Top 16 Police Comments

[Illtcklu]

>>#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you
>>just went through."
>>
>>#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
>>stretch after you wear them a while."
>>
>># 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
>>certificate a worthless document."
>>
>>#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>>
>>#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's
>>the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
>>
>>#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I
>>can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
>>
>>#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
>>think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
>>
>>#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
>>that again or I'll give you another ticket."
>>
>>#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
>>drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>>
>>#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
>>go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in
>>monkey poop."
>>
>>#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
>>toaster oven."
>>
>>#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>>
>>#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
>>
>>#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
>>allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
>>
>>#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
>>friend of yours.. So you know someone who can post your bail." 😉
>>
>>AND THE WINNER IS....
>>#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
>>don't. Sign here."

 

[Haltickling]

Yes, English-speaking cops have their own kind of humor. When I was caught speeding on a highway near Melbourne, Australia, the cop threw a glance on my driver's license and noticed I was German. Dryly, he commented: "German cars surely have breaks, too, don't they?"

But as I was acting demurely, he gave me a hint: "You have two weeks to pay the ticket (160 AUS$). Will you leave the country by then?" I said yes. "If you don't pay the ticket, you won't be allowed to drive a car in Australia for a year. So, if you don't return within this time span, you won't have to pay at all..." Tipped his helmet, and drove off.

Sadly, German cops have no humor at all!

 

[Illtcklu]

If they yodeled after they pulled you over would certainly be a step in the right direction. Damn humorless German cops!

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny list. 😀