Timewarp
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
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Timewarp's Rant Series: 17 Cereal
Yeah....I know I said I needed a vote for the next rant. But I guess like real voting, the turnout was disappointing low... Meh...some ideas are worst than others I guess. Oh well, I got something to fill in the gap anyway. Enjoy.
erhemm... alright then...
So anyway...I haven't really enjoyed a good bowl in a while but recently I bought some cocopuffs (Yeah I like kid cereal). And I was just thinking. Cereal logic to me just seems to have a lot of bs logic behind it. I mean i've never thought about before when I was a kid. I was to busy eating cereal. But now that i'm older, it just pisses me off. I can't even look at a single box anymore without thinking..."That is complete BS". Reasons, reasons reasons.
1. Pricing: Cereal has seem to gotten more expensive than when I was growing up. It's almost become a luxury in my household than a necessity. I mean milk alone is just barely $3.00 and cereal ranges from $4.00 to $7.00 which means I can pay anywhere between $7.00 -$10.00. Which is complete bs cause I can buy 3 days worth of sandwich items for that much.
2. Brands: oh you know we all have our favorites and our loathes but at this point I can't tell the difference between cereal anymore. I mean what is the difference between Frosted flakes and regular flakes? I could add my own sugar and they would be pretty much identical. Add rasins, rasin brand. What is the difference between corn flakes and good start? Even worse than the similarities are just the complete ripoffs. Like coco puffs and coco balls. One's more expensive but less puffs and one's more and cheaper but not generally advertised. In general I really don't eat items that haven't been in an ad but when you don't have much it just makes you feel cheap when you get an off brand.
3. Marketing: If cereal has taught me one thing, there is just an evil overtone in all cereal commercials and on the boxes them selfs. Think about it. Take Lucky charms for example. A typical commercial consist of these kids chasing Lucky the Leprechaun, catching him and then eating the cereal while Lucky escapes. ...I find something wrong with these commercials. I mean there is no such thing as real magic, leprechauns, or free cereal for that matter. So what exactly are these commercials teaching children? I know
1. How to stalk strangers who have something you want.
2. How to work as a gang
3. Stealing
4. Holding people for ransom
5. Using heavy mining equipment in a dangerous fashion.
6. Breaking and entering.
7. Uhhh...taunting and fear techniques
I mean really. Should Lucky really be chased by kids almost everyday? I think if this happened to me I would get a couple restraining orders, home security, and guns. If it isn't enough that cereal promotes such disregard for order and law, the kids in all these commercials are spoiled and politically correct.
In every commercial there are only three kid-archtypes. The black kid, the white boy and the girl. It annoys me, especially since in Cal, Mexicans rule the landscape. Now in every commercial, these kids are putting so much planning and effort to achieve something that they can just pay $4.00 dollars at the store. It seems like a waste of time and resources.
Speaking of mean kids, why are those kids always so mean to that rabbit? Trix aren't just for kids, they're for the kids that beg their parents to buy. So why do the kids always take away his Trix when he gets it? I mean it has gotten so bad, the poor rabbit has to result to stealing and trickery to hold the cereal for only a few fleeting moments. But what makes me even more pissed, why doesn't the rabbit just buy some? Are the shopkeepers that racists to non-humans? I think if I saw a walking, talking rabbit he could take the cereal and all the tacos he could want. BS!
4. Box art: Yeah, I'm that attentive to detail. So why are there so many box arts of cereal with the characters looking very evil like? Take Lucky Charms...again. He's hovering over a bowl, looking downward with an outstretch hand and, strangely a shadow on his forehead and eyes. It looks like he's about to say, "That cereal you ate...I filled with POISON!!! HAHAHA...that's for all those years you chased me and stoled my cereal. Well who's the fellow who needs lucky charms now?!". It's as if each art designer was at his last day in their office and decided to leave cryptic messages on their boxes to their inevitable impending doom.
5. Cereal prizes and back cover fun: Nothing on the back is ever new...EVER! There's always going to be a maze, there will always be a scrambled word, and there will always be a frggin find the something puzzle. I mean I know it's for kids but how long before even kids start asking for new content?
Remember when cereal came with prizes inside. I mean for $4-$7, there should be some cheap gimmick to extend a cereal's life. But do we even have that anymore? No. Now you've got to send in Boxtops or "proof of purchases" plus money. Are you shitting me? I already payed an outrageous price for one cereal. Now I have to buy two to three AND a few more bucks just for something that is worth 5% of what I spent? That is just ass a nine.
