I always thought that the stereotype that men are soooooo shallow and think of women as objects and only go for the ultra hot supermodel type was true. However, I have come to find that young women in their 20s, compared to young men in their 20s...actually that women are more shallow, more picky, and more critical than men are. Anyone believe that? Like ok here's an example, I myself sit in one of my college classes, lets say there are 10 girls in the class...usually I would date 7 or 8 of them, because I find all of those physically attractive. But I've asked girls before how many guys they'd date in a class of 15/16 guys...and their answers were anywhere from 0-2 basically. I was like wow most guys must be really ugly or something...soooooo maybe its not fair that men get called pigs and shallow because I think men are much much more complimentary towards women's looks then vice versa. Maybe women are SUPPOSED to look better but still its just something I find interesting. Even on t.v. on dating shows, watch the women most of the time reject the guys looks "not my type" OR at least not compliment his looks...on the other hand the guys almost NEVER call the girl ugly he's dating, and most times says "all 3 were beautiful" yet you never heard a girl say "all 3 guys were handsome"...I dunno am I wrong?
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The difference between how men and women view looks...
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maniactickler
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Men are just created to be more visual than emotional. im just going with the flow!
AquaFeline
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You could be right, but here's my idea:
You would date 7 or 8 of the women from your class. The women in your class would date 0-2 of the men in their class. You pick out women based on their physical attractiveness, but you have no reason to think they picked out men based on their physical attractiveness (unless you specifically asked them.) What you've discovered is that women are more picky, yes, but that doesn't necessarily have to do with being more shallow. Even if you did ask based on looks, you'll find that women won't go out with most guys purely based on looks because other things are also important to them.
Maybe the reason why chicks don't compliment guys looks on dating shows is because they're not thinking about his looks, they're thinking about how much fun he was to be around and whether there's long term prospects there.
You would date 7 or 8 of the women from your class. The women in your class would date 0-2 of the men in their class. You pick out women based on their physical attractiveness, but you have no reason to think they picked out men based on their physical attractiveness (unless you specifically asked them.) What you've discovered is that women are more picky, yes, but that doesn't necessarily have to do with being more shallow. Even if you did ask based on looks, you'll find that women won't go out with most guys purely based on looks because other things are also important to them.
Maybe the reason why chicks don't compliment guys looks on dating shows is because they're not thinking about his looks, they're thinking about how much fun he was to be around and whether there's long term prospects there.
I am sooooooooo far removed from the twentysomething generation that it's difficult to even comment on this. But, being a large female brings another perspective to this thread.
Even though more women are asking men out these days, men are still the ones who tend to initiate the dating ritual. Usually men approach the women and the women tend to wait until the men pick them. That is until the ladies get tired of waiting and become more assertive/aggressive in the dating arena. I'm an "old school player" and will probably never approach a guy for a date.
That being said, because traditionally men make the dating choices, they do appear more shallow because they choose the "hot chicks". That is until they grow up, get serious, and start looking for wives to spend their lives with. They also have to be approved by their friends and wouldn't dare date a woman their friends didn't think was "hot".
Sorry but it's the truth anyway. Very few guys are secure enough to date a woman their friends don't approve. Some are, but most aren't.
Even though more women are asking men out these days, men are still the ones who tend to initiate the dating ritual. Usually men approach the women and the women tend to wait until the men pick them. That is until the ladies get tired of waiting and become more assertive/aggressive in the dating arena. I'm an "old school player" and will probably never approach a guy for a date.
That being said, because traditionally men make the dating choices, they do appear more shallow because they choose the "hot chicks". That is until they grow up, get serious, and start looking for wives to spend their lives with. They also have to be approved by their friends and wouldn't dare date a woman their friends didn't think was "hot".
Sorry but it's the truth anyway. Very few guys are secure enough to date a woman their friends don't approve. Some are, but most aren't.
featherfingers
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kis123 said:
Look at what happened when John Lennon hooked up with Yoko Ono. Do you think he cared? Guys could learn a lot from him.
tactillianlover
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In my twenty's, I was lucky to have a broad range
when it came to women's looks. I've dated many
different types. I learned that not so pretty
women are just as likely to be fun, sexy, bitchy
or foolish as model types.
I remember when the Allanis Moresette video where
she is nude came out. My friends were talking about
how fat she looked. Not me, I was thinking 'BABY'!
Tyra Banks never bares her cheeks when modeling. She
claims it's because of a few dimples on her tush. I
bet she has a fine behind!
Just some input.
when it came to women's looks. I've dated many
different types. I learned that not so pretty
women are just as likely to be fun, sexy, bitchy
or foolish as model types.
