Tickling replaced Sex?

[User12]

Hey, I'm new on the forum, but have been a "lurker" for some time. I would like to keep most of the details of my identity a secret, but I am in college and male.

I have come to ask a question. Have any of you ever noticed your fetish conquer your desire for sex? For as long as i can remember, the idea of "sex" or penetration in general, has never turned me on, and in fact slightly turns me off.Seeing a girls boobs or vagina also does nothing for me, and also seeing a girl a naked is also a bit of a turn off. Even kissing doesn't seem attractive to me. However, a girl in a bikini can drive me crazy, and the idea of tickling a girl is also very gratifying. I for one, masturbated to that very idea often. Cuddling and even the simple idea of physical contact turns me on as well, but nothing else. I am afraid that this will get me into trouble later in life. Have any of you ever noticed anything like this?

 

[TropicThunder]

Technically what you've described right there is the true definition of a fetish, which is basically something you require in order to get any sort of sexual gratification. I'm sure a lot of people on this forum can relate to that.

 

[maniactickler]

Well i prefer tickling over sex, but not by a huge margin.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Hey, I'm new on the forum, but have been a "lurker" for some time. I would like to keep most of the details of my identity a secret, but I am in college and male.

I have come to ask a question. Have any of you ever noticed your fetish conquer your desire for sex? For as long as i can remember, the idea of "sex" or penetration in general, has never turned me on, and in fact slightly turns me off.Seeing a girls boobs or vagina also does nothing for me, and also seeing a girl a naked is also a bit of a turn off. Even kissing doesn't seem attractive to me. However, a girl in a bikini can drive me crazy, and the idea of tickling a girl is also very gratifying. I for one, masturbated to that very idea often. Cuddling and even the simple idea of physical contact turns me on as well, but nothing else. I am afraid that this will get me into trouble later in life. Have any of you ever noticed anything like this?

I used to be exactly like that. But then my appreciation for sex asserted itself a little later, in my early twenties. Now that I'm an old man, in my mid twenties, no problems.

Mind you, if the sex is too plain, I might still become disinterested. It doesn't have to be some kind of wild, explicitly fetish activity, but if there isn't at least some kind of kinky energy underpinning the experience, might not do it for me.

 

[rhiannon]

Have any of you ever noticed anything like this?

No. Never. If I had to decide between sex and tickling, it would be sex any day.

What you are experiencing is a pathological strength fetish, and you might want to get a therapist, because as you said, sooner or later it will get you in trouble. There is no need to see a therapist as long as you are not literally suffering from it, but the probability that you will suffer in the future is very high. With it being as it is I don't see how you can have a relationship.

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

Hi USER 12

Crikey I thought I had just read something I had posted about myself (except for the nudity/boobs part - which do turn me on). This is even an ongoing issue in my current relationship. Thankfully there is such a thing as Viagara, which allows me to appear more interested in sex than I actually am.

Anyway relax and be true to yourself. Don't do what most of us older ones (pre-internet) have done over the years, mainly beat ourselves up about who we are.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Nothing is better than sex. Not even bacon.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

You're not alone. This topic has come up before and many of us have described how tickling and sex are fused for us. This means that any tickling is tantamount to someone doing something sexual to us (meaning that most of us find it very disturbing to be tickled by friends and family), but more importantly it means that many of us can't get turned on without tickling being involved. I personally become aroused by vanilla sex, but often it becomes boring unless tickling or some form of similar light domination is involved. This will inevitably lead to lots of trouble later in life with girlfriends and spouses who think that you don't want to have sex with them because of "something they did" or because "they're not attractive." One girlfriend I had was particularly insecure about her looks because she had been a bigger girl earlier in life. She was in shape when I dated her but in her mind she felt unattractive. So the fact that I had "trouble" in that area of our relationship was a sign to her that she just wasn't good enough. I dreaded going to bed with her because I knew it would lead to a fight, which is exactly the opposite of what you should feel when going to bed with a significant other.

Anyway, what's helped me is just becoming more comfortable with the idea of vanilla sex. As you get older sex will become de-mystified in your mind anyway. I'm pretty convinced that society and our parents mess us up when we're kids by making sex this big taboo, but ultimately, it's just sex. As you start to take a more clinical approach to sex, you might find something you appreciate about sex even when tickling isn't involved. Focus on those aspects and allow yourself to be turned on by the non-tickling parts of sex to the extent that you can. Don't worry about not being attracted to specific body parts or whatever. Just let yourself be aroused by what you ARE attracted to. And when you're with a girl you really like, you'll be aroused just by being with her anyway. It's not all T&A, even though at your age it probably still feels that way 🙂

Or find a girl who's just as into tickling as you are. That would be the perfect solution, wouldn't it? 🙂

 

[GQguy]

I used to be exactly like that. But then my appreciation for sex asserted itself a little later, in my early twenties. Now that I'm an old man, in my mid twenties, no problems.

Mind you, if the sex is too plain, I might still become disinterested. It doesn't have to be some kind of wild, explicitly fetish activity, but if there isn't at least some kind of kinky energy underpinning the experience, might not do it for me.

This used to be me too. man o man did it get me into trouble. But I slowly out grew it. One method was to "condition" myself to like normal sex. I swore off fetish videos for awhile and only "self loved" to mainstream porn. I also held back on the self love as well.....once a week to once every two weeks. This way when I did hook up I was ready to go! After getting over the hump of performance anxiety I can watch whatever I want and still be a great lover.

You're not alone. But this will cause you trouble. Especially in casual sexual encounters.

GQ

 

[Cokecan]

Personally, common-law marriage replaced sex for me.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Naw, for me, tickling can lead to sex, but never replace it.

 

[scopab2]

Nothing is better than sex. Not even bacon.

I'm afraid bacon is better.

No, I think that sex is great, its the tickling that is the foreplay... the dish before the main course

 

[yukio.san]

there's nothing wrong in liking tickling more than sex, unless it causes you problems and suffering. if you suffer for that than you should find a way to control it and change it. if you feel fine this way, what's the matter? 🙂

 

[Barney Stubble]

When you get into a relationship, you'll find how remarkably adaptive you are. If she's adaptive as well, you can definitely find some common ground. The important thing to remember is that her pleasure comes first, whatever you have to do to make that happen. Sometimes you need to get creative.

The bottom line is, you don't want to live in doubt or shame. There is nothing wrong with having this fetish. It's part of who you are. It's a big part of what makes you different from every Joe Missionary on the block. Don't let anybody tell you that you're a freak, or that you need therapy, or that you can't have a healthy relationship.

You're not. You don't. And you can.

 

[stockytickler]

In all honsety, the tickling I experienced last weekend essentially /was/ sex for me. It lasted on and off for days and got us both going on numerous occasions but while in terms of actual sex I only managed to bring him off once the entire time we were together (we both suffer to some extent from ED), I had more fun throughout than sex has ever been for me so ... as experiences go, that was AWESOME! 😀

 

[rhiannon]

When you get into a relationship, you'll find how remarkably adaptive you are. If she's adaptive as well, you can definitely find some common ground. The important thing to remember is that her pleasure comes first, whatever you have to do to make that happen. Sometimes you need to get creative.

I think the main problem here that a naked woman is kind of a turn off for him! I doubt that any girl would be able to deal with that, because there would ALWAYS be the feeling that it's them specifically. The good old "It's not you" has never worked and will never work. Every woman wants to feel wanted, and that won't happen in the state of mind he seems to be in.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

I think the main problem here that a naked woman is kind of a turn off for him! I doubt that any girl would be able to deal with that, because there would ALWAYS be the feeling that it's them specifically. The good old "It's not you" has never worked and will never work. Every woman wants to feel wanted, and that won't happen in the state of mind he seems to be in.

