njjen3953
4th Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2001
- Messages
- 2,858
- Points
- 0
INNER SKELETON-----
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital
in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations
>to his penis. He complained that his wife had
>"...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex.
>After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that
>she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
>recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE?-----
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend was
fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend
had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a
funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping-pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)
BLIND DRUNK-----
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
of severe pain while trying to remove his contact
lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but
they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help
using a suction pump, but without success.
Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency
room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The
man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to
doctors that they had gone out that evening for a
romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man.
While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which
caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you all thought your day was going bad!!!!
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital
in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations
>to his penis. He complained that his wife had
>"...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex.
>After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that
>she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
>recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE?-----
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend was
fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend
had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a
funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping-pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)
BLIND DRUNK-----
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
of severe pain while trying to remove his contact
lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but
they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help
using a suction pump, but without success.
Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency
room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The
man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to
doctors that they had gone out that evening for a
romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man.
While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which
caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you all thought your day was going bad!!!!