What about those boxtops for sponsoring schools? Those aren't worth it either. Each top is worth a dime or a nickel. And it says you have to get everyone in the school to do this in order to even have a donation...I mean come on. You make 5 dollars per cereal, could it kill these corn shaking makers to throw society more of a bone than 10 cents on the dollar for each box top? Fuck that.
6. Commercials for cereals: Alright I already spent most my gripes on marketing alone but I have more. Every commercial is just an embarrassment to watch. I mean you've already heard about the kids and the mascots. But even the logos and messages are just ridiculous. Take Recess Puffs. When it was introduced a long while back, yeah I couldn't believe I wasn't eating candy for breakfast either. But now it has been a few years and I think by now we all know it's not candy. But why are they still marketing this phrase? Who hasn't heard of this by now? I bet you can ask people on a deserted island, "I just had recess for breakfast". Even they would be like, "Dude we know. We got a whole shipment from a wreck almost 2 years ago. We're actually sick of it".
How about Frosted Flakes? Yeah, they are grrrrrrreat! But do people who eat them really play sports or work out? I'm pretty sure raisin brand, with 2 scoops of raisins would be a lot more healthier for a diet than frosted flakes.
Finally why does each cartoon for these commercials seem even bad for kid standards. Take Honey-nut cheerios. Every commercial seems like a list of "things that don't happen" and "you shouldn't do". Like the one where they raise a mommy from a grave cause they pressed a button. Hell one of them says, "A mommy will rise if you press this button". Of course he presses it, bees don't have brains anyway. Now the mommy is not really evil, he just want some honey. So what do the bees do? They kill the fuck out of him. What the fuck? Even the dead cannot enjoy one last earthly joy?
7. Finally, the Kid Stigma: I can buy cereal, kid or adult without a second thought. What I don't get is why some people will refused to even acknowledge they eat kid cereal despite how good it is. How can anyone be that ashamed to admit they like to eat sugar with their flakes? Is their someone in their life that will lose all respect for them if they get a Captin Crunch or a Golden Crisp? That's just sad.
.....okay...that's my rant. Maybe next weak i'll try that poll vote rant but I don't promise something...
Commits come after i'm done talking...
......
......
......
Done.
(Oh by the way, Construction is done. I just can't take the title out of my thread so post away).
Yeah....I know I said I needed a vote for the next rant. But I guess like real voting, the turnout was disappointing low... Meh...some ideas are worst than others I guess. Oh well, I got something to fill in the gap anyway. Enjoy.
erhemm... alright then...
So anyway...I haven't really enjoyed a good bowl in a while but recently I bought some cocopuffs (Yeah I like kid cereal). And I was just thinking. Cereal logic to me just seems to have a lot of bs logic behind it. I mean i've never thought about before when I was a kid. I was to busy eating cereal. But now that i'm older, it just pisses me off. I can't even look at a single box anymore without thinking..."That is complete BS". Reasons, reasons reasons.
1. Pricing: Cereal has seem to gotten more expensive than when I was growing up. It's almost become a luxury in my household than a necessity. I mean milk alone is just barely $3.00 and cereal ranges from $4.00 to $7.00 which means I can pay anywhere between $7.00 -$10.00. Which is complete bs cause I can buy 3 days worth of sandwich items for that much.
2. Brands: oh you know we all have our favorites and our loathes but at this point I can't tell the difference between cereal anymore. I mean what is the difference between Frosted flakes and regular flakes? I could add my own sugar and they would be pretty much identical. Add rasins, rasin brand. What is the difference between corn flakes and good start? Even worse than the similarities are just the complete ripoffs. Like coco puffs and coco balls. One's more expensive but less puffs and one's more and cheaper but not generally advertised. In general I really don't eat items that haven't been in an ad but when you don't have much it just makes you feel cheap when you get an off brand.
3. Marketing: If cereal has taught me one thing, there is just an evil overtone in all cereal commercials and on the boxes them selfs. Think about it. Take Lucky charms for example. A typical commercial consist of these kids chasing Lucky the Leprechaun, catching him and then eating the cereal while Lucky escapes. ...I find something wrong with these commercials. I mean there is no such thing as real magic, leprechauns, or free cereal for that matter. So what exactly are these commercials teaching children? I know
1. How to stalk strangers who have something you want.
2. How to work as a gang
3. Stealing
4. Holding people for ransom
5. Using heavy mining equipment in a dangerous fashion.
6. Breaking and entering.
7. Uhhh...taunting and fear techniques
I mean really. Should Lucky really be chased by kids almost everyday? I think if this happened to me I would get a couple restraining orders, home security, and guns. If it isn't enough that cereal promotes such disregard for order and law, the kids in all these commercials are spoiled and politically correct.
