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The Four Cats

Mimi

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Wooo Hooo! Our very own joke and funnies forum! YAY! And I get to break the cherry! Yeehaw!



Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "Tsquare, do your stuff." Tsquare pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?". The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on
the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while
doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in
for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick
leave.


:jester: :jester: :jester: :jester: :jester:
 
An engineers joke

YEAH!! Much like the needed sports forum, we now have a HUMOR or JOKE forum.
Great Job!!
I knew it would all work out...and as my 1st entry of believe me MANY to come (I never posted that many jokes because I could have filled the ENTIRE General Discussion) so I hope you all enjoy...

Engineering In Hell

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
 
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