Telling your girlfriend?

[Snerkablee]

I've been in a realationship with this girl I met in my college class for a little over a month now, and I want to ask how long do you have to be in a realationship before you can tell your girlfriend you have a tickle fetish? Really though HOW do you tell your girlfriend? Im afraid that if I told her she will leave me thinking me to be well kinda "weird" (Though I am already kinda weird.)

I really really want to tell her, just I dont know how or when to.... help?

 

[TicklishSinner]

let it flow..

you cant be your whole life to scared to tell your girlfriend...so just let her in on your secret..show her the website..thats what i did with my fiancee and he converted..lol...just let her know you are interested in it, the worst she can be is not interested, but dont be afraid to tell her...you wouldnt want her hiding something like this from you

 

[dskodj]

Pretty much man, you just gotta be free open and not give a shit what anyone thinks of ya and just be you. I learned this several years ago. Im up front about my foot tickling fetish I have and its either ya take it or leave it, if she really "likes" you then she has to accept you for who you are. No reason to hide it. Its actualy a good test to see if the person really likes you as well and not with you for some other reasoning. Be firm, and be strong and stand for what you belive in with no fears😉

 

[Ayla ny]

pick tickle fights, mix in lots of kisses and don‘t hide what it does to you. let her realize it naturally.

I am absolutely convinced that if you have the chance to make it part of the way the two of you express affection (and stuff 🙂 ) then that’s the way to go. sometimes we make way too big a deal out of things like this in our own minds (I am REALLY guilty of doing this) when if we had just treated it like we would have any other ‘turn on‘, we would have been way better off.

 

[jjtsasaki]

At the risk of pigeonholing myself...

I'd suggest gently but delibrately doing to your girlfriend as I write below:

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=370741#post370741

Cheers!

jjtsasaki

 

[The Pianist]

Yeah, as Ayla said... make sure she pretty much knows through your actions first. If knows that she can't see you without getting at least poked, she won't be too surprised if you eventually tell that you actually enjoy it.

I already have a few girl friends (not that I'm 'involved with though) that will bet money on the fact that I will tickle them if spend any length of time around me. Its safe to say they know I enjoy it... and probably that they also enjoy it a fair bit... and actually... I think one of them thinks I enjoy it alot more than I'm willing to let on... but I'm not sure.

Speak through actions rather than words perhaps.

It'll also mean that it won't be a horrible secret that you have to keep quiet... it'll just be something she'll see comming.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

i always believe in being honest, and forthright

but if you need to be coy, try tickling her , and as she laughs, tell her you love the sound of her laughter, and what a turn on it is for you.😱

you can ACT a little sheepish, this will disarm her, and make you SEEM less threatening. but do be honest once you get her to this point. remember this may be "the girl", but you won't know if you don't ask!

steve

 

[chrisheaven]

be as honest as possible- you'll find that it's the best way

 

[Em Es]

Actions, not words; When a woman wants you

Snerkalbee, I agree with Ayla and the Pianist: let your fingers do the talking. If she WON'T tolerate it when you tickle her, then you will be better off for NOT having been upfront about your tickling passion. Remember, anything you tell a woman, she will repeat it to all her friends and family. Especially if she thinks it's weird!

But if she WILL let you tickle her, then the words won't be necessary, will they? When a girl wants you bad enough, you won't have to sell her on seeing things your way. That's the most important thing to keep in mind. Two cases in point:

A college tickling situation . . .

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=34324

and a cute little ticklish nurse . . .
http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=34428

Good luck and let us know how it works out!

 

[ShadowTklr]

By now, you probably already know what her reaction is to being tickled by you. If not, then I would agree with Ayla and others who suggested using gentle, playful tickling as a way to open the door to the conversation.

Only you know the extent to which your fetish goes, so I would introduce her to your feelings about it as soon as possible. There is nothing wrong with following a little tickle play with a serious conversation about your feelings. You may be pleasantly surprised.

 

[P50]

Snerkablee, you're in luck. The TMF has a thread describing what you're after, called,,,

<I>CONVERSATIONAL TICKLING !!! </I> Learn all about it here...

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=18716

(Okay, that's a shameless self plug, uhmmm, well, it does fit here. Anyway, back to Snerk's problem)

Okay Snerk, here is my <I>general </I> suggestion as to how to move into the matter of conversational tickling for you and your girlfriend at this time in your lives. You will have to fill in the details by yourself for the specific context in which you find yourself and her at this moment.

Whatever, whatever.

Most of us humans like kissing. Take advantage of this fact and kiss your girlfried. Kiss her a lot. (I know this is tough advice, but search for your inner strength and force it.)

Okay, Let the kissing continue, and, with <I>one fingertip </I> (that's <I>one only</I>, don't flood her sensory receptors) slide, glide, and trace a random pattern across her back,,, from shoulders to waistline. Remember the shoulder blades, the spine, and the small of the back, too. Don't miss a single square inch of her back. Slide that fingertip all over it; everywhere.

If this girl hates tickling, you will know this in approximately 5 seconds flat.

If she doesn't respond, you're still probably okay.

Be ready for a 3rd, not too likely possibility: she's one of us, and demands that you give her more, and give it to her right then and there on the spot.

All this assumes, of course, the normal regular polite things that a boy and girl do for each other; e.g., take a shower 2 to 3 hours before meeting the girl, make sure neither of of you are keeping the other one awake too late; and don't allow alocohol or bizzarre foods to affect the setting, etc., etc., etc..

You want yourself and herself <I>both</I> to be alert, sober, clean, and non-distracted for this.