In every commercial there are only three kid-archtypes. The black kid, the white boy and the girl. It annoys me, especially since in Cal, Mexicans rule the landscape. Now in every commercial, these kids are putting so much planning and effort to achieve something that they can just pay $4.00 dollars at the store. It seems like a waste of time and resources.
Speaking of mean kids, why are those kids always so mean to that rabbit? Trix aren't just for kids, they're for the kids that beg their parents to buy. So why do the kids always take away his Trix when he gets it? I mean it has gotten so bad, the poor rabbit has to result to stealing and trickery to hold the cereal for only a few fleeting moments. But what makes me even more pissed, why doesn't the rabbit just buy some? Are the shopkeepers that racists to non-humans? I think if I saw a walking, talking rabbit he could take the cereal and all the tacos he could want. BS!
4. Box art: Yeah, I'm that attentive to detail. So why are there so many box arts of cereal with the characters looking very evil like? Take Lucky Charms...again. He's hovering over a bowl, looking downward with an outstretch hand and, strangely a shadow on his forehead and eyes. It looks like he's about to say, "That cereal you ate...I filled with POISON!!! HAHAHA...that's for all those years you chased me and stoled my cereal. Well who's the fellow who needs lucky charms now?!". It's as if each art designer was at his last day in their office and decided to leave cryptic messages on their boxes to their inevitable impending doom.
5. Cereal prizes and back cover fun: Nothing on the back is ever new...EVER! There's always going to be a maze, there will always be a scrambled word, and there will always be a frggin find the something puzzle. I mean I know it's for kids but how long before even kids start asking for new content?
Remember when cereal came with prizes inside. I mean for $4-$7, there should be some cheap gimmick to extend a cereal's life. But do we even have that anymore? No. Now you've got to send in Boxtops or "proof of purchases" plus money. Are you shitting me? I already payed an outrageous price for one cereal. Now I have to buy two to three AND a few more bucks just for something that is worth 5% of what I spent? That is just ass a nine.
What about those boxtops for sponsoring schools? Those aren't worth it either. Each top is worth a dime or a nickel. And it says you have to get everyone in the school to do this in order to even have a donation...I mean come on. You make 5 dollars per cereal, could it kill these corn shaking makers to throw society more of a bone than 10 cents on the dollar for each box top? Fuck that.
6. Commercials for cereals: Alright I already spent most my gripes on marketing alone but I have more. Every commercial is just an embarrassment to watch. I mean you've already heard about the kids and the mascots. But even the logos and messages are just ridiculous. Take Recess Puffs. When it was introduced a long while back, yeah I couldn't believe I wasn't eating candy for breakfast either. But now it has been a few years and I think by now we all know it's not candy. But why are they still marketing this phrase? Who hasn't heard of this by now? I bet you can ask people on a deserted island, "I just had recess for breakfast". Even they would be like, "Dude we know. We got a whole shipment from a wreck almost 2 years ago. We're actually sick of it".
How about Frosted Flakes? Yeah, they are grrrrrrreat! But do people who eat them really play sports or work out? I'm pretty sure raisin brand, with 2 scoops of raisins would be a lot more healthier for a diet than frosted flakes.
Finally why does each cartoon for these commercials seem even bad for kid standards. Take Honey-nut cheerios. Every commercial seems like a list of "things that don't happen" and "you shouldn't do". Like the one where they raise a mommy from a grave cause they pressed a button. Hell one of them says, "A mommy will rise if you press this button". Of course he presses it, bees don't have brains anyway. Now the mommy is not really evil, he just want some honey. So what do the bees do? They kill the fuck out of him. What the fuck? Even the dead cannot enjoy one last earthly joy?
7. Finally, the Kid Stigma: I can buy cereal, kid or adult without a second thought. What I don't get is why some people will refused to even acknowledge they eat kid cereal despite how good it is. How can anyone be that ashamed to admit they like to eat sugar with their flakes? Is their someone in their life that will lose all respect for them if they get a Captin Crunch or a Golden Crisp? That's just sad.
.....okay...that's my rant. Maybe next weak i'll try that poll vote rant but I don't promise something...
Commits come after i'm done talking...
......
......
......
Done.
(Oh by the way, Construction is done. I just can't take the title out of my thread so post away).
Last edited:
