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Tsunami Causes Japanese Couples To Realize How Much They Can't Stand Each Other

c7_assassin

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http://ca.news.yahoo.com/divorce-ceremonies-pick-japan-disaster-115016334.html

TOKYO (Reuters) - Ceremonies to celebrate divorces have gained momentum in Japan after the massive March earthquake and tsunami, followed by an ongoing nuclear crisis, caused unhappy couples to reassess their lives.

The ceremony to mark a couple's transition to being single again costs 55,000 yen (423 pounds), includes a buffet meal and culminates with the ritual smashing of their wedding rings with a gavel.

"The March 11 disaster made many couples rethink their priorities. Some found that work was a higher priority to them than family, and this helped people gain the confidence to decide on a divorce," Terai said.

I can't figure out which part of this story I find more confusing and vaguely unsettling; the fact that there's such a thing as a divorce ceremony in Japan, or the fact that couples are getting more of them post-civilization threatening-disaster.

I mean, I've never been through a divorce myself, but it seems like most of them are predicated on a certain amount of animosity or general unhappiness with your spouse. So the idea of a formal ceremony celebrating the end of your relationship with said spouse seems patently absurd. In fact, the idea of a breakup ceremony is so counterintuitive that it was actually used as a plot device in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. So Japan seems to now be actively appropriating it's culture from bad science fiction.

The etiquette of this ceremony is what intrigues me the most. I mean, are you expected to invite guests? And do they have to be the same guests who attended your wedding in order to reverse the bad-marriage-polarity? Is the father of the un-bride expected to foot the bill again? What if there was infidelity? Is the cheater expected to pay? Is he allowed to bring his mistress as a guest? Do you both, in fact, bring dates? Do the guests give toasts listing the individual faults of the bride and groom? Is there cake? Instead of playfully feeding it to each other, do they instead ram it down each other's throats and then go at it with the knives? Does the whole thing take place in an octagon?

Also, how bad must the average Japanese marriage be, that a near death experience causes them to wake up and say "My God, I almost died. My life would have been over. I've been wasting it, my god have I been wasting it! Well, no more. I'm divorcing this frigid bitch and spending all my remaining time at the office!"

Over here, we have a phenomenon where blackouts always cause a spike in pregnancies; our rule of thumb is "When in doubt, bone." In Japan, when the lights go out, couples will chew off their own genitals just to hide them from their partners. Japanese people are so afraid of sex that their concept of a hooker is a woman who takes off her gloves as she's pouring your tea. Japanese people are so bad at intimacy that they think 'cuddling' is something you do with sea creatures who are too slow to swim away. Japanese people are so uptight that if you make eye contact with your own mother, you have to be chemically castrated.
 
PTSD can do things to your brain. When you've been through a traumatic event, you rethink your life. I don't think that divorcing after a major natural disaster has anything to do with the Japanese being uptight about sex. You're generalizing a little too much there.
 
I was legitimately surprised to open this thread and discover it wasn't an Onion article.

Edit: Also, that episode of DS9 sucks.
 
If they have a better way of going about divorces than we do, all the better to them.
 
Divorce celebrations aren't all that uncommon, actually. Even in the U.S., I remember when I was in the Marine Corps, radio commercials for the local strip clubs advertised renting the champagne room for things such as bachelor parties or even divorce parties. :shrug:

I dunno. I figure if two people can acknowledge to each other that they made a mistake, and end things amicably, the fact that they can celebrate it is pretty awesome.

This just makes me think about how divorce is very prevalent today, and how some people would talk about the past, and how couples were more inclined to work things out, stay together for the kids, etc. I wonder how many feel like they've been a square peg forced into a round hole all their life.

Basically, I don't feel that the problem is that there's too much divorce these days. I think the problem is that too many people are hastily getting married to the wrong person.
 
Basically, I don't feel that the problem is that there's too much divorce these days. I think the problem is that too many people are hastily getting married to the wrong person.

I would agree, and add that some people get married for the wrong reasons, just my opinion. My late friend Don was married five times, two of those times to the same woman. He seemed to like the idea of being married, but actually being married was a different story. There are other examples I could cite, but I'll leave it at that.
 
You would think a disaster would bring two married people closer instead of helping them decide that smashing the ring in a ceremony is a good idea. While I agree that many people are getting married to the wrong person, I can't say much more than what I've said in the past.


This world is so fucked up....
 
Basically, I don't feel that the problem is that there's too much divorce these days. I think the problem is that too many people are hastily getting married to the wrong person.


Or caving to societal pressure and tying the knot because it seems like the "normal" thing to do.
 
Or caving to societal pressure and tying the knot because it seems like the "normal" thing to do.

Yep. It is what is expected by much of society. If you don't get married there must be something wrong with you. If fact though, marriage is not for everyone. I'm a shining example of that, and make no apologies for it. Let people think what they will. I really don't care.
 
when it comes to marriage, I love this article I read in the Metro last fall.

Click Here

John Mazerolle said:
This is marriage season in my family.

There’s the summer anniversary of my very Catholic brother and his very Catholic wife, who pops off babies like a Gremlin when you get it wet.

There’s the fall anniversary of my parents, who have been dating since they were zygotes and who make eHarmony couples seem jaded and cynical.

And there’s my sister, who is marrying her girlfriend on the “28st” of August, according to her delightfully flawed wedding invitations.

Also there’s me: I have my divorciversary.

I’ve been separated from my wife for a year-and-a-half. I may, therefore, be coming from a somewhat-biased perspective when I say I don’t understand how marriage became a necessary ingredient for happiness.

At some point in human history, marriage became a mandatory milestone in any life, on that timeline that starts with Baby’s First Spit-Up ensconced in a scrapbook and ends with a quiet, dignified death surrounded by family members who keep casually bringing up the will.

To “miss out” on marriage is to spend a life dealing with people who wonder what went wrong. People might not think you’re a failure, but you’re not going to get an A-plus with an “incomplete.”

And if marriage disintegrates, it’s always treated like a tragedy. This reached its most ridiculous point during the Tiger Woods ordeal when the front of People magazine asked, “Can Tiger save his marriage?”

Will the Hindenburg fly again? Can Stalin be revived? Can we bring back the Fox puck? Why would we want to?

By default we assume that staying married is the “right” path. Nobody after a sex scandal ever says, “You know what? I’m sorry I hurt so many people, but I’ve re-evaluated and marriage was a bad choice for me. I move forward regretful but wiser.”

Here’s what I think: I think getting married is like getting an engineering degree. Engineering degrees are awesome, a wonderful accomplishment, but they’re not for everyone, and there’s no shame in not getting one. And if you forced everybody to get one a lot of bridges would collapse.

Marriage can work for many people, maybe even me some day.

But it should only be a No. 1 priority for some. For others, it needn’t rank higher than 28st.
 
I would gladly take a divorce ceremony over the very lengthy and expensive divorce process I'm going through. And while you might think that a tragedy would bring a couple together, a near-death experience serves as the best wake up call to rid your life of bullshit, and start embracing a happier future. Kudos to Japan for creating an amicable way to end things.
:carmeldansen:
 
It'd be really nice if every divorce ended so civilly that the couple could be in the same room as one another.
 
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