Again, do whatever you need to do to prepare yourself psychologically (and don't ask me how to prepare yourself, make up your own plan) for your girl to give you any one of at least three different possible responses:

[1] Hates it
[2] Doesn't care
[3] Likes it

 

[BigBrownEyes]

The best way is just to experiment with tickling in the relationship. You can tickle her here and there, and find out her feelings about tickling. She might tell you that she hates to be tickled, or you just might be pleasantly surprised. Either way, she'll probably tickle you back at some point. Then you can tell her that you like tickling, or that you think it's fun. But I wouldn't use the use word fetish.

By just telling her that you think tickling is fun, it will open her eyes to the fact that you like tickling more than the average person. If she also likes tickling to some degree, then you can push it a little further. Just my two cents...

 

[f/f]

lol well ima girl into tickling so if a guy or girl told me they were into it id be happy.

but i recently told my bf and he didn't mind. so what im saying this that if this girl likes you as much as you thinnk she does then she will have no problem with it

 

[dskodj]

lol well ima girl into tickling so if a guy or girl told me they were into it id be happy.

but i recently told my bf and he didn't mind. so what im saying this that if this girl likes you as much as you thinnk she does then she will have no problem with it

AMEN! 😀

 

[PBL]

Unless you feel the relationship isn't going to last (in which case you should get out of it already) you should tell her as soon as possible. I told my g/f several months ago, and it was such a huge weight off my shoulders. Now she isn't into tickling for its own sake, but she is into it because she knows how much i like it, and the effect it has on me. I would recommend just telling her.

 

[f/f]

HOLY GOD SOMEBODY AGREES WITH ME!

















😛 lol

 

[dskodj]

Very much so LOL...basicly what I said in my post in a paragraph and a half you sumed up in a few lines 😛

 

[f/f]

i dont like typing that much and i just wanted to say it from a females point of view cuz i know that some guys have trouble talking about these things.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

I have to say that I really disagree with the "tell her right away approach." Let her discover that you like tickling by your actions, but don't just blurt it out.

F/F, a male non-ticklephile is going to be more accepting of the whole tickle thing than a female. Those are the laws of nature.

 

[f/f]

ima female and i would accept it fine. but like i said its prolly cuz im into it myself but with me looking at it diffrently like if they guy told me he was in to pain i would think hes a freak so ya...

 

[curious ticklee]

don't let yourself be convinced that it's weird...

...because there's a strong likelihood that she won't think it is.

As with any new relationship, you have to let things evolve for trust to develop. If things aren't to a point where you'd tell her about, say, your father's drinking problem (or some other secret or taboo subject along those lines) then you're probably not ready to tell her about your tickling thing (I personally think that the word "fetish" contributes to the general anxiety about this subject.)

If you do trust this girl to that extent, then I'd take some of the aforementioned suggestions and try tickling her to see what happens. You might be really surprised at the result (and so might she!) Have fun with a bit of experimentation, then when you're feeling really good and comfortable and close, tell her how much it turns you on. Tell her why. Tell her how long you've been into it. Tell all. If the trust is there, and some of the physical barriers have been broken down, and she's worthy of being with you, there is absolutely no way you can lose.

Most importantly, don't let your fear cause you to engage in deception around the subject. I've been wanting and waiting for my beloved tickle lover to "come clean", and I can tell you from my own experience that it's a bad idea. It won't make things any easier for you in the long run, and it could potentially generate a lot of hurt if she finds out that you've been hiding something.

Live and let love!

 

[nobody271]

Hey,
I totally understand how hard this can be. For me I have trouble just saying the word "tickle" in real life. But anyway after going out with my girlfriend for about a month we started to tell each other "secerts" and that was the time I felt was right to tell her it. And we tickled each other more then enough at this point that it shouldn't have come to a total shock. So anyway I told her by giving her some background like... how I have this fetish that I have always had since before I knew I had it (like at age 7) and then I kind of let her guess what it was (like a game) and she got it after a few tries! And she totally embraced it! She didn't even love being tickled or anything but had no problem with it since she knew how much I liked it and was very understanding of it. Trust me, try telling a few girls about your tickle fetish (like good friends) you will be suprised to just how many people think there's nothing wrong with that. People that know you and love you, will accept it, trust me. I hope that helped.
-Chris

P.S. I don't have a g/f anymore though so girls I'm available 😀 🙂o )
I'm just kidding

 

[R. Davis]

It wasn't hard as I first thought!

I told my girlfriend on our first date about my thing for tickling. Now we enjoy having some pretty hot tickling games.

 

[Tickler Bart]

Telling your girlfriend

I would always tell her BEFORE we start dating.
Why waste time getting involved with someone that, after a while, you discover that she hates tickling?
That, of course, is a worst case scenario.
She may accept it... she may NOT. You really want to take that chance?
I say, let her know before you start dating her. This way she doesn't have any surprises later on in the relationship.
If you don't be up front & honest immediately, then your whole relationship is based on a lie & you'll know before anything starts if she's 'the one'.
This, of course, is my own humble opinion.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Well...

"but if you need to be coy, try tickling her , and as she laughs, tell her you love the sound of her laughter, and what a turn on it is for you.

you can ACT a little sheepish, this will disarm her, and make you SEEM less threatening. but do be honest once you get her to this point. remember this may be "the girl", but you won't know if you don't ask!"



Steve's got great advice here. Be honest...be YOURSELF.
If you're NOT yourself...you're gonna have a really hard time as time goes on. Whatever you do, don't be afraid. Fear's for those who are ashamed...
Good luck!