What do you think makes a good tickler in women or men?

[W. Kiet]

There are often topics here about who is the most ticklish, who is the best tickler and all those kinds of discussions where men and women are compared.

To start off, I want to say that I don't think gender matters that much. I believe that these things are purely individual. This does not immediately mean that there are no general differences when it comes to genes, personalities, instinct, qualities, strengths, hormones, behavior, skills, emotions and many other examples between men and women.

Now I'm wondering what you think the differences are between men and women when it comes to tickling.

So the question is not who is a better tickler. But what makes a good tickler for a man, and what makes a good tickler for a woman. Like what skills and abilities do female lers have in general and what skills and abilities do male lers have in general (in your opinion). And also what the bad sides of each gender are. Based on your own experience and observations.

I'm happy to hear what you think. 😊

 

[Jamesplaining]

Essentially, a good tickler moves according to ticklee’s needs and not just upon his own fantasies. A good tickler is empathetic, knows what the ticklee wants and don’t act just like mimicking what he have seen in his favorite porn video.

For example, if the ticklee wants to be wrecked and is particularly sensitive to armpits strokes and verbal teases, why would you focus on silent foot tickling? Someone do exactly this, though, mainly because they are focusing on themselves. Tickling is a shared experience, based on listening and care, not a technical performance.

 

[natscott6282]

someone who is very methodical, determined, prepared to practice, ability to hyper focus in all the senses, physical fitness specially endurance, dexterity fine motor skills, absolutely loads of emotional intelligence, scientific, empath, mind reading, sensitivity to all kindsa reactions including coming from within, determination, good planning, team player, sharing, patience, quick reactions, concentration and probz some others

imho

 

[4Pawz]

Flexibility. Being able to modify and adapt in a session.

 

[solarcharger]

Being mindful of the ticklee’s feelings, and limitations, and trying to make it as pleasurable for the Lee as possible, as well for him/her self.

 

[FFT32]

Um... the ability to tickle? :0)

 

[duderino84]

Practice.

 

[wolfman40]

Someone who listens, takes the time to connect with there play partner, inside and outside kink, who stays within the agreed boundaries, who provides aftercare, snacks, go for a cheeky pint afterwards, fries.

who checks in the next day, in case of drop.

who is playful kind, caring

who puts there partners pleasures before their own

who is aware and intuned and thoughful, provides breaks and things like back strikes inbetween.

 

[ticklishbod20]

Someone who listens, takes the time to connect with there play partner, inside and outside kink, who stays within the agreed boundaries, who provides aftercare, snacks, go for a cheeky pint afterwards, fries.

who checks in the next day, in case of drop.

who is playful kind, caring

who puts there partners pleasures before their own

who is aware and intuned and thoughful, provides breaks and things like back strikes inbetween.

Spot on!

 

[maniactickler]

Someone who shows no mercy and doesnt use feathers.

 

[DebonairDavid]

Someone who shows no mercy and doesnt use feathers.

I get that there are some lees who openly masochistic and will tell their lers they want no mercy, but not every lee is like that, and while there are some lers who are sadistic (I'm one of them), even they know when to stop

 

[HyenaHarry]

I'm sure when you asked this question you may have expected wildly different answers lol.

With answers like "shows no mercy and doesn't use feathers" I often feel like the only thing I have in common with many people in this community is our relatively rare fetish...

I digress! On the other hand, yes; empathy and interpersonal connection go a long way. In my experience, simply put: women seem to enjoy more teasing and build up. Men tend to enjoy more intense tickling. That said, what works for one lee doesn't work for all.

I've had sessions with folks that could tickle well initially but become lackluster with time.
I've also had boring sessions with lers that end up learning subsequently, transforming into devastating ticklers!

Indeed, there are certain tried and true techniques. Manicured nails on a woman are killer while men tend to have strong hands to really get in there and tickle legs/muscles. I've met both male and females lers that can unlock it all.

