Trouble at Work and on to Counselling

[tkl-pen]

Man, am I insane or what - I made a comment at work that I would like to restrain and tickle a young woman, quite by accident and with no particular individual named - now I have a letter that a woman complained about my behavior and one more such complaint will mean my termination - that's after thirty years on the job - and I got sent to counselling - my counsellor is a drop-dead-gorgeous twenty-three year old girl who came in with long hair, a summer dress, open shoes and painted toenails, about size seven - did she ever figure me out fast - within fifteen minutes she had noticed me looking at her feet five times - she even asked me if I fantasized about her right then but I told her no and I'd get to that later - my fantasies had her on the tickling table pretty quick, though, after I left her office.

 

[sole seeker]

When I first got comfortable around this place I noticed that my psyche made a shift. I had been super-secretive about my tickling fetish because I thought it was too weird to be accepted. After a short while here I began to see my feelings as being pretty natural, or at least no big deal - because they were shared by a bunch of folks on this site. I kind of got lax with the issues of privacy and secrecy.

Maybe that's something like where you're coming from?

Anyway, in my case it wasn't too long before I realized that my initial assessment was pretty close to correct... tickling is a fetish shared by a fairly small minority. You can't bring any fetish out in the open without expecting some kind of reaction, and since like most fetishes it's sexual (for many people), I'd definitely not bring it out at work.

If I were you I'd go real slow with the therapist. One of the things she's probably evaluating is whether or not you can control your actions vis a vis tickling and other sexual issues while you're at work. If you go admitting to fantasizing about her when you've been ordered there in the first place is probably not going to be good for your corporate image. If you catch my drift.

Just be cool dude. Good luck.

 

[toyou444]

Wow, sorry to hear about your misfortune!

I've always felt that our intrest is best kept quiet unless its in the appropriate setting. Still, just making a comment (depending on when it was made) sounds awfully insignifcant to receive a reprimand.

Good luck.

~ toyou

 

[tommytikl]

Man, am I insane or what - I made a comment at work that I would like to restrain and tickle a young woman, quite by accident and with no particular individual named - now I have a letter that a woman complained about my behavior and one more such complaint will mean my termination - that's after thirty years on the job - and I got sent to counselling - my counsellor is a drop-dead-gorgeous twenty-three year old girl who came in with long hair, a summer dress, open shoes and painted toenails, about size seven - did she ever figure me out fast - within fifteen minutes she had noticed me looking at her feet five times - she even asked me if I fantasized about her right then but I told her no and I'd get to that later - my fantasies had her on the tickling table pretty quick, though, after I left her office.

YOu know it is probably more the restraint part that got you in trouble rather than the tickling comment...just a thought.
Yeah, you can never be too careful...

 

[Mitchell]

Sometimes even not saying anything can provoke people being uncomfortable. I've been in meetings and seminars where I've merely glanced at feet, and not said a word, and had women shoot me dirty looks. The same goes in shopping malls. Unfortunately, in today's out of control world with sexual harrassment, people have to be very very careful what they say and do. I wish you luck with the counseling. While it may not have exactly been the appropriate thing to say, if you werent directing at anyone or saying: "I want to restrain and tickle my co worker, Susan Smith", it sounds like whoever reprimanded you might have jumped the gun a little. Unfortunately, companies need to do that to protect themselves against sexual harrassment suits. My mom, a woman in her 60s, thinks personally that sexual harrassment has gotten way out of hand. She talked about so many times as a young woman in her 20s of working in offices and being groped, propostioned, or grabbed, and not being able to do anything about it. Of course, Iam not advocating such behavior, but I do think that the world needs to distinguish a bit between true sexually threatening behavior, and something that might be said which isnt smart to say, but not threatening. Just my two cents. It wont happen that way, I know. Good luck with the counseling, and next time, exercise extreme caution. Limit your comments of tickling women to a place where it is a personal setting, and where you wont get fingered for harrassment.

Mitch

 

[tickleboynyc]

Re: Re: Trouble at Work and on to Counselling

YOu know it is probably more the restraint part that got you in trouble rather than the tickling comment...just a thought.
Yeah, you can never be too careful...

I agree, i'm sure the 'restraint ' part was the worst. But honestly, can you blame people? there's too many sickos out there!
restraint-tieing somebody up-has the scariest connotations anyone can think of!
Except when you're in an S/M club...
Who knows-who ever complained about you might have had something really bad happen to her in the past!
try to look at it that way too...i'm sure you'll watch what you say from now on...
just your luck that the therapist is a gorgeous young woman...What were they thinking? or did they do that on purpose? Anyway, my advice is be VERY VERY careful what you say!

