The Strange Things People Say...

[Flatfoot]

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[desdemona]

Um..well, ok, not sure if this qualifies..but it was one of those moments that left me speechless (and in stitches after I left the room).

A client brings her little pomeranian puppy in and explains that he has been licking his "privates" since he was neutered. So I begin to check around male anatomy, and her son (8 or 9 years old I'd guess) suddenly says...You're a girl, you can't look at his penis! Mom, to her credit, did speak up and say that it was ok since I was a doctor. Looking back, I found it amusing that the little boy could use the anatomically correct term while mom had to call it something else.

 

[Mimi]

A friend of mine, who -claims- to be an extremely intelligent individual (we tend to beg to differ), was arguing with Lazarus a few weeks back about the purpose of daylight savings time. Lazarus was trying to explain about how it used to be for the benefit of farmers to give them an extra hour of daylight to work their fields. My friend was arguing this was not the case. "The earth travels around the sun in an eliptical motion, not circular, and because of that every year is a little shorter. Daylight savings time is necessary to balance out that little bit of time we lose each year while rotating the sun."

HUH??? 😕

Of course, that DID come from the same person who believes Dinosaurs became extinct because they were too big to fit on Noah's Ark, and were left behind to die in the great flood. 🙄

Mimi

 

[Limeoutsider]

Of course, that DID come from the same person who believes Dinosaurs became extinct because they were too big to fit on Noah's Ark, and were left behind to die in the great flood. 🙄

Mimi

ROFLMAO!


sometimes the funniest things arent meant to be jokes

 

[Mimi]

Sooo, even though we give the hour back in the Spring, it all balances out? 😛

According to her, apparently so! That's some serious swiss cheese logic going on there!

Mimi

 

[AffectionateDan]

Waitaminute...

...you were out HERE and didn't tell any of the West Coast gang you were coming? Oh MANNNNN!!!! HUGE bummer! We might've gotten a Munch or something together for you! Crap! 🙁

 

[Haltickling]

People say the strangest things when they're drunk. I remember walking a friend home from the bar one night, where he had a couple of beers (too many). Suddenly he started on a highly philosophical rant:

"What the heck is the sun for? Doesn't shine during the night, and during daytime, it's bright anyway!" DUH...

In vino veritas, in cervisia stupiditas! (kitchen latin) 😛

 

[steph]

This is interesting Mimi~I was told it was something put in place during the War (number II I think but I always sucked at history!) 🙂

XOXO

A friend of mine, who -claims- to be an extremely intelligent individual (we tend to beg to differ), was arguing with Lazarus a few weeks back about the purpose of daylight savings time. Lazarus was trying to explain about how it used to be for the benefit of farmers to give them an extra hour of daylight to work their fields. My friend was arguing this was not the case. "The earth travels around the sun in an eliptical motion, not circular, and because of that every year is a little shorter. Daylight savings time is necessary to balance out that little bit of time we lose each year while rotating the sun."

HUH??? 😕

Of course, that DID come from the same person who believes Dinosaurs became extinct because they were too big to fit on Noah's Ark, and were left behind to die in the great flood. 🙄

Mimi

 

[Knox The Hatter]

The following was the repartee between New York Yankees TV announcers Phil Rizzuto and Bill White, during a game on a hot, mucky, murky night at the Stadium back during the summer of 1987...

"Holy cow, White, what a miserably hot night."
"Sure is, Scooter."
"It's a good night for fishing."
"It is?"
"Sure. It's so hot that the fish gotta come up for air! Deep to center, Winfield's going back for it, back, back..."

 

[Knox The Hatter]

"Dead men don't give high-fives."
"Well, maybe they can, once rigor mortis sets in." -- a conversation between two Lance Corporals involved with Air Delivery after our return from a patrol awaiting a debrief.