One of key element that tends to get overlooked is: enthusiasm! A ler should have a genuine interest in making the lee laugh, whether it be spurred on by revenge (which is why I often like to tickle first in a switch session), comedy, sexual tension, dominance, reciprocation or having a fetish themselves. Some of my best sessions in life have been with women who hadn't even heard of a tickle fetish but came to embrace it, and learn it (and yes, I started with feathers, which they ALL enjoyed). When you have that core desire, coupled with connection, then the patience to explore your lee's body and mind comes naturally.

If you're just going through the motions however...for example, I myself can be incredibly ticklish, but if my ler lacks enthusiasm, my nervous system basically goes to sleep on them 😆

 

[HyenaHarry]

Practice.

You're not wrong lol

 

[HyenaHarry]

Um... the ability to tickle? :0)

Which is rarer than you might think!

 

[DebonairDavid]

I'd say someone who's purposely making an effort to make the session be fun for both themselves and their lee. This first list has to do with common courtesy:

• Stopping when a safe word is called out
• Stopping briefly and voluntarily so the lee can catch their breath and get their heart rate back to normal. Bonus points if they ask how their lee is feeling to show care for their well-being. More bonus points if they check in on them the next day or during the week to see how their life has been since then.
• Making their lee's safety, consent, and comfort a top priority (ex: before I'd start the session, I'd ask my lee if they need to use the bathroom, and I'd stop if they suddenly had to do so)
• Respecting their lee's boundaries (ex: If the lee does/doesn't want to use restraints, use/don't use them. If the lee has ticklish feet and they hate having them tickled, the ler has to respect that by avoiding them.)
• Treating the lee like a lady or a gentleman (this applies to all parts of life, not just tickling)
• Treating the lee to food and drinks before or after the session
• Whether it's a paid session or video shoot, pay the lee handsomely
• Being the kind of ler the lee wanted when they agreed to a session (ex: If they're a masochist, being merciless. If they want more playful tickles, be light-hearted.)
• DO NOT spike their drink! Your ass is going to get arrested for rape if you do that, and your chances of having another session with someone else are OVER! What goes around comes around, because if you're cellmates with Bubba the prison rapist, he'll eventually have his way with you.
• Suggesting they have someone around during the first session for safety reasons. This can also make the session more fun if the ler and other person are tickling the lee together.

This next list has to do with how the ler makes the session fun and even erotic:

• Being playful, teasy, and sensual. In the F/F videos I've watched, female lers who have sultry voices make tickling more exciting (Charlie Chase instantly comes to mind). If the lee is fine with it, be sadistic.
• Using tickle talk to tease their lee, especially whispering it seductively in their ear. 😉
  
• Making their lee anxious and giggly by wiggling their fingers at them and making them flinch. This heightens the lee's senses and makes them explode with laughter when the ler finally tickles them.
• Using tickle tools like electric toothbrushes, electric flossers, pipe cleaners, pens/stiff-tipped markers, blindfolds, etc
• Chasing and cornering the lee
• Playing tickle games (ex: Having the lee count 1-10 forwards and backwards while being tickled, having the lee role a die, and if it lands on a one, they get tickled for 10 seconds)
• If it's their birthday, setting a timer for what their age is in seconds, and tickling them for that amount of time (ex: if they turned 30, they get tickled for 30 seconds)
• Blowing raspberries on their stomach
• Drawing smiley faces on their toes, and tickling their feet after writing "tickle me" on their soles. The ler can tease them about writing that by saying something like "Don't mind if I do! 😉". If the lee squirms while the ler is writing or drawing on their soles, the ler can tease them about how the lee is making them mess up.
• Bending their toes backward and tickling their soles. Even more fun if the ler uses tickle tools.
• The ler and lee dressing up as characters to act out a particular tickle fantasy

 

[W. Kiet]

Although I read some good post here (I completely agree with most of you), the answers are not really about what I wanted to ask in the first place.

I'm sure when you asked this question you may have expected wildly different answers lol.

This!

In my experience, simply put: women seem to enjoy more teasing and build up. Men tend to enjoy more intense tickling.