 

[tkl-pen]

Thanks everyone - actually, the counsellor says that the obsession or fetish won't go away but she hopes to make me more aware of the things I say - like don't say what I might be thinking - and maybe even more difficult will be to not say things so that women feel a sexual undertone - but it's really difficult for me - I feel a lot better now that I've had some feedback from you all, though.

 

[duannewalton]

I got in trouble for inviting a girl to Open Mike Night at Barnes & Noble (I was doing a reading). Thankfully, I didn't have to go to counseling. I guess I got off lucky.

 

[Mitchell]

Thats all you did Duanne? You mean it wasnt even like you sexually propostioned her or asked her if shes ticklish? All you did is invite her to an open mike night? Damn, these things are getting way out of hand. Pretty soon a guy is gonna have to worry about sexual harrassment even just by asking a girl out on a date!

Mitch

 

[tkl-pen]

I got it once for holding the door open for a young woman carrying a large box - I offered to help with the box - six weeks later I found myself on the carpet at work (again - they say I have my own coffee mug in the manager's office) for sexual harassment - I told him that it was nothing more than good manners to hold the door and offer the help - good grief, I say, what next

 

[Avenger314]

There is way, way, way too much stupidity in the world.

 

[Drago69]

There is way, way, way too much stupidity in the world.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

 

[2ticklishsoles]

Sorry to hear about your problem with work idiots. Welcome to a politically correct world. As far as your therapist goes, maybe you should ask her or any other girl who wears open-toed shoes with beautiful nail polish why they bare their toes if they do not want them noticed? I actually have pedicures and take wonderful care of my feet for people to notice them! I would never give a guy a dirty look for admiring my tootsies. I realize my love for my feet might be an exception to the norm, but I think people should get a grip and enjoy life.

 

[kis123]

I got it once for holding the door open for a young woman carrying a large box - I offered to help with the box - six weeks later I found myself on the carpet at work (again - they say I have my own coffee mug in the manager's office) for sexual harassment - I told him that it was nothing more than good manners to hold the door and offer the help - good grief, I say, what next

The workplace today has no real idea what sexual harrassment really is!😡 Twenty years ago, if you didn't date your boss, he could either fire you or make you quit. Now, if you say "hello" to a woman and she doesn't like the way it sounds, you could lose you job.

I don't tend to have too much compassion for men in the workplace, but wrong is just wrong. Some of these chicks just need to get over themselves and do their jobs.

Tkl-pen, if you held the door for me, I'd be grateful!😎

 

[tkl-pen]

Thanks to both you ladies - you know, I have actually complemented a few young women on their feet over the years and they were all quite honored - I have never yet had one respond negatively on that - mind you, the only ones that I have complemented were obviously caring to their feet - as for holding the door, I ran into the exact same thing about two weeks after that, asked if she would be upset if I held the door, she said no and asked why, I explained it and she called in a complement to my employer - so its not all bad - I can only do the best I can to be kind to people and I won't let the ones who respond negatively stop me - thanks again

 

[Hosetickler23]

I work in a hospital am a guy 24 and there are only 2 girls I really talk to everyone else is guys. And over all the girls talk raunchier then any guy but I never say anything back of a sexual, fetish content, or even ask one of them out who I know Im like 100% compatible with simply because of sexual harrasment. She is the one who has to ask out (id probally say no to be safe.)

 

[natural tickler]

So I guess the solution is just don't do or say anything😀

 

[Neutron]

Legally It's Not Sexual Harrassment..

Unless she complains about it first. It is inappropriate behaviour but by law a complaint has to be filed followed you by again displaying the same behaviour.

Saying all that, I'm a boss, and had to displayed that sort of behaviour under my employ, I'd have fired you, no questions asked.

Tron

 

[Mitchell]

Several years ago, a friend of mine got into hot water at his job for giving a female co worker a poem. Inappropriate, and not a smart move. He didnt get fired on the spot. He was called into his boss' office, and warned about the infraction as you were, and told if it ever happened again, he would be terminated. Luckily, it didnt, and he ended up leaving there to move to another city. It is my understanding, that, depending on the infraction, employers usually warn an individual about such behavior once before terminating. (Unless the offender actually physically touched someone) I've not heard of anyone getting fired on the spot for such behavior, because I've known two people who got into scrapes at their jobs for sexually inappropriate behavior. (One for giving a poem, and another for giving a gift to a female co worker) and they both were warned, and not terminated. As long as you dont do it again, you should be okay.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

Re: Legally It's Not Sexual Harrassment..

Unless she complains about it first. It is inappropriate behaviour but by law a complaint has to be filed followed you by again displaying the same behaviour.

Saying all that, I'm a boss, and had to displayed that sort of behaviour under my employ, I'd have fired you, no questions asked.

Tron

So I guess it's good he doesn't work with you as his boss, huh?