Some Jokes for Y'All

[MistressValerie1]

===WELCOME TO OUR HOME===

"Oh, I sure am happy to see you, " the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us. The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked. "I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!", the little boy answered.

===JUST CURIOUS===

Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding!"

Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"

===THE BLESSING===

The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"

 

[MistressValerie1]

A couple more 🙂

=== Half Price ===

US Air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.

Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"


=== Life After Death ===

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

 

[nessonite1]

LOL on the last one, Valerie! Here is my contribution...

A dermatologist goes in to work one day, and his first patient comes in and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me.
My boyfriend refuses to take off his letter sweater when we make love, and now I have this horrible rash." She
takes off her shirt, and sure enough, there's a big red itchy rash in the form of an H on her chest.
The doctor says, "This is interesting, I've never seen anything quite like it before. I wonder why it occured in
such an unusual shape."
"He goes to Harvard," she says.
"Ah, that would explain it," he says. He prescribes some calamine lotion and sends her on her way."
The next patient comes in and says, "Doctor, I hope you can help me with this rash. It's a little embarrasing,
but it's driving me crazy." She takes off her shirt, and displays a big, itchy, red rash in the shape of a Y. The
doctor raises his eyebrows. "It's my boyfriend," she explains.
"He goes to Yale, and is so into his new letter sweater that he never takes it off, even when we're making love.
Is there anything you can do?"
The doctor prescribes calamine lotion and sends patient number 2 on her way. The third patient comes in and says,
"Doctor, you've got to help me!" She takes off her shirt, and there on her chest is a big, itchy, red rash in the
shape of an M.
"Don't tell me," says the doctor. "Your boyfriend goes to MIT, and refuses to take off his letter sweater when
you make love."
The patient looks at him with surprise. "Close," she says. "My girlfriend goes to Wellesley."

 

[His Divine Shadow]

LMAO to all of them, although the last one startled me. :happy:

 

[sole seeker1]

Excellent! Loved 'em all!