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Something To Offend Everyone

unclebill

2nd Level Green Feather
Joined
Dec 19, 2002
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Disclaimer: Sorry for any repeats, but there is some good stuff here. Happy Easter to all. 🙂



Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball??
A: Juan on Juan

Q: What is a Yankee??
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive??
A: Because its worth it.

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over??
A: Doughnuts

Q: What do you call a smart blonde??
A: A golden retriever

Q: Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife??
A: 10 years and 45 pounds.

Q: Whats the fastest way to a mans heart??
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good looking??
A: Because these men already have boyfriends.

Q: Whats the difference between a new husband and a new dog??
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why don`t bunnies make noise when they have sex??
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW??
A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant??
A: Are you sure its mine??

Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex??
A: Mace will do that to you.

Q: Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia??
A: Everyone has the same DNA.

Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby??
A: They named her Sum Ting Wong.

Q:Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact??
A: Breasts don`t have eyes.

Q: Why do drivers ed. classes in redneck schools use the car on Mon. Wed. Fridays??
A: Because on Tues. and Thurs. the sex education class uses it.

Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the post office is flying at half-mast??
A: They`re hiring.

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F word??
A: Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "BINGO!!!"
 
I'll have you know I was not offended at all. So there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Hilarious! I like the one about the Golden Retriever best.
 
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