AffectionateDan
1st Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Messages
- 8,115
- Points
- 36
Thought # 1 :
When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought # 2 :
The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought # 3 :
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind,
"If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and
kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once
again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still. If you take one more
step a car will run over you, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening
around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got
married?"
--------------------------------------------------------
This is the best!!!
Thought # 4 :
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her
father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by
the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on
him to divulge the secret and say something, so he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and
continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing..........but not the
poor groom!
When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought # 2 :
The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thought # 3 :
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind,
"If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and
kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once
again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still. If you take one more
step a car will run over you, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening
around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got
married?"
--------------------------------------------------------
This is the best!!!
Thought # 4 :
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as
her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her
father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by
the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on
him to divulge the secret and say something, so he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and
continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing..........but not the
poor groom!
lol