I think you're right about how the girl will feel in this situation. But I did notice that the OP said that he is attracted to girls in bikinis or whatever, just not girls when they're totally naked. So in my opinion, if he's just saying that he doesn't find female nipples or the vaginal area sexually arousing but otherwise finds the female form and figure arousing, I don't think he's in THAT much trouble. It wouldn't be hard for him to just focus on the things that he's attracted to on a girl and letting himself be turned on that way. Also, once he finds a girl he likes, she'll be all the more attractive to him because of the emotional connection the two will have and that will help him out too in the arousal department.

 

[TB1024]

I can kind of relate to what this guy is describing. I find cleavage attractive, stomach, short shorts and mini skirts are attractive (show off legs), but I've never really been attracted to a girls nipples or vagina. To me, nipples have always looked kind of weird.

 

[Knudus2]

Hey, I'm new on the forum, but have been a "lurker" for some time. I would like to keep most of the details of my identity a secret, but I am in college and male.

I have come to ask a question. Have any of you ever noticed your fetish conquer your desire for sex? For as long as i can remember, the idea of "sex" or penetration in general, has never turned me on, and in fact slightly turns me off.Seeing a girls boobs or vagina also does nothing for me, and also seeing a girl a naked is also a bit of a turn off. Even kissing doesn't seem attractive to me. However, a girl in a bikini can drive me crazy, and the idea of tickling a girl is also very gratifying. I for one, masturbated to that very idea often. Cuddling and even the simple idea of physical contact turns me on as well, but nothing else. I am afraid that this will get me into trouble later in life. Have any of you ever noticed anything like this?

In some periods the fetish can seem more important than the sexual desire that sparked it in the first place. But to be very honest (and hopefully helpfull) this does not seem a case of "fetish conquer your desire for sex?" but a case of someone not beeing intrested in sex and using tickling as an alternative. If this continues then I suggest you seek profesionell help. Not because your desires are "wrong" in any moral sense of the word, but because I beleive you will get a richer life.

 

[TB1024]

Am I the only guy on this forum that's never been into regular porn? I've never been interested in watching anybody have any type of sex at all. It just turns me off, I think its kinda gross.

I love having sex with girls though. Just don't like porn.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

Am I the only guy on this forum that's never been into regular porn? I've never been interested in watching anybody have any type of sex at all. It just turns me off, I think its kinda gross.

I love having sex with girls though. Just don't like porn.

Same with me. I'm all for having sex with women, but it doesn't turn me on to watch other people have sex with women. Guys like us seem to be in the minority of men overall.

 

[Ayla ny]

These are the threads that made me fall in love with this forum. We can all relate to varying degrees and I love to see the folks who have "been there" helping the ones who are trying to figure it out.

I will never again have sex without tickling and know for a fact that it would just not work without it. Kind of the opposite for me. When I didn't know what I was missing... well, I didn't know. Now I know. No going back.

 

[Sandrock74]

Doesn't like to see girls naked, but better in bikinis? Sounds like a Never Nude to me! There are dozens of them. Dozens!

Actually, that mindset does sound like an outright fetish. I would think that would be awkward for any women he'd want to be with, long term. I'm no expert, but would sex therapy be a thing to look into?

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Doesn't like to see girls naked, but better in bikinis? Sounds like a Never Nude to me! There are dozens of them. Dozens!

Actually, that mindset does sound like an outright fetish. I would think that would be awkward for any women he'd want to be with, long term. I'm no expert, but would sex therapy be a thing to look into?

This made me lol. But in all seriousness, yes. Therapy. It'll be awkward otherwise I would think. 🙁

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

Oh come on. This kid doesn't need "therapy." This reminds me of a thread where some dude was talking about how he couldn't get it up for five minutes and everyone was like "get to a doctor --- now!" Sometimes I just think people are so bored that they are trying to create excitement in their lives with the advice that they give to people.

OP, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need to go to therapy any more than the rest of us do. You like what you like. You'll probably never be Porn God Rod Jeremy if you're not attracted to T&A. But that's okay. Just find yourself a girl that you like, and that you're attracted to, and that is open to your tickling fetish, and the rest will work itself out.