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Significant other into your fetish?

M

mcmunagle1

TMF Poster
Joined
Dec 11, 2003
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Is it important for alot of you to have your gf or partner into your fetish of being tied up and tickled? I think it is for me, I would miss it if I never did it.
 
I think it's important, for me, to have someone that accepts and embraces it. Not necessarily someone that gets the same out of it as me, but as long as they understand (as best as I can explain) what I need and what I get out of it and indulge me. I think thats if not all i can ask of most people, then i think its enough - for me anyway.
 
It's fairly important for me. I'd prefer to be with a woman who enjoyed or at least was ok with it, which is one reason I'm fairly open about it to begin with.
 
ah don't base your entire relationship on one fetish, unless it's something you know you will both love for a long time..it's easy to say you can't be with someone who isn't into tickling, but look at the reality..not that many people are into it..if you find someone who is, and you also have other things in common, and love each other and get along great, then you are very lucky..and yes i know couples who met on the tmf or here who are very happy together..and wow i think it's fantastic..but obviously i'm afraid they are in the minority..i mean lookit me..my significant other is not into this at all..he won't ever either..but i'm not going to leave him over this..

anyway...yes it would be ideal to be with someone who would tie me up every night and tickle the living crap out of me..mmmm that would be so much fun..but it's not going to happen for me..
 
I have some thoughts, too!

First, a disclaimer. I'm apparently very strange in this belief, as every time I've voice these opinions, they are very seldom ever supported.

I think it's important that both sides be willing to try what the other likes, and be able to indulge them. Before, I'd not had a g/f who was into BDSM. Now I do, and while I will admit to not always being that effective 😉 I've learned, read, even, GASP, come to enjoy something that before I'd never even had an opinion of.

When two people are in a close relationship, especially marriage, I find it distasteful if one of them "can't stand" or "doesn't like" something that the other finds important, and thus refuses to do it. No, distasteful is too light. It's hateful. If you love someone enough to marry them and spend your lives together, you damn well better find a way to enjoy it.

I know that a lot of people have this sort of mindset where, if somebody's not into this, they "don't want to force it on them." However, I personally believe that it's disgraceful for someone to deny something so important to their partner simply because they're not used to it.
 
sorry Jimmy the James man..i must disagree...respectfully however...you can't make someone do something they don't like..and i didn't know about this until fairly recent..i mean subconsciously it was always there..but i put it in the back of my mind as being perverted..sick...etc...

Jimmy..still wuv you though lol..
 
Mmm... you missed the point. You don't make them. It's their responsibility as your partner to make themselves like it.
 
I loved my boyfriend long before I was into this. And now, we live together, and he knows I visit this site, etc. But the problem isn't that he finds it perverted, because he doesn't. He's just extremely ticklish and hates it when I touch him in, you know, a tickling way.

But that doesn't bother me because as Isabeau said, there's more to a relationship then indulging in one's fetish... Although I did convince him to let me go at him once... Which is why JJ makes a good point; my bf knows how important this side of my life is and even though he hates tickling, he let me go at him once. And it wasn't too bad.
 
It is easier if your sig. is also into tickling, when I am on this site, it is looked down apon. I am rarely on, and I wish I was on a lot more! I have found lots of friends real quickly on this site and I appreciate everyone of you!
 
the hollywood brother thinks it is better if someone is into it as well but if not you will survive. the one problem that can arise from having someone into the tickling is that if the reactions are not the same that you get from some of the professional lees in the clips, it can make you think that your person is faking it or that you do something wrong. this is not the reality but it is a easy trap that the hollywood brother could see people falling into
 
My fiance was the first person I ever told about my fetish...early in our relationship...I felt I needed to be honest about my desires. At first, she was kinda weird about it. But as she realized how much it turned me on, she would become turned on...and began incorporating tickling me into things that turn her on...

I've created a monster.

