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What happened at Barnes & Noble...(M/F,Sexual)

tommytikl

2nd Level Green Feather
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I haven't written in a while but what the heck, I was inspired by this Barnes & Noble thread http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=130499


What happened at Barnes & Noble... M/F All body parts, Sexual, Adultish language 18or under come back later...


Carrie and John were walking around B&N together browsing books they had no intention of buying just to delay the inevitable coffee fix. John picked up a 'Car & Driver' mag and found a quite corner while Carrie got the coffee's.

John was already reading about overhead cams when Carrie whispered to John, "look at that chick's feet in the red shorts. They look so smooth and sexy...I bet their ticklish"...Carrie finishes her whisper by biting John's ear lob.
John responds with a shudder and a "huh, what" expression on his face but his mouth quickly waters as his attentions are turned to the chick's yes indeed sexy soles...Carrie continues to whisper, "but they couldn't possibly be more ticklish than mine, my cute, widdle, size sixes all tied up with no where to go"...now her hand is on his thigh and continues,
"I bet you would suck on her big toe first and running your damned tongue in out out of each tender crevice to drive her insane(Johns mag in his lap as Carries hand moves up his thigh)...but with my feet you know to start with my piggie toe, my poor, sensitive(her finger now touches John's penis head through his shorts), defenseless piggie toe, you know it kills me every time your fucking tongue slides through my toes but do you stop, NO, you continue to drive me insane."
Carrie continues whispering "I bet you would nibble on her soles and run a single finger down her arch causing her to squeal and giggle." Carrie takes a breath to continue "but my poor feet you would lock up tight(grips John's penis hard) and use all of your deadly fingers on my sensitive soles, you wouldn't have any mercy would you, you would just enjoy my torment, my laughter, my insanity..." Carries hand now sliding up and down John's love stick at this mostly empty B&N...mostly...

Carrie continues, "I bet after you finished with her feet you would continue upwards finding more places to make her wiggle and squirm, finding more places to drive her insane, more places to keep her guessing, more places that you just don't fucking leave alone, more places that make the neighbors bang the walls, more places that pull the hardest cum ever felt by a woman EVER" at this John's seed hits the magazine and other than a soft groan, no one is the wiser as John and Carrie leave B&N with their coffee's and another Car & Driver in the trash...

Hope you enjoyed, feed back welcome.
 
Wow, 500 views and no comments...

Did this suck big ones?

Not enough descriptions about the people involved?

Just wondering...
 
I missed it the first time around. I'm not especially a foot person, and I'd guess that many of those 500 views were from people like me who took a quick look at a very foot-oriented story and decided it wasn't their cup of tea. No reflection on the quality of the story, its focus just doesn't interest me.

The one other thing that jarred a little for me was the parenthetical actions. They felt very "IM"-ish if that makes sense? So something like

"You'd lock my poor feet up(grips John's penis hard) and use all your fingers..."

"You'd lock my poor feet up", she whispered as she gripped John's penis firmly, "and use all your fingers..."

Makes sense? The second sentence doesn't feel as choppy to me. But that too might just be personal preference.

Anyway, I hope you get a good response from some foot fans. I think they'd like this very much. Good luck!
 
Very Sexy Story!

I prefer f/m or m/m, but this story was so sexy. Probably the eroticism in a public place made it even sexier.

Good job!:firedevil
 
This type of story usually isn't my cup of tea. I'm not really a "foot guy" or into stories with guys in them, but DAMN. This story was really good. Something about the descriptions or the use of a female story teller, but whatever it was, I liked it. Great job!
 
The one other thing that jarred a little for me was the parenthetical actions. They felt very "IM"-ish if that makes sense? So something like


Makes sense? The second sentence doesn't feel as choppy to me. But that too might just be personal preference.

Anyway, I hope you get a good response from some foot fans. I think they'd like this very much. Good luck!

That makes complete sense, I wasn't sure how to word or phase the "Grips penis hard" part, I will try to use that writing style in the future.

Thanks for the feedback!
 
This type of story usually isn't my cup of tea. I'm not really a "foot guy" or into stories with guys in them, but DAMN. This story was really good. Something about the descriptions or the use of a female story teller, but whatever it was, I liked it. Great job!


I am glad you enjoyed the story Ticker2005, ironically this isn't the type of story I like either but the B&N thread in the TD section got me fantasizing and I couldn't stop thinking about it so I wrote a story about it.

It just flowed out and since I like feet it started with feet but I also like all body parts, I wondered if people would think it was a foot only tickling story.

Thanks for the responses!
 
Its short but I really liked the premise

A girl fanyasising out loud about the ticklishness of another girl, as a means of turning on her man is hot hot hot. Nice one tommy.

Chris
 
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