In honor of my 1500th post and promotion to 3rd level red feather, I thought I'd post my personal favorite of all the Top Ten lists contrived by my own circle of deviants and misfits. So without further adieu, here are the Top Ten Lost Three Stooges Episodes:
10) Cruizin' Stooges - Our three boys get lost on their way to a night janitor stint and end up in a leather bar. Moe is beside himself with frustration as he tries every punch, poke, kick and slap he knows to ward off the patrons, and only succeeds in becoming the most popular guy there.
9) Three Macs and Some Crack - The Stooges play three incompetent crack dealers who go door to door selling their wares. Trouble ensues when they knock on the door of the Chief of Police (played by Vernon Dent) who busted them earlier in a sting operation.
8) Curly's a Girly - Our favorite Stooge goes into the hospital for a troublesome goiter operation but due to a zany surgical mix-up, Curly comes out of the operating room with a serious hankerin' for some Moe!
7) Moprah - Larry writes a tell-all book and appears with Curly and Moe on a talk show known for its pathetic, self-pitying, loud-mouth guests who blame everyone else for their own problems. Moe secretly places an order from a local bakery and the stage soon becomes Banana Cream Pie City.
6) Das Stooge - The Stooges stow away on an airplane and end up in Berlin, where Moe is mistaken for Hitler and takes charge of that office while the real Hitler is away on vacation. Soon thereafter, the German armies are decimated in a string of darkly hilarious battles because their rifles have been replaced with seltzer bottles and ice tongs.
5) Shemp's Hemp - That stringy haired Stooge adopts an infatuation for Cannibis. While at a fancy-shmancy restaurant, Shemp gets the munchies, and makes the oftime fatal mistake of taking food off of Moe's plate. Moe of course flings a well aimed fork which sticks in Shemp's head with a perfunctory sound effect.
4) Angst In the Pants - The Stooges are released from jail after several years of incarceration for destruction of private preperty due to their bumbling antics. Feeling rather randy, they are caught propositioning a trio of hookers whom they of course refer to as "dames." The boys are hauled off to jail again but not before their carnal tensions are relieved in a scene that is a bit too graphic to describe. Suffice to say that the scene included a makeshift plywood pillary, some rope and three sets of ben-wa balls.
3) Meetcha at Neitzche's - The Stooges are having a dark and somber conversation with Frederick Neitzche about the nothingness of life and how life exists just for man to die. Moe was expounding about how the essence of man is evil but that man struggles to be good. Larry was insisting that the essence of man is good but with a propensity to do evil. Curly, of course, hits them all in the face with several Banana Creme Pies!
2) Stooge Trek - The trio is abducted by a spaceship, where a pointy-eared First Officer locks them all in a cell with three phasers set to stun. With tears in his eyes, he explains to his captain, between fits of reluctant laughter, "The bumbling accidents and vengeful reciprocations of these twentieth century humans is really quite hysterical, Captain."
1) Shemp Fiction - Shemp goes berserk after being humiliated once again by Moe. He overpowers Moe,strips his clothes, ties him up and "brutalizes" him for hours, the whole time screaming, "Why you oughtta what, fuck boy?!? Huh?! YOU OUGHTTA WHAT??!!!"
10) Cruizin' Stooges - Our three boys get lost on their way to a night janitor stint and end up in a leather bar. Moe is beside himself with frustration as he tries every punch, poke, kick and slap he knows to ward off the patrons, and only succeeds in becoming the most popular guy there.
9) Three Macs and Some Crack - The Stooges play three incompetent crack dealers who go door to door selling their wares. Trouble ensues when they knock on the door of the Chief of Police (played by Vernon Dent) who busted them earlier in a sting operation.
8) Curly's a Girly - Our favorite Stooge goes into the hospital for a troublesome goiter operation but due to a zany surgical mix-up, Curly comes out of the operating room with a serious hankerin' for some Moe!
7) Moprah - Larry writes a tell-all book and appears with Curly and Moe on a talk show known for its pathetic, self-pitying, loud-mouth guests who blame everyone else for their own problems. Moe secretly places an order from a local bakery and the stage soon becomes Banana Cream Pie City.
6) Das Stooge - The Stooges stow away on an airplane and end up in Berlin, where Moe is mistaken for Hitler and takes charge of that office while the real Hitler is away on vacation. Soon thereafter, the German armies are decimated in a string of darkly hilarious battles because their rifles have been replaced with seltzer bottles and ice tongs.
5) Shemp's Hemp - That stringy haired Stooge adopts an infatuation for Cannibis. While at a fancy-shmancy restaurant, Shemp gets the munchies, and makes the oftime fatal mistake of taking food off of Moe's plate. Moe of course flings a well aimed fork which sticks in Shemp's head with a perfunctory sound effect.
4) Angst In the Pants - The Stooges are released from jail after several years of incarceration for destruction of private preperty due to their bumbling antics. Feeling rather randy, they are caught propositioning a trio of hookers whom they of course refer to as "dames." The boys are hauled off to jail again but not before their carnal tensions are relieved in a scene that is a bit too graphic to describe. Suffice to say that the scene included a makeshift plywood pillary, some rope and three sets of ben-wa balls.
3) Meetcha at Neitzche's - The Stooges are having a dark and somber conversation with Frederick Neitzche about the nothingness of life and how life exists just for man to die. Moe was expounding about how the essence of man is evil but that man struggles to be good. Larry was insisting that the essence of man is good but with a propensity to do evil. Curly, of course, hits them all in the face with several Banana Creme Pies!
2) Stooge Trek - The trio is abducted by a spaceship, where a pointy-eared First Officer locks them all in a cell with three phasers set to stun. With tears in his eyes, he explains to his captain, between fits of reluctant laughter, "The bumbling accidents and vengeful reciprocations of these twentieth century humans is really quite hysterical, Captain."
1) Shemp Fiction - Shemp goes berserk after being humiliated once again by Moe. He overpowers Moe,strips his clothes, ties him up and "brutalizes" him for hours, the whole time screaming, "Why you oughtta what, fuck boy?!? Huh?! YOU OUGHTTA WHAT??!!!"
