Timewarp
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
- Messages
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CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY CANDY......oh who doesn't like candy? What's your favorite? Lollypops? Chocolate? Kisses?.....
Well save it. I'm not here to talk about what you like or what I like. In fact if you've been following my chronological postings...you probably know where i'm going...ladies.
Anyway, it's not like I have anything against candy in general, it's just that there are some I hate and those who I hate who eat things I hate. I just question what goes through their head when they bite into the nastiest things I'd never eat. "Boy I sure like eating crap". Yeah.
I list now the biggest offenders in the candy universe which I'll discuss in detail...or "metail".
1. White Chocolate
2. Candy Corn
3. Tootsie pops
4. Candy hearts
5. That hard candy that breaks your teeth
6. Circus peanuts
7. Trail mix
8. Candy in the heart package.
9. Medicine
1. White Chocolate: I like chocolate, love it. Put it on anything, yum. White chocolate is like Chocolate's retarded cousin. It is in no way connected or taste anything close to real chcolate. Yet it tries so hard to be like chocolate , it's not. If you ever eat a white chocolate bar, I feel sorry for you.
2. Candy Corn: Okay I might have to quote Lewis Black on this one, "Corn that tast like candy, I can't wait. SON OF A BITCH". I wonder, who is still making candy corn and better yet, who is it being marketed too? If you give this to a kid, they'll think you're punishing them. If you eat it yourself, you'll lick your couch trying to get the taste out of your mouth. Yet if you serve it as a side dish at a party, two things will happen. 1. No one will eat it and 2. You won't throw it away. Save it for next year.
3. Tootsie pops: Okay...I lied, I don't like chocolate in everything, some combos leave me cold, like tootsie pops. I mean don't get me wrong, I like pops, but the sharp contrast in taste is terrible. I'm enjoying the rich sweet taste of artifical fruit, then you taste the chocolate and I go, "Damn, now it taste like s***. It was good while it last". I'll stick with bubble gum pops, at least it's constant.
4. Candy Hearts: As much as a sweet tasting tums sounds to me, I don't really eat these things all to often. Hard, chalky, and covered in powder, it's the quint essential of coffee after a few days, but without the robust taste. I like how they print meesages on them. It's so sad to see someone getting those chalk parts for a Valentine. "Yeah, that's something I would say".
5. That hard candy that breaks your teeth: I know that's vauge, I can't remember the real name, not that I would like to. This candy starts out like a brick of steel and sucks in teeth like quicksand. When I first bit into one, It felt like someone just played a cruel joke. My teeth were in pain for a while then I threw the candy away, it broke in half.
6. Circus peanuts: Come on, what the hell are those things made of? Orange and broken dreams? No wonder why they come in a value pack, 2 for 99 cents. I tell you i've spent better money on a cheap cheeseburger than 2 of those soggy nuts.
7. Trail mix: Mix one part candy goodness with 100 parts pretzels, cheezits, almonds, things I can't recongnize and you get one disgruntled sweet tooth. I end up spending most of the time look for the candy while getting covered in salt and grease. What a dissapointing snack.
8. Candy in Heart packages: I don't really like candies in those packages. It's never just all chocolate or all sweet fruits. It's just random and mixed up. Like 26% is goodness, 59% is dissapointment and 15% just plain awful. When you pick on out of the box, you just don't know what you're going to get. If it's plain chocolate with nuts, great. If it's toothpaste...bad.
9. Medicine: Not techniqually candy but it's so much of an immitater, it bears mentioning. Could medicine be anymore nasty when added with a poor excuse of a flavor? Like Nyquil, if you have to choose between flavors, choose cherry. It's the least painful. Which reinforces my steriotype that if something is good for you, it taste like s***.
hmmm....I like my older rants....more time consuming and done at night. Guess this will have to do. Oh and if you got committs....meh maybe i'll be nice and respond politly...but probably I'll give you taste of the ol' sharp tongue whip.
Well save it. I'm not here to talk about what you like or what I like. In fact if you've been following my chronological postings...you probably know where i'm going...ladies.
Anyway, it's not like I have anything against candy in general, it's just that there are some I hate and those who I hate who eat things I hate. I just question what goes through their head when they bite into the nastiest things I'd never eat. "Boy I sure like eating crap". Yeah.
I list now the biggest offenders in the candy universe which I'll discuss in detail...or "metail".
1. White Chocolate
2. Candy Corn
3. Tootsie pops
4. Candy hearts
5. That hard candy that breaks your teeth
6. Circus peanuts
7. Trail mix
8. Candy in the heart package.
9. Medicine
1. White Chocolate: I like chocolate, love it. Put it on anything, yum. White chocolate is like Chocolate's retarded cousin. It is in no way connected or taste anything close to real chcolate. Yet it tries so hard to be like chocolate , it's not. If you ever eat a white chocolate bar, I feel sorry for you.
2. Candy Corn: Okay I might have to quote Lewis Black on this one, "Corn that tast like candy, I can't wait. SON OF A BITCH". I wonder, who is still making candy corn and better yet, who is it being marketed too? If you give this to a kid, they'll think you're punishing them. If you eat it yourself, you'll lick your couch trying to get the taste out of your mouth. Yet if you serve it as a side dish at a party, two things will happen. 1. No one will eat it and 2. You won't throw it away. Save it for next year.
3. Tootsie pops: Okay...I lied, I don't like chocolate in everything, some combos leave me cold, like tootsie pops. I mean don't get me wrong, I like pops, but the sharp contrast in taste is terrible. I'm enjoying the rich sweet taste of artifical fruit, then you taste the chocolate and I go, "Damn, now it taste like s***. It was good while it last". I'll stick with bubble gum pops, at least it's constant.
4. Candy Hearts: As much as a sweet tasting tums sounds to me, I don't really eat these things all to often. Hard, chalky, and covered in powder, it's the quint essential of coffee after a few days, but without the robust taste. I like how they print meesages on them. It's so sad to see someone getting those chalk parts for a Valentine. "Yeah, that's something I would say".
5. That hard candy that breaks your teeth: I know that's vauge, I can't remember the real name, not that I would like to. This candy starts out like a brick of steel and sucks in teeth like quicksand. When I first bit into one, It felt like someone just played a cruel joke. My teeth were in pain for a while then I threw the candy away, it broke in half.
6. Circus peanuts: Come on, what the hell are those things made of? Orange and broken dreams? No wonder why they come in a value pack, 2 for 99 cents. I tell you i've spent better money on a cheap cheeseburger than 2 of those soggy nuts.
7. Trail mix: Mix one part candy goodness with 100 parts pretzels, cheezits, almonds, things I can't recongnize and you get one disgruntled sweet tooth. I end up spending most of the time look for the candy while getting covered in salt and grease. What a dissapointing snack.
8. Candy in Heart packages: I don't really like candies in those packages. It's never just all chocolate or all sweet fruits. It's just random and mixed up. Like 26% is goodness, 59% is dissapointment and 15% just plain awful. When you pick on out of the box, you just don't know what you're going to get. If it's plain chocolate with nuts, great. If it's toothpaste...bad.
9. Medicine: Not techniqually candy but it's so much of an immitater, it bears mentioning. Could medicine be anymore nasty when added with a poor excuse of a flavor? Like Nyquil, if you have to choose between flavors, choose cherry. It's the least painful. Which reinforces my steriotype that if something is good for you, it taste like s***.
hmmm....I like my older rants....more time consuming and done at night. Guess this will have to do. Oh and if you got committs....meh maybe i'll be nice and respond politly...but probably I'll give you taste of the ol' sharp tongue whip.
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