I remember when the Allanis Moresette video where
she is nude came out. My friends were talking about
how fat she looked. Not me, I was thinking 'BABY'!
Tyra Banks never bares her cheeks when modeling. She
claims it's because of a few dimples on her tush. I
bet she has a fine behind!
Just some input.
CaptainQuantum
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Sorry to resurrect another old thread, but I wanted to weigh in on this. I'm fat and hairy and lazy and just throw on the 1st t-shirt and pair of jeans I see in the closet, unless I have a job interview or something (oh yeah, ladies, I'm also unemployed. Don't worry I'm still single. 
). And women are just too damned picky. I thought women were supposed to go more for the personality than looks, yknow all that "inner-beauty" bullsh*t. I mean, maybe I don't have a pleasant personality (I can, it depends what kind of mood I'm in), but I mean I'd never hit my gf or cheat on her or anything, so that's inner beauty right?
I'm not picky at all I don't think. If she's at least a 6/10 in the looks dept, and is nice to me, that's all I need to know about her to not only date her, but have her as a gf. Women are too f*ckin picky
). And women are just too damned picky. I thought women were supposed to go more for the personality than looks, yknow all that "inner-beauty" bullsh*t. I mean, maybe I don't have a pleasant personality (I can, it depends what kind of mood I'm in), but I mean I'd never hit my gf or cheat on her or anything, so that's inner beauty right?I'm not picky at all I don't think. If she's at least a 6/10 in the looks dept, and is nice to me, that's all I need to know about her to not only date her, but have her as a gf. Women are too f*ckin picky
CaptainQuantum said:Sorry to resurrect another old thread, but I wanted to weigh in on this. I'm fat and hairy and lazy and just throw on the 1st t-shirt and pair of jeans I see in the closet, unless I have a job interview or something (oh yeah, ladies, I'm also unemployed. Don't worry I'm still single.
I'm not picky at all I don't think. If she's at least a 6/10 in the looks dept, and is nice to me, that's all I need to know about her to not only date her, but have her as a gf. Women are too f*ckin picky
Captain Quantum
First of all, I always consider an entire person when deciding who to date. Being overweight and hairy, unemployed, and casually dressed is not your biggest hurdle in your hunt for a mate.
I think it's your attitude toward women.
I think if you would never hit a woman or cheat on her, and consider those two things what you describe as your "inner beauty", you will be single for a long time!
In my years up till now I think it's pretty much the same .Looks can come in to play for some and some not . Personality always comes into play , everyone is different , for examples...loud , quiet , rowdy , sensitive . Looking at couples I cant help notice certain similarity in them .. A talkative person more than likely is not going to be with someone thats quiet and shy or someone that's sloppy be with someone thats clean ,These things can be overlooked with the more important qualities people have , but it can put quite a strain on things .. Qualities are very important . In life we pick out things to us that mean something and if these aren't being shared by both it can hurt a relationship .
maniactickler
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DannyMc said:
Dont you believe in the saying "opposites attract"?
maniactickler
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Helena said:Like Beauty and the Beast, right maniac? LOLOLOL
Are you implying im the beast?
scorpionldr
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I wonder just how true that is since I've tried just about any type of girl under the sun, but i think I'LL JUST CALL IT BULL.AquaFeline said:
simply put, lowered expectations should be an aspired goal for all people. the girl that I'm trying to make something happen with is an example of a girl with lowered expectations. she saw I was walking by and wasn't really going to try, but she immediately went for me because she probably thought that a good laid back guy was probably the only real requirement to have.
Knox The Hatter
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That being said, because traditionally men make the dating choices, they do appear more shallow because they choose the "hot chicks". That is until they grow up, get serious, and start looking for wives to spend their lives with. They also have to be approved by their friends and wouldn't dare date a woman their friends didn't think was "hot".
Lemme tell yaz: when I was nineteen, the last people you wanted to be seen with were the ones I was physically attracted to. Never would've heard the end of it. Of course, in retrospect, anyone who would've wanted to date the 1980 Knox The Hatter, given everything that was going on at the time, would've needed a checkup from the neck up.
I had such a crush on my manager at my burger stand at Great Adventure. She was a biiiig gal (a passing resemblance to Mimi, I might add). However, I would've given all sorts of blackmail not to have that come out, because telling people you liked fat girls was like telling people you wanted to take a two foot metal rod and stick it in your ear until it came out the other side. Taboo, it was.
Big girls were also purported to be mindlessly desperate, which was also a myth. They were too busy being societally traumatized (bludgeoned might be a better term) for what they were, to be desperate enough to date the true losers in school. Well, most of them, anyway. You did have an odd example, here and there.
