The real laws of nature

[bellystrokes]

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Very amusing list. 😀

 

[Mastertank1]

just a few more.

TANJ (There Ain't No Justice)

TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch)

Murphy's Law Part B; When you have allowed for everything that can possibly go wrong, something that cannot possibly go wrong will go wrong.

Toast always falls butter side down; cats always land on their feet; therefore, attatching a slice of buttered toast, butter side up, to a cat's back and then dropping the cat will create both an antigravity device and a perpetual motion machine.

And remember, kids- 186,000 miles per second; It's not just a good idea, IT'S THE LAW! 😎

 

[venray]

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

All generalizations are false, including this one.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

 

[bellystrokes]

oh my god, you guys just make it all even better. Love em.

 

[Mastertank1]

A couple more;

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

It is fatal to underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Pot is God's way of saying; "HIGH!"

Murphy Slaw is finely shredded disaster with vinegar and mayo.

Take a Bite out of Crime. It tastes like Chicken.

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

If you can't feed'em don't breed'em.

A cowboy thinks 8 seconds is a good ride!

If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas!

I tried to contain myself but...I ESCAPED!

Out of my mind. Be back in 15 minutes.

Madness takes its toll, Please have exact change.

Some days it just isn't worth chewing through the straps.

I do everything my rice crispies tell me to.

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Archeologists will date any old thing.

Finally, most important of all:

It is as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

 

[bellystrokes]

And awesome again. heehehehe

Scary thing is, these are all true!!!!!

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Finally, most important of all:

It is as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

I KNEW IT!

 

[lespieds]

If all else fails - dig in the trash for the instructions.