Indeed, there are certain tried and true techniques. Manicured nails on a woman are killer while men tend to have strong hands to really get in there and tickle legs/muscles. I've met both male and females lers that can unlock it all.

This is starting to look more like what I was looking for. I would like to discuss about the differences in males and females when it comes to tickling people. Like what @HyenaHarry said above. What are the things you find males good at, and what are thing you find females good at?

I'm not trying to find out what makes a good tickler in general. I'm not trying to find out which gender is better at tickling.

I'm trying to find out what the different qualities are between both genders. And it can be about the touch itself, but also about the way they build it up, about how they tease (or even whay's going on in their minds), about the way they are built, maybe about how they experienced things in the past, and so can I go on forever.

Let's try again! ☺️

 

[pacattack]

Someone who shows no mercy and doesnt use feathers.

I used the think feathers were a gimmick until I met a Lee who would be absolute destroyed by them.

Every Lee is different.

In the case of this one, feathers were her "no mercy" and most sadistic thing that could be done to her, and it was really, really fun.

 

[HyenaHarry]

I don't have any experience, but my guess is what would make a woman a good tickler is how much she likes doing it. I've had some women tickle me, but only because I asked them to, and it wasn't that great. But I would think if they were really into it, it could get pretty intense, and they would spend a lot of time getting to know the best spots to tickler, and what technique works the best, etc.

But then that goes without saying, right?

I certainly hope you acquire some great experiences!.

The lackluster ler experiences you did have are missing that key ingredient I mentioned earlier: enthusiasm. I'll add a few more elements to this though:

Whether you're into bdsm or not, there is an element of power play in tickling. While I notice more male ticklers desire to make their lees laugh as loudly as possible, and really want to "give it to them" many female lers I've encountered tend to lack this level of "aggression". Not that the hard and fast method is always better- but I notice more men tend to adopt it than women. A few of those female lers have straight up admitted to me that they're too submissive to be that type of tickler (and would actually prefer to be tickled in this case)! So in short, a willingness to dominant, whether sexually or playfully, helps make a good ler. Men seem to gravitate to the former, women the latter.

Some might argue that men are driven to "give" while women prefer to "receive" but, I don't want to lean into that bias too heavily.

There should also exist an element of curiosity, i.e. a willingness to explore tickle methods. Along with wanting to push boundaries, male lers I've met tend to have more elaborate bondage setups, with the mindset of achieving a more vulnerable state in their lee. I've had female lers that barely bother to finish tying me up before starting to tickle me lol.


This is why I try to incentive my female lers by tickling them first: to inspire a sense of "revenge", and to inspire curiosity in sharing my methods/techniques on them.
Personally, I'd take a curious, enthusiastic female ler (who gets better at tickling slowly but surely) over an aggressive male ler but either can be great!

 

[Madame_T]

Regardless of gender, I think a good ler will be an attentive one. One who is not self serving, but makes sure the Lee is having a positive experience as much as the ler is themselves. A good ler will not skimp on safety precautions, force their fantasies onto other, or be pushy with a Lee to get what they want. They truly care about the dynamic, and will create a fun experience for all parties.

 

[ticklez86]

Passion, playfulness and affectionate cruelty

 

[SwitchyZ]

Playfulness , the ability to read your lee's reactions , knowing when to stop/ or not to stop...

A person comfortable mixing the sensual and sadistic , knowing how to verbally tease your lee to psychologically get them.

Definitely also depends on the relationship between the lee and the ler , physical attraction/mental attraction can always enhance vulnerability and susceptibility to ticklishness...

 

[torturoustickle]

The ability to be able to connect with the Lee. That connection will allow them to stop when needed, slow down when required, press on when the Lee begs for mercy, but actually doesn't want any. 😁🪶

 

[ThatPayPhoneGuy]

Patients, sensuality and a knack for taunting. Good tickling is like good sex, you have to build up slowly to the final orgasm. That way the climax is much stronger.