Sigh.... "friends"...

[socktickler86]

Sorry, this is totally going to be a whiny little rant!

Anyone else here just hate when friends totally drop off the face of the earth in terms of your friendship with them when they hook up with a guy/girl? I have a friend who was one of my best friends when she was single or just beginning dating the guy she's with. We'd text a ton every day and call each other fairly regularly (she moved to Texas a couple years ago) and everything was great. Then she moves in with the guy and has pretty much gone quiet. It's to the point where we never talk on the phone, text once every few days and maybe 1 out of every 3 texts she'll actually reply to. To top that off, whenever I don't reply for a few hours, she texts "HEY! Where are you?!". Plus of course, she has the time to post on facebook that she's so happy and is playing chess with her bf and other trivial nonsense, but can't bother with keeping in touch with me. It's things like this that gets me down on friendships!

I'm no dumby, I know the friendship is basically shot, but I just had to whine to someone!

 

[Bothersome]

A lot of rants going on today. Must be a rough week for everyone.

Anyways, I know this feeling. I've had many friends, both male and female, who drop off of the face of the earth when they hook up with a significant other. Of course, I can't justify being mad at them,(In my honest opinion, the significant other should come first- if only by a small margin) but it still irritates me.

I have no solution for this. I really wish I did, for both of our sakes. If I try and keep the friendship going, they either get annoyed, or are just too busy to reply. If I go on with my life... well, as you said, the friendship dwindles. It's a no-win scenario.

Anyways, I hope stuff works out for you.

 

[socktickler86]

I'd agree with you that we can't be mad in such a situation... but ugh, it's so irritating. Considering on multiple occasions I convinced her to stay with him and she doesn't have a job, I can't help but be annoyed that she doesn't put much effort into our friendship anymore.

I think I've learned something as I've grown older. Friendships have their ups and downs, but I think if they ever get down to a certain level, the best thing is to cut the friendship off. I've never had a friendship where we went through a rough patch that has really withstood the test of time after that.

 

[TropicThunder]

This is one of my biggest peeves when it comes to my male friends. They get a girlfriend, and its like I don't exist. Or even worse when their new girlfriend has that "Oh, I don't want you hanging out with other girls." thing. That drives me up the wall.

 

[Persephone]

I hope it works out for you. Friendships are something you really have to work at to keep them going, like any type of relationship. Probably the distance and excitement of a new beau in her life is taking her attention away from texting/calling you. It's probably nothing personal, but when you get something new and shiny...it is easy to get distracted.

Best of luck 🙂

 

[scorpionldr]

Sorry, this is totally going to be a whiny little rant!

Anyone else here just hate when friends totally drop off the face of the earth in terms of your friendship with them when they hook up with a guy/girl? I have a friend who was one of my best friends when she was single or just beginning dating the guy she's with. We'd text a ton every day and call each other fairly regularly (she moved to Texas a couple years ago) and everything was great. Then she moves in with the guy and has pretty much gone quiet. It's to the point where we never talk on the phone, text once every few days and maybe 1 out of every 3 texts she'll actually reply to. To top that off, whenever I don't reply for a few hours, she texts "HEY! Where are you?!". Plus of course, she has the time to post on facebook that she's so happy and is playing chess with her bf and other trivial nonsense, but can't bother with keeping in touch with me. It's things like this that gets me down on friendships!

I'm no dumby, I know the friendship is basically shot, but I just had to whine to someone!

Man, I almost thought this was a talk about how people we date that don't work out and call themselves "friends" to you later on just disappear and treat you like a stranger.

If I had a nickel for the times I've heard "it won't work out but I hope we can be friends" and texted a girl later on to recieve "who is this" in response, oh, the money I could have made....

 

[april]

Unfortunately its a fact of life. Its only natural when people partner up, to start spending more time with their SO than with their friends. Does it suck? Yes. But its just another phase in life. Most times though when the "newness" wears off or they enter into a more laid back relationship with their SO, they tend to reconnect with their friends. Unless of course they start a family and their time and obbligations should most deffinately be focused on them. I also notice that these types of friend complaints are made by those who are very young teens/early twenties or by those not married with children. I made the same types of complaints; friends not spening time with us, friends have changed ect...Everyone changes depending on what phase you enter in life, its inevitable. It does still suck.