Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
- Messages
- 10,292
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Greetings all! As America’s key sales demographic gears up for its annual awards show to extol the virtues of their “Choice Hotties” and “Choice Lip Locks”, we are reminded that teenagers are, much like our parents tried to tell us, pretty stupid. Just kidding, kids! We get a kick out of all the myriad subdivisions of talent that are possible when categories are designed to show off the most popular and lucrative. However, I thought of a few possible categories that are curiously missing from this year’s roster…
10) “Choice New Artist that Actually has a chance at Being Remembered by Next Year’s Show”
9) “Choice Rack” (Formerly Referred to as: “Choice Actress”)
8) “Choice Actress who Inspired Me to Pretend to Understand Kaballah”
7) “Choice Rookie NBA Player without a Nike contract”
6) “Choice Ugly Pop Singer”
5) “Choice Moral Lesson from a Video Game”
4) “Choice Celebrity Parasitic Sibling”
3) “Choice Band T-Shirt from a Group we’ve Never Listened To, but Wear because Paris Hilton Wore One”
2) “Choice Guitar Solo”
1) “Choice Use of Calvanistic Expressionism in a post-noir Baltic Film”
😎
10) “Choice New Artist that Actually has a chance at Being Remembered by Next Year’s Show”
9) “Choice Rack” (Formerly Referred to as: “Choice Actress”)
8) “Choice Actress who Inspired Me to Pretend to Understand Kaballah”
7) “Choice Rookie NBA Player without a Nike contract”
6) “Choice Ugly Pop Singer”
5) “Choice Moral Lesson from a Video Game”
4) “Choice Celebrity Parasitic Sibling”
3) “Choice Band T-Shirt from a Group we’ve Never Listened To, but Wear because Paris Hilton Wore One”
2) “Choice Guitar Solo”
1) “Choice Use of Calvanistic Expressionism in a post-noir Baltic Film”
😎