The world's come a long way...I see big girls who have relationships and successful marriages and run successful businesses and are loved to death by the people closest to them in their lives. Certainly enough to make me tune out the odd voice here or there that's seemingly obsessed with what Society At Large values, bitching like they can actually do something about this, like it really matters in the end. 'Cuz it doesn't.
Lemme tell yaz: when I was nineteen, the last people you wanted to be seen with were the ones I was physically attracted to. Never would've heard the end of it. Of course, in retrospect, anyone who would've wanted to date the 1980 Knox The Hatter, given everything that was going on at the time, would've needed a checkup from the neck up.
I had such a crush on my manager at my burger stand at Great Adventure. She was a biiiig gal (a passing resemblance to Mimi, I might add). However, I would've given all sorts of blackmail not to have that come out, because telling people you liked fat girls was like telling people you wanted to take a two foot metal rod and stick it in your ear until it came out the other side. Taboo, it was.
Big girls were also purported to be mindlessly desperate, which was also a myth. They were too busy being societally traumatized (bludgeoned might be a better term) for what they were, to be desperate enough to date the true losers in school. Well, most of them, anyway. You did have an odd example, here and there.
The world's come a long way...I see big girls who have relationships and successful marriages and run successful businesses and are loved to death by the people closest to them in their lives. Certainly enough to make me tune out the odd voice here or there that's seemingly obsessed with what Society At Large values, bitching like they can actually do something about this, like it really matters in the end. 'Cuz it doesn't.
Let's not say all 20-somethings are shallow.
I'm 19, and it's things like this that anger me only because everyone things 19 year old girls are shallow, dim-witted, among other things, none good.
In my case, yeah, I can be picky when it comes to guys, but it's usually more personality-wise. I look for intelligence and a sense of humor, which are apparently traits that can't co-exist together in a human being. (I kid.)
I also think that there are people in general that are shallow. Age definitely probably plays a part, but I don't think gender does.
Girls have more pressure on them to look good from media and tv, etc, but I think a lot of girls are smart enough to ignore a lot of it. It's only a small portion of girls that actually take everything that's spoon-fed them through the media to heart.
Guys seem to have less pressure, but with all the metro-sexual hype, I think that pressure is increasing. Guys are now expected to not only be ridiculously built, but made-up as well.
Personally, I'd like to think I'm a bit more forgiving on a person's looks. Physical attractiveness is important, but it's not number one. And seeing as how I'm no super-model, I wouldn't expect a potential significant other to look like one either.
I'm 19, and it's things like this that anger me only because everyone things 19 year old girls are shallow, dim-witted, among other things, none good.
In my case, yeah, I can be picky when it comes to guys, but it's usually more personality-wise. I look for intelligence and a sense of humor, which are apparently traits that can't co-exist together in a human being. (I kid.)
I also think that there are people in general that are shallow. Age definitely probably plays a part, but I don't think gender does.
Girls have more pressure on them to look good from media and tv, etc, but I think a lot of girls are smart enough to ignore a lot of it. It's only a small portion of girls that actually take everything that's spoon-fed them through the media to heart.
Guys seem to have less pressure, but with all the metro-sexual hype, I think that pressure is increasing. Guys are now expected to not only be ridiculously built, but made-up as well.
Personally, I'd like to think I'm a bit more forgiving on a person's looks. Physical attractiveness is important, but it's not number one. And seeing as how I'm no super-model, I wouldn't expect a potential significant other to look like one either.
CaptainQuantum
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ticklishgiggle said:
Yeah well, the women could just do what I do: not pay any attention to what the media says cause I'm too lazy to try to look good. But if I ever win the lottery or something, I will only date movie stars and super models, because being seen with them carries the status befitting a rich guy.
I had a boyfriend once... average looking who thought he was hot stuff. The man couldn't pass by a reflective surface with out checking himself out and/or combing his hair.
I'd rather have personality and intelligence in my partner.
I'd rather have personality and intelligence in my partner.
hiltopoius
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dont judge a book by its cover
I agree with you steph, as you get older looks just dont matter ,its the personality and conversations with me that mostly matter
steph said:
I agree with you steph, as you get older looks just dont matter ,its the personality and conversations with me that mostly matter
CaptainQuantum
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ticklishgiggle said:
Depends what my goals are. If I was rich and my goal was to be seen with great looking women because that would carry the status befitting a rich person (which would be my goal in fact), then it wouldn't get me "nowhere". Also, if I was rich and my goal was to have physically attractive women "use" me for my money while I use them for their bodies, then it wouldn't get me "nowhere" it would get me to my goals. You only get "nowhere" if you fail to reach your goals whatever they may be.
