Things you should never say to a Cop

[Texas_Tickle]

I was watching Jay Leno and I did not catch all of what he said, but I did catch a few...


Things you should never say to a Police Officer

1. Thanks, the other officer let me off with a warning, too.

2. Here's a $20....can we forget about this?

3. Is that gun **really* loaded?

4. Mind if I test drive your police car?

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

LOL those were funny TM, I also love it when Jay Leno shows real ad's that have a typo😀 those are funny too!

 

[Texas_Tickle]

LOL those were funny TM, I also love it when Jay Leno shows real ad's that have a typo😀 those are funny too!

One of Jay Leno's headlines that always stuck with me, was Christmas abou 2 years ago and a mall had an add in the newspaper, advertising the arrival of Santa, but instead the ad read "Parents, bring your kids to the mall so they can meet Satan".

Another headline told a story of a group of gay-right activists in a bus crash and the headline read "Gays get rear-ended".

By the way, welcome back Tracy.

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

One of Jay Leno's headlines that always stuck with me, was Christmas abou 2 years ago and a mall had an add in the newspaper, advertising the arrival of Santa, but instead the ad read "Parents, bring your kids to the mall so they can meet Satan".

Another headline told a story of a group of gay-right activists in a bus crash and the headline read "Gays get rear-ended".

By the way, welcome back Tracy.

Funny stuff! Thanks TM, I am glad to be back. I missed everyone! 🙂

 

[qjakal]

definite no-no's

"Hey, wipe the powdered sugar off before you lean on the car, willya?"

" Wow, a nightstick, gun AND coffee breath...you ARE deadly!"

" Crap, what a time to run out of nitrous for the turbocharger.."

 

[4Pawz]

I heard that 😛

Pawz

 

[General Zod]

How about "Bad cop No donut"? I saw a bumper sticker that said that a couple years ago

 

[asutickler]

"I knew I smelled bacon!"

"Heeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy... nice ASS!!!" (Unless you're a woman, and the cop is a guy. 😛 )

You: "That's a pretty bad case of Dunlap Disorder you've got there, officer!"

Cop: "Dunlap Disorder? What's that?"

You: "That's when your belly Dunlap over your gunbelt."

 

[Biggles of 266]

"I KNOW I was weaving officer, but I was trying to stop my pit-bull from spilling cocaine all over my assault rifle!"

 

[amk714]

Cop: Is that a radar detector?

You: Yes, but I think I need a new one, because it didn't catch this speed trap.

Great thread! 😀

 

[Haltickling]

I remember that a few friends and I drove by an accident when we were youngsters. The accident happened to be 3 patrol cars bumping into each other because the first one had breaked too hard.

My friend drove alongside and asked friendly: "Hey, shall I call the cops?" Then we hurried to get away... 😛

 

[amk714]

My friend drove alongside and asked friendly: "Hey, shall I call the cops?" Then we hurried to get away... 😛

Yep, that's definitely something you should never say to a cop! Luckily, the cops couldn't chase you, or you'd have been dead meat. That's a hilarious story, Hal, thanks! 😀

 

[qjakal]

More...

Got rid of some of the stupider (is that a word..?) ones....


5. What exactly is "legally drunk"?
6. So, what's a good bribe go for around here?

8. Okay, so I was speeding and I let you catch me - how about best of
three?

13. Speeding is an abstract concept, don't you think?

14. If I had known you were there I would never have been going that
fast!
15. What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?

16. There is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

17. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

20. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

21. Wanta race to the station, Sparky?

26. Come on write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

27. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!

28. Can I borrow that pen? Thanks, just wanna break it so ya can't
write me up!

29. Could ya leave me alone for a sec? I just want to finish this
beer.

32. No officer! That beer is Ralph's. No, he's sitting right there!
Don't ya see him?

33. Yes, officer I saw your flashing lights, but you didn't seem to
be catching me, so I assumed you were after someone else.

34. Hey, you must'a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good
job!
35. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

36. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.

37. Hi officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's
license?

38. You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high
school instead.

40. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.

41. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

42. Didn't I see you get beat up last week on "COPS"?

43. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.

44. (chant) Rodney King! Rodney King!

46. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us
does.

47. So, are you still a meany because your mamma didn't let you play
with your gun when you were little?

49. When you smack the heck outta me, make sure you smile pretty for
the video camcorder.

51. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Re: More...

Got rid of some of the stupider (is that a word..?) ones....


5. What exactly is "legally drunk"?
6. So, what's a good bribe go for around here?

8. Okay, so I was speeding and I let you catch me - how about best of
three?

13. Speeding is an abstract concept, don't you think?

14. If I had known you were there I would never have been going that
fast!
15. What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?

16. There is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

17. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

20. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

21. Wanta race to the station, Sparky?

26. Come on write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

27. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!

28. Can I borrow that pen? Thanks, just wanna break it so ya can't
write me up!

29. Could ya leave me alone for a sec? I just want to finish this
beer.

32. No officer! That beer is Ralph's. No, he's sitting right there!
Don't ya see him?

33. Yes, officer I saw your flashing lights, but you didn't seem to
be catching me, so I assumed you were after someone else.

34. Hey, you must'a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good
job!
35. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

36. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.

37. Hi officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's
license?

38. You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high
school instead.

40. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.

41. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

42. Didn't I see you get beat up last week on "COPS"?

43. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.

44. (chant) Rodney King! Rodney King!

46. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us
does.

47. So, are you still a meany because your mamma didn't let you play
with your gun when you were little?

49. When you smack the heck outta me, make sure you smile pretty for
the video camcorder.

51. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

I liked these even better Q! Thanks! 😀

 

[TickledToDeath]

I was watching Jay Leno and I did not catch all of what he said, but I did catch a few...


Things you should never say to a Police Officer

1. Thanks, the other officer let me off with a warning, too.

2. Here's a $20....can we forget about this?

3. Is that gun **really* loaded?

4. Mind if I test drive your police car?

LOL!

Ad this one in case you are pulled over by a Sheriff.


"Weeeellllll HOOOOOOOWDY Mister Rrrrrrricochet"!


TTD

 

[slacker2114]

Heheh...

I remember reading this one years ago and actually used it when I got pulled over on my way home from work at 3 in the morning....

Cop: Your eyes look bloodshot. Have you been drinking?

Me: Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?



Sure 'nuff won me a speeding ticket, but the look on the cop's face made it all worthwhile.

 

[Texas_Tickle]

Re: Heheh...

I remember reading this one years ago and actually used it when I got pulled over on my way home from work at 3 in the morning....

Cop: Your eyes look bloodshot. Have you been drinking?

Me: Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?



Sure 'nuff won me a speeding ticket, but the look on the cop's face made it all worthwhile.

I am suprised he did not write you another ticket for mouthing-off..

That was funny.

 

[CDFGA]

"Things you should never say to a Cop"


....Easy! ..."I ain't goin' to jail!"