This reminds me of an anecdote in one of Bruce Catton's immortal tomes about the Civil War. He testifies about a quiet, tired Union company marching at dusk through some old battlefield where the dead weren't buried too deeply, and the marching troops noticed a bony hand reaching through the earth, it's palm opened, with its fingers reaching for the sky. As they marched along, one wise ass reached down, and placed a hardtack cracker in between the fingers of the bony hand.

 

[lite]

Interesting thread, Flatfoot!

I worked with a woman who had this conversation with her husband; he hadn't felt well, so he went to the doctor:

She: What did the doctor say?

He: I have a staph infection. The doc gave me these antibiotics.

She: A staff infection? Does that mean everyone in your office has it? 🙂

 

[jugner]

Ever been ordering food through the drive-through and say "and I want that to go"

 

[tommytikl]

Ever been ordering food through the drive-through and say "and I want that to go"

I got that ALL the time when
I worked the drive-through at Dairy Queen!!!
You have no idea how many people pay for their food; get the change back; and then DRIVE OFF without the FOOD they paid for...USUALLY they would stop at the corner before driiving away...but not always...🙄 😕 😀

 

[steph]

I always love the people that point to my piercings and say "did that hurt?"
No, jackass, it was a f'ing party, having a 12 inch needle shoved thru my tongue and not being able to speak or eat for a week, I LOVED it....🙄
XOXO

 

[AffectionateDan]

I always love the people that point to my piercings and say "did that hurt?"
No, jackass, it was a f'ing party, having a 12 inch needle shoved thru my tongue and not being able to speak or eat for a week, I LOVED it....🙄
XOXO

LMAO!!!!!! I'm hearing Bill Engvall going, "Here's your sign." after that! Priceless!

 

[steph]

I KNEW you could relate to this one!!!

XOXO

 

[desdemona]

Top 10 Responses to "I'm Going to Vet School"

1. I heard that's harder to get into than med school. (You do the math...there are currently 28 vet schools in the US. Over 4000 students apply and they accept around 2500. I have no idea how many med school/applicants there are.)

2. Why don't you want to become a real doctor? (This is only second to my favorite - You must hate people....yeah, like the animals walk themselves in the door...two by two...by some miracle they find the place all right).

3. Is that a two year program? (Try six to eight if you're lucky!)

4. You must really love animals...(No...but I love people....Duh!)

5. I have this cat/dog/rabbit/guinea pig/horse/rat who... (Do you know how many questions you get if you even admit that you're a vet in public? Too many....)

6. I used to want to be a vet. (I'm guessing that was right after astronaut or singer/model/actor...and then the reality set in)

7. Wow, you're going to make a lot of money! (Um...yeah...right...and be incredible in debt, too)

8. Oh, I hate animals...(what do you say to that?!)

9. Veteran? You're in the army? (Or vegetarian? You don't eat meat?!)

10. A vet killed my dog once...(Only once? Do they have nine lives like a cat?)

 

[He-Man]

Daylight savings time is necessary to balance out that little bit of time we lose each year while rotating the sun."

Damnnn..the Earth rotates the sun? And here I thought we just orbited around it while the planet rotated. 😉

 

[Fastwalker]

Ever been ordering food through the drive-through and say "and I want that to go"

Yeah, I've done that.

 

[crydun]

Re: Interesting thread, Flatfoot!

I worked with a woman who had this conversation with her husband; he hadn't felt well, so he went to the doctor:

She: What did the doctor say?

He: I have a staph infection. The doc gave me these antibiotics.

She: A staff infection? Does that mean everyone in your office has it? 🙂

LOL😀

 

[crydun]

I got that ALL the time when
I worked the drive-through at Dairy Queen!!!
You have no idea how many people pay for their food; get the change back; and then DRIVE OFF without the FOOD they paid for...USUALLY they would stop at the corner before driiving away...but not always...🙄 😕 😀

LOL Tommy

 

[crydun]

LMAO!!!!!! I'm hearing Bill Engvall going, "Here's your sign." after that! Priceless!

me too!! Talk about funny. He cracks me up!!