I'll try to elaborate. In the first case, the lee is treated as a means to an end (tickling), where in the latter, tickling just happens to be one (possibly of many) enjoyable modalities used to connect with the lee. It's easy to perceive a scene (or whatever comparable terminology you like) as being very objectifying, but at some level there is some objectification-like elements to relationships. People often have strong preferences for how someone behaves, looks, communicates, performs, etc. There's nothing wrong with having those kinds of preferences for relationships and connecting to others. That includes deep fantasy-fulfilling scenes/sessions. But if it's all about that and nothing else, then it may well be that the lee is being mostly or fully objectified.
Sometimes seeing it from a different angle helps. Here's a hyperbolic example that comes to mind: A lot of people hook up on apps like Tinder, which can be a good or bad thing depending upon how it's handled. Some aren't looking for anything outside of a casual connection. But I've heard about experiences where they felt used anyway because they were treated like a dispenser–only there for the other's enjoyment without consideration to the human qualities and needs of the other. I remember one story where a girl said, "I was only looking for a casual hookup and everything, but like, maybe he could have waited till he left my apartment before scrolling through more Tinder profiles." They had just had sex and the guy was sitting half clothed on the edge of her bed looking for his next hit. The point is to engage with the person and make them feel like you aren't just there to use them and they probably won't feel used. Treat people well and they will usually feel treated well.