I feel that, although it isn't crucial to have someone that is 100% into your perversions, it IS crucial that your partner at least understands your needs, in order to make a more informed decision to indulge or not to indulge, and in order to understand you better. Communication is key. I could possibly be with someone who would NEVER tickle me, as long as a) I was allowed to play (no sex, just tickling) with someone else and b) my partner never gave me shit for my desires. That would be unacceptable to me.

That's my $00.02...I'm waiting for my change...😉
 
well i guess i'm the minority then..as he a. does NOT understand..and b. has no intention of ever trying to understand...and guess what..we have survived relatively intact as a couple...

Hollywoodbrothe..i'm afraid i must disagree with you yet again...as to me most of the clips the ticklee i think is fake..unless it's someone you know or like Vivianna, who i've observed on several occasions..and with long clips at that, i know she is real...i think that your average ticklee, such as myself or any other ticklee here on this forum, could prove that we are much more ticklish than most of the models on those clips..i only wish i could prove it somehow..but i cannot...and the various members who i've met with in the past can definitely attest that i am indeed very ticklish..

oo and i am not saying that the ticklee's who appear on this forum starring in clips are fake..i just think that many of those clip models are..judging from the ones i've viewed in the past on other forums...

for example..they don't react the way i believe a lee would under those circumstances...like for instance, scraping their nails up and down the sole of a foot, while holding the toes back...the lee should be squirming around like crazy, giggling her fool head off, as i know i would...and it's not always what i see..maybe i'm wrong..maybe different people react differently to various techniques..i just know that watching some of the tools and methods used on models in clips, i cringe and curl my toes, imagining it were me..
 
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if the whole tickling thing is part of who i am, then i dont think i'm going to deny myself the pleasure of tickling in a relationship. and so if my gf is not accepting of it, then i'm going to look for another gf. but i dont think they have to be as into it as me for them to enjoy themselves as much as i do. i prefer that they are accepting. i have a fetish, nothing i can do about it 😛
 
It's easy to go from mate, to mate, to mate to try to find that special person to have a tickling relationship with. My fetish has come out after I married and now it suffers for it.

Mel, you know how i feel, he should try once for you, even an experiance just once will last a very long time.
 
I am focused on trying to find a partner who share my fetish to share with, but its tricky. I think it would be...very special.

Still, in the mean time, a tickle daemon can play. 😉
 
jim i TOTALLY agree well put man i would want a woman that didnt mind tickling me i had that and enjoyed every minute of it and her explaination:everybodys got different turn ons now if alot of women thought like that the world'll be a better place
 
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it's a requirement for me.
I don't know how I would really be able to go on if I had a girlfriend who didn't like tickling.
 
So...What are the odds of finding someone that
likes to be tickled ?...What are the odds of finding
romance here on this forum ?
If tickling is a priority you're going to be very lonely.
 
I guess it goes along the same lines as should your partner go out to a movie with you if they wouldnt like it just to make you happy. To some degree, yes they should once in awhile, as you should for them. You don/t have to love it like they do, but you certainly should give it a chance! Same with the restaurants they might like but you might not, the friends you might not both agree on and anything else there might be disagreement with. Compromise is a key, and it's essential, because if it isnt there then both sides are living incomplete lives without ever getting what their partners don't want.

I've never had a girlfriend who has had this fetish, but every one of them knew about it, and induldged me some. One of them even grew very very fond of the whole thing. Neither of them had the exact taste of it that I do, just like I never had the exact taste for furry like one of them did. But induldging somewhat in your partner's fantasy isn't going to KILL you, (unless his or her fantasy is like, you know, slowly bleeding you, or cutting your wrist vein in which case it might ^.^) but to a certain degree, with harmless things, especially something as harmless as tickling, then a good partner will at least play along to make you happy, just like you should play along with what they like once in awhile to make them happy. Even if you don't like it, (like i never liked giong to chick flicks but i went to a couple) you do it because it's making your parter happy, and you're supposed to like that.

