Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
- Messages
- 10,293
- Points
- 0
Hey gang, ever find yourself out on the street living in a Volvo, and would give a kidney for a couple of decent meals? Or perhaps you're a private investigator trying to find a killer on the "inside". Or maybe you're just a fruitcake who's tired of walking around free...whatever. I hope you find this list useful...
10) Stand at the entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel waving a big fucking sword and shouting "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!" to oncoming traffic.
9) After getting pulled over for speeding, explain to the officer that you didn't think you were going that fast, but then again...pot does screw up your perception of time, so...sorry, dude.
8) Send 27 e-mails a day to Condoleeza Rice telling her how hot you think she'd look in fuzzy handcuffs.
7) Drive a van up to the gates of Windsor Palace with a big box in the back clearly marked "BOMB". (Oh wait...that one might not work...)
6) Walk through Wal-Mart and every minute or so declare in a loud, clear voice "Boy, there sure a lot of fuckin' rednecks in here!"
5) Get a private dance at a strip club and tell the girl you'll give her $100 extra if she'll let you put a fish up her butt. Be very persistant.
4) Next time you go to court, answer everything the judge asks you with "Yes, Your Majesty!" and snicker after saying it.
3) Skip rope through the Polio Ward singing "Look what I can do! Look what I can do!"
2) Walk up to the security gate of a nuclear power plant and ask the guard how much plutomium you can get for $12.37
1) Stand outside of an elementary school with a cardboard sign that says "Will Tutor for Head"
10) Stand at the entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel waving a big fucking sword and shouting "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!" to oncoming traffic.
9) After getting pulled over for speeding, explain to the officer that you didn't think you were going that fast, but then again...pot does screw up your perception of time, so...sorry, dude.
8) Send 27 e-mails a day to Condoleeza Rice telling her how hot you think she'd look in fuzzy handcuffs.
7) Drive a van up to the gates of Windsor Palace with a big box in the back clearly marked "BOMB". (Oh wait...that one might not work...)
6) Walk through Wal-Mart and every minute or so declare in a loud, clear voice "Boy, there sure a lot of fuckin' rednecks in here!"
5) Get a private dance at a strip club and tell the girl you'll give her $100 extra if she'll let you put a fish up her butt. Be very persistant.
4) Next time you go to court, answer everything the judge asks you with "Yes, Your Majesty!" and snicker after saying it.
3) Skip rope through the Polio Ward singing "Look what I can do! Look what I can do!"
2) Walk up to the security gate of a nuclear power plant and ask the guard how much plutomium you can get for $12.37
1) Stand outside of an elementary school with a cardboard sign that says "Will Tutor for Head"
Do they sell fish at the strip club? 
