With all due respect to Chuck Norris
He recorded 5 tackles during the December 24th game between the Chargers and Broncos. Nobody is quite sure how.
He is the #1 cause of pain in the National Football League
He is the #2 cause of pain in Major League Baseball. (Randy Johnson fastball to the face remains at #1)
When he is inevitably on the cover of Madden football. He will not succumb to the famed madden curse. Instead, John Madden will be afflicted with the Patrick Willis curse. A fate worse than death.
Franklin Roosevelt once said, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself". He later added Patrick Willis to that list.
He plays football using only his sense of smell. The only thing Patrick Willis smells is fear.
He was originally drafted by the Houston Oilers in 1987 to be the center of their defense, but turned them down to go to preschool.
He once fought Mike Ditka in a cage match in the middle of the Amazon.....and won.
Tiki Barber retired last year so he wouldn't have to be hit by Patrick Willis. Willis tackled him anyway.
Patrick uses Shaun Alexander as his actual tackling dummy during practices.
During the San Francisco 49ers bye week this season, Willis tracked down and mercillously tackled each and every member of the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
At the age of 11, Patrick Willis taught Ray Lewis everything he knew. And Patrick Willis hadn't even played the game of football at that point.
During backyard games of football, Patrick doesn't play with a pigskin football. He uses an actual pig.
He is on the ballot for next years Hall of Fame class. Insiders say he is a shoo in.
Despite the 49ers poor record, Patrick Willis went undefeated this past year.
If Cyberdyne made a linebacker, it would probably be Patrick Willis.
Only Patrick Willis can prevent forest fires.
Patrick Willis arm wrestled Superman. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside.
When Deacon Jones goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet and under his bed for Patrick Willis
When Patrick Willis was at the combine, he finished the 40 yard dash before the sound of the gunshot reached anyone’s ears.
There’s a reason Mississippi is the heaviest state in the country, Patrick Willis, and his massive arms, went to college there.
When Gary Coleman was a boy, he said, “Whatchu talking bout Willis?” Patrick Willis did not allow him to grow any further, as punishment for his rudeness.
Patrick Willis was drafted by the 49ers. The 49ers used the 11th pick to get him. To this date, the 11th pick no longer exists in the NFL.
Patrick Willis reported to training camp, tackled every player, coach, and fan, and demanded the starting job.
It is a little known fact that Mike Singletary once babysat Patrick Willis when he was an infant. Singletary went on to become a Hall of Fame linebacker.
Patrick Willis was actually a twin, but even he isn’t sure what happened when he tackled his twin brother.
Patrick Willis doesn’t practice at all. Not because he doesn’t need practice to play at a high level, but because the coaches don’t want their own players to get injured.
The 49ers do not have a quarterback controversy, the quarterbacks are just scared to win the starting job because Patrick Willis will shake the hand of the winner.
Ricky Williams left the league in 2004, anticipating what would happen in 3 years, because Patrick Willis was a freshman at the University of Mississippi.
Patrick Willis would never get involved in dog fighting. He does all his fighting himself.
Patrick Willis has never put anyone on Injured Reserve. Patrick Willis only ends careers.
Ten teams passed on Patrick Willis in the 2007 NFL Draft. The whereabouts of those teams are currently unknown.
Patrick Willis once got a facemask penalty called on him because he used his own face mask to tackle a player.
Patrick Willis once intercepted a pass, on a running play.
Michael Vick's conditional reinstatement? It's not based on his behavior. Rather, it is based on if Commissioner Goodell thinks he can handle a Patrick Willis tackle.
Brett Favre could not wait to join the Vikings, until he found out who he faced Week 3
Although the 49ers play a 3-4, Patrick Willis prefers a 0-1
Patrick Willis once walked into an MLB clubhouse. All those players proceeded to test positive for performance enhancers.
Patrick Willis' interception last year was actually caused by a gravitational field that he causes every time he flexes.
Patrick Willis wears a helmet because its the rule everyone else does because of Patrick Willis
Shaun Hill never shaved his moustache...Patrick Willis pointed at Hill's face and growled...at which point Hill's moustache instantly fell off his lip.
