a weirdo for being nice to her and being honest. i don't understand. why is it when i say something nice about a women like wow nice dress or you have beautyful eyes legs hair or feet you have, they weird out???? sorry for the long post but just want answers that i don't think i will ever have. ps if any females are near indiana or anyone wants to comment feel free talk to you all later tickmankyle1
ps everyone i have ever been with has cheated on me or lied to me so my faith and trust in women is not that good bye

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I really enjoyed meeting you Kyle. Did you really think I was shy at the Motown party? I didn't think I was because before I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome I probably came across as shy because that condition makes you stressed in social situations as least most of the time. Since I have been diagnosed back in May of this year and working on my social skills I don't believe I come across as shy anymore or not as much. I think you are a very nice guy Kyle and I am glad I got to meet you also. As for those girls that don't treat you nice, don't worry about it, it's their problem. I know it may sound corny but you really have to love yourself first and then people will begin to like you more. Hope that makes you feel better.

 

[911]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I also think sometimes that woman only like assholes or preety boys or maybe a big stud. Guys like us will always have it tougher then them but if you are a nice guy don't stop being one. I hope you keep trying and maybe befriend a girl first before asking her out, there are probley some women who aren't bitches, that aren't involved with someone else near you. Their rare to find but at least your trying.

 

[indivision]

I usually feel a little stressed out in social situations, too, especially ones in which I know little to no people. If I ever get to know a few people on this forum, I may get around to coming to some of the get-togethers, which sound like quite a bit of fun. But, until then, I guess I will remain in the shadows.

 

[tickmankyle1]

thanks you all

tickle jen you did not come off shy at all i felt more scared to try to talk to you. i did my best cause you seemed really like a nice person. i'm working on going up to and talking to people i don't know. you seem like a great girl who understands what i might have gone threw. at least you would talk to me with out making me or others feel weird. most people i feel like i weird them out going up to them and talking to them you made me feel at home like it was nice to meet me and get to know me. you came off as a kind caring person who is open and outgoing and loving life. i would have never thought you were shy. all i can ask of anybody is to be your self and let you love light shine. don't quite know what you have or what it does but you seem like a great person. talk to you later tickman1

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I think the biggest misconception for the "nice guy" is that it is what a woman likes. That's not true, I know women will disagree but I bet most of them have turned down any guy that they considered a nice guy.

From my experience, I have noticed that it's okay to be nice but not TOO NICE. Treat a woman like she is important but don't treat her like a goddess because women don’t respect a guy that kisses their ass.

The attraction of a woman to a man is that of strength. Whether it is personality, spirituality, presence, physical, or intelligence. IF the man cannot show at one of these qualities then they usually aren’t attracted. That is why most woman are known to be attracted to the “bad boy.”

The fact that the woman looked at you weird is because a guy staring at them is “creepy.” It would happen to any guy not just you; also woman will talk to each other. So it’s possible that word got around about your compliments and staring. They may all think you are hitting on them. Men are often viewed as predators so my advice is to tone it down a bit and let them get comfortable with you as a person before you pursue them as a girlfriend.

 

[indivision]

When I first responded to this thread, I forgot to comment on the whole women-say-they-want-a-nice-guy-but-always-go-for-the-dickheads situation. It does sometimes seem this way, and for all I know, it may be true. Heck, as a mannerly, soft-spoken guy myself, I haven't had as much luck with relationships as I would like to. But, I once came across an article that addresses this issue. I kind of want to brush it off, but I think it's probably accurate. Here it is:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/114_dating_girl.html

I still catch myself thinking that soft-spoken guys like me are at a disadvantage. But hey, what do I know? lol

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

When I first responded to this thread, I forgot to comment on the whole women-say-they-want-a-nice-guy-but-always-go-for-the-dickheads situation. It does sometimes seem this way, and for all I know, it may be true. Heck, as a mannerly, soft-spoken guy myself, I haven't had as much luck with relationships as I would like to. But, I once came across an article that addresses this issue. I kind of want to brush it off, but I think it's probably accurate. Here it is:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/114_dating_girl.html

I still catch myself thinking that soft-spoken guys like me are at a disadvantage. But hey, what do I know? lol

Dude, being soft-spoken is not a crime. If you do it because you that is the way you speak it's okay but if you do it because you are afraid to put some "authority" in your voice then its a problem.

I read the article and I agree with it. If it confuses you, here is some "nice guy" things vs "the manly thing".

From my experience...

Pick a flower for her in the park if you happen to see one as a gesture you are thinking of her.
Don't start picking and handing flowers to everyone.

Cry for something sad on tv that moves you
Don't cry everytime you see the sunset

Let her know that you she makes you and your life more complete with her in it
Don't tell her that without her you'll certainly die
The only thing you can't truly live without is oxygen, food and water.

If you need to run from danger take her with you.
Don't go screaming in the wind leaving her behind coughing inside your dust cloud.

And last but not least...
Stick to your convictions or compromise.
Don't be one way and when she doesn't like it...fold like a lawn chair.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

From my experience...

Pick a flower for her in the park if you happen to see one as a gesture you are thinking of her.
Don't start picking and handing flowers to everyone.

Cry for something sad on tv that moves you
Don't cry everytime you see the sunset

Let her know that you she makes you and your life more complete with her in it
Don't tell her that without her you'll certainly die
The only thing you can't truly live without is oxygen, food and water.

If you need to run from danger take her with you.
Don't go screaming in the wind leaving her behind coughing inside your dust cloud.

And last but not least...
Stick to your convictions or compromise.
Don't be one way and when she doesn't like it...fold like a lawn chair.

That's great! Very good advice!

It was an honor and a pleasure meeting you last week, Kyle. The Miz thought so, as well.

When you display the confidence in yourself, everything else falls into place. It's the truth. I can verify this. The problem is getting to that point.

There was this scene in 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' when the class nerd is told that he has to give off the reflection that being around him is the place to be. Funny movie, but it's the absolute truth. You can be born with this. Many of us have had to develop this talent somehow. You have to learn how to love yourself.

No, it's not easy, and no one ever said it was. You have to do it, though...for you. For Kyle.

Hope to see you again in the future...

-G

 

[tickmankyle1]

hello all

i love myself alot i'm not un happy at all just mad cause i feel like what you all said it true women hate nice guys. i guess i'm stuck cause i can't change who i'm i can't be an Ahole it just gets old being kinda laughed at when asking someone out even if it be just for friendship. i guess since i have been cheated on bye everone i have ever dated i don't belive there is a honest women out there. to the one women who is i'm sorry but they haven't come to my door. i guess with the way i have been treated and shit on and abused and attacked i never want to be that way to a girl to me that is wrong. even if that means i will be single for the rest of my life. i have been so fucked over by every gf i ever had so i have no emotion. if i was to ever date again or be with someone i could not cry or care if they left me it would be like oh well. i guess they could never emontional hurt me cause that has been taken from my life cause to keep from getting hurt i just don't care anymore. i mean if we work out fine if we don't what ever. i never get my hopes up with anyone cause that way i can never feel let down if it doesn't work out. sometimes i wonder if about things like about who i'm but since there is no way they can really even know me how can they judge me. i'm never complaining it just gets old many things and people in my life have betrayed my trust and i just spread the word so that others like me don't feel alone. i just keep me head up and keep moving on. today i get my majestic foot and back massage business cards so i can start handing them out and maybe find a person in need of my help with a foot back leg or arm massage. i love all you people here and keep on tickling peace love and chicken grease