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this poem turned out suuuper angry.

emilyemilyemily

1st Level Yellow Feather
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Jun 6, 2009
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act I

we meet.

i'm nervous, laughing too much, tripping over my words
because i've never met anyone quite like you.

your skin smells like salt and like the earth. you tell me
that you don't wear cologne because it gives you headaches.
your smell makes me smile, so i don't mind.

act II

we're lying in bed.

i'm okay with the silence that rises to greet us
as long as you're here.
you insist that we go somewhere,
get out for a bit, see the world,
because you didn't drive nine
goddamned hours to lie here
and do nothing for three days

but i dissent, and we eventually resolve
just to be. nothing makes me feel quite like
being here with you, even in white-hot silence.

act III

you're leaving.

i bury my face in your shoulder and
inhale your salty, earthy scent.
i weep openly, unembarrassed
although people are obviously staring at us.

with my face between your palms, i tell you
that this isn't over yet.

act IV

the end has come.

sighing, you tell me you wish
this hadn't happened.
you maintain that we never
should have been what we were.
both of us were far too fragile for this.

i agree.
 
Last edited:
I like how you divided it into different acts, it really adds to the narrative element of it.
 
This is really good emily! I can definitely identify with that sort of experience and it sucks.

Keep up the good work! You definitely have a talent for putting your thoughts into very meaningful poems. 🙂
 
Wow! I can't wait to see what life experiences you write poems about when you hit 30! Very nicely written.
 
You're forgetting act V, when things get better and you end up with just the good memories of the person you loved.

:twohugs:
 
Sad but nicely written, Emily. Always enjoy your poems... I'm sure you'll have happier things to write about eventually 🙂
 
Once I had a course called "History of the Sonnet" and thx to that course I've figured out that you shouldn't analyse or interpret a poem too extrem... cause that'll take all the beauty of a poem away!

And your poem is indeed beautiful! 🙂

Liked it.

🙂
 
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