The movie "Anaconda" was filmed entirely in Patrick Wills' pants.
Patrick Willis once taught a class called "Tackling 101". There were no survivors
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Patrick Willis
Alchemists say that PW's fingernails can be used to create a nuclear bomb.
Plaxico Burress only took a loaded gun into that club cause he heard PW would be there.
Micheal Vick was PW's lady while in prison.
Kurt Warner has a deathwish, that's why he refused to sign with us.
The Dept. of Defense has PW's number on speed dial.
there was no big bang... just Patrick Willis
Patrick Willis has been added to the process of the death penalty in California. They call it lethal outjection. While it is proven to be the quickest form Capitol Punishment, it is believed to be the most painful.
Patrick Willis once returned an interception and a fumble for a touchdown. On the same play.
Patrick Willis wasn't drafted 11th. He was drafted 1st twice.
Most people fear the reaper...Patrick Willis considers him a promising rookie
If at first you dont succeed ... your name is not Patrick Willis
2/3 of the Earth is covered by water . . . the other 1/3 is covered by Patrick Willis.
Patrick Willis once sacked the quarterback before the ball was snapped. He was not offsides.
Patrick Willis wears pads and a helmet because it is mandated by the league rules. Everyone else in the NFL wears pads and a helmet because of Patrick Willis.
Patrick Willis CAN believe it’s not butter.
Patrick Willis once returned a fumble and an interception for a touchdown on the same play.
Patrick Willis likes his eggs sunny side up, with salt, pepper, and ground wide receiver.
Patrick Willis has a photographic memory. He knows everyone’s number, in the entire world, by heart. He owns a phone book simply so he can rip it in half. With one hand.
Patrick Willis does not think that comparisons between himself and Ray Lewis are fair... to Ray Lewis.
It has been said that Barry Bonds once hit a homerun and the ball never landed. This is not true. The story has been confused with that of the time that Patrick Willis once hit a running back, who never landed.
<img src="http://orig.jacksonsun.com/photogallery/20061216patrickwillis/images/A-Willis_92506_AM.jpg">
He recorded 5 tackles during the December 24th game between the Chargers and Broncos. Nobody is quite sure how.
He is the #1 cause of pain in the National Football League
He is the #2 cause of pain in Major League Baseball. (Randy Johnson fastball to the face remains at #1)
When he is inevitably on the cover of Madden football. He will not succumb to the famed madden curse. Instead, John Madden will be afflicted with the Patrick Willis curse. A fate worse than death.
Franklin Roosevelt once said, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself". He later added Patrick Willis to that list.
He plays football using only his sense of smell. The only thing Patrick Willis smells is fear.
He was originally drafted by the Houston Oilers in 1987 to be the center of their defense, but turned them down to go to preschool.
He once fought Mike Ditka in a cage match in the middle of the Amazon.....and won.
Tiki Barber retired last year so he wouldn't have to be hit by Patrick Willis. Willis tackled him anyway.
Patrick uses Shaun Alexander as his actual tackling dummy during practices.
During the San Francisco 49ers bye week this season, Willis tracked down and mercillously tackled each and every member of the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
At the age of 11, Patrick Willis taught Ray Lewis everything he knew. And Patrick Willis hadn't even played the game of football at that point.
During backyard games of football, Patrick doesn't play with a pigskin football. He uses an actual pig.
He is on the ballot for next years Hall of Fame class. Insiders say he is a shoo in.
Despite the 49ers poor record, Patrick Willis went undefeated this past year.
If Cyberdyne made a linebacker, it would probably be Patrick Willis.
Only Patrick Willis can prevent forest fires.
Patrick Willis arm wrestled Superman. The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside.
When Deacon Jones goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet and under his bed for Patrick Willis
When Patrick Willis was at the combine, he finished the 40 yard dash before the sound of the gunshot reached anyone’s ears.
There’s a reason Mississippi is the heaviest state in the country, Patrick Willis, and his massive arms, went to college there.
When Gary Coleman was a boy, he said, “Whatchu talking bout Willis?” Patrick Willis did not allow him to grow any further, as punishment for his rudeness.