It's one thing to not understand, share or appreciate something the same way, its another thing to flat out refuse to ever do it, because that's not even TRYING and part of a relationship is trying. Especialyl when it's nothing to the other person except at worst a minor inconvenience. (and ive had girlfriends who hated to be tickled too...so they would tickle me. no bigge, i still got to enjoy it some) I had one girlfriend who loved to cosplay, i didnt', so she would cosplay instead and we would act out half of a RP. helped her (and on halloween i even did one with me dressed up too) cuz...what the heck it wastn going to kill me!

To an extent for your partner to really understand you, they do need to have a sense of what drives you, I agree that this fetish is a small small part of a relationship and it is a mistake to run your life around it, but any parter who is as giving as a partner should be, should want to make you happy, just as you should want to make them happy, even if it means that you might have to do something once in awhile that might not make you jump up and down, (within reason of course)
 
A few of you I met at a handful of gatherings a few years back may remember my last girlfriend. She was a one in a million shot random meeting through a mutual friend offline who just happened to enjoy both tickling AND foot fetishism almost as much as me...despite our shared fetishes however, we couldn't make it work...

The current and ONLY love of my life, my fiance does not share my fetishes but tries her best to indulge me as much as she is able. But to be perfectly honest I love her so much that if she refused to have anything to do with it I would respect that for her...she means just that much to me....

So for me...despite being a tickling fanatic....having the type of emotional connection that makes a life together worth living is far more important than a fetish like this...
 
I make sure my significant other is at least willing to indulge me, if he doesn't find it totally hot.

Most guys are willing to do just about anything if it means the possibility of getting laid, so I've not yet dated a guy that was opposed to it.

The key is to bring it up early in the relationship so you can gauge the other persons' response. If they are into it, let the fun begin. If not, hopefully it's early enough where you can consider dating someone else. I just hear about people being married for years and their S/O doesn't realize they're into this, or thinks it's sick. Just sad to me.

Another key is, don't use the word fetish, as it comes across as some kind of mental illness to vanillas.

If you're confident and keep the conversation light-hearted, it will help to make the other person not so uncomfortable, I think.

Though, at times, you will just come across narrow minded assholes.
 
Mercury said:
I loved my boyfriend long before I was into this. And now, we live together, and he knows I visit this site, etc. But the problem isn't that he finds it perverted, because he doesn't. He's just extremely ticklish and hates it when I touch him in, you know, a tickling way.

But that doesn't bother me because as Isabeau said, there's more to a relationship then indulging in one's fetish... Although I did convince him to let me go at him once... Which is why JJ makes a good point; my bf knows how important this side of my life is and even though he hates tickling, he let me go at him once. And it wasn't too bad.
Click to expand...

Hiya Mercury! :chinese:
I think it's wonderful that you got to at least give it a go with your bf.
And I honestly wish, Izzie had the chance too. :cry But as you say, Izzie, you have decided the guy is more important than the giggle and so God bless you in your love together!! :wub:wub

Still, I have to admit, sometimes there are things that are so important to us, be it tickling or something else like playing sports or a passion for certain kinds of music, that we need to be able to share it in a relationship. And if sharing our special interest is a deal breaker, then we don't need to feel guilty about it. I think, at least.

So long as you know. And let your partner know.

I guess i have to count myself in the lucky category. Gosh it seems like ages ago. But anyway, I remember when the guy who became my bf (and later my hubby) and I started going out he took it -mm, not so well.:cry My joy of being tickled silly, that is.:blush

But even though it sent us through a rocky patch I think it was important to talk about it. at least he found out more about me and I him. In the end we decided we loved each other more than any one activity. So I let it go. But in my case at least, even as I did that, he decided to try tickling me!!:lol :lol

To make a long story short, eventually, he came to enjoy it enough to make it part of our relationship together. But even if he had not, I think the openness and honesty is what mattered most rather than his acceptance of my 'thing' so to speak. 🙂

anyway, those are my random thoughts. 😉

Many blessings,
 
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