Patrick Willis was drafted by the 49ers. The 49ers used the 11th pick to get him. To this date, the 11th pick no longer exists in the NFL.
Patrick Willis reported to training camp, tackled every player, coach, and fan, and demanded the starting job.
It is a little known fact that Mike Singletary once babysat Patrick Willis when he was an infant. Singletary went on to become a Hall of Fame linebacker.
Patrick Willis was actually a twin, but even he isn’t sure what happened when he tackled his twin brother.
Patrick Willis doesn’t practice at all. Not because he doesn’t need practice to play at a high level, but because the coaches don’t want their own players to get injured.
The 49ers do not have a quarterback controversy, the quarterbacks are just scared to win the starting job because Patrick Willis will shake the hand of the winner.
Ricky Williams left the league in 2004, anticipating what would happen in 3 years, because Patrick Willis was a freshman at the University of Mississippi.
Patrick Willis would never get involved in dog fighting. He does all his fighting himself.
Patrick Willis has never put anyone on Injured Reserve. Patrick Willis only ends careers.
Ten teams passed on Patrick Willis in the 2007 NFL Draft. The whereabouts of those teams are currently unknown.
Patrick Willis once got a facemask penalty called on him because he used his own face mask to tackle a player.
Patrick Willis once intercepted a pass, on a running play.
Michael Vick's conditional reinstatement? It's not based on his behavior. Rather, it is based on if Commissioner Goodell thinks he can handle a Patrick Willis tackle.
Brett Favre could not wait to join the Vikings, until he found out who he faced Week 3
Although the 49ers play a 3-4, Patrick Willis prefers a 0-1
Patrick Willis once walked into an MLB clubhouse. All those players proceeded to test positive for performance enhancers.
Patrick Willis' interception last year was actually caused by a gravitational field that he causes every time he flexes.
Patrick Willis wears a helmet because its the rule everyone else does because of Patrick Willis
Shaun Hill never shaved his moustache...Patrick Willis pointed at Hill's face and growled...at which point Hill's moustache instantly fell off his lip.
The movie "Anaconda" was filmed entirely in Patrick Wills' pants.
Patrick Willis once taught a class called "Tackling 101". There were no survivors
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Patrick Willis
Alchemists say that PW's fingernails can be used to create a nuclear bomb.
Plaxico Burress only took a loaded gun into that club cause he heard PW would be there.
Micheal Vick was PW's lady while in prison.
Kurt Warner has a deathwish, that's why he refused to sign with us.
The Dept. of Defense has PW's number on speed dial.
there was no big bang... just Patrick Willis
Patrick Willis has been added to the process of the death penalty in California. They call it lethal outjection. While it is proven to be the quickest form Capitol Punishment, it is believed to be the most painful.
Patrick Willis once returned an interception and a fumble for a touchdown. On the same play.
Patrick Willis wasn't drafted 11th. He was drafted 1st twice.
Most people fear the reaper...Patrick Willis considers him a promising rookie
If at first you dont succeed ... your name is not Patrick Willis
2/3 of the Earth is covered by water . . . the other 1/3 is covered by Patrick Willis.
Patrick Willis once sacked the quarterback before the ball was snapped. He was not offsides.
Patrick Willis wears pads and a helmet because it is mandated by the league rules. Everyone else in the NFL wears pads and a helmet because of Patrick Willis.
Patrick Willis CAN believe it’s not butter.
Patrick Willis once returned a fumble and an interception for a touchdown on the same play.
Patrick Willis likes his eggs sunny side up, with salt, pepper, and ground wide receiver.
Patrick Willis has a photographic memory. He knows everyone’s number, in the entire world, by heart. He owns a phone book simply so he can rip it in half. With one hand.
Patrick Willis does not think that comparisons between himself and Ray Lewis are fair... to Ray Lewis.
It has been said that Barry Bonds once hit a homerun and the ball never landed. This is not true. The story has been confused with that of the time that Patrick Willis once hit a running back, who never landed.
<img src="http://orig.jacksonsun.com/photogallery/20061216patrickwillis/images/A-Willis_92506_AM.jpg">
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