when does tickling cross the line?

[janis]

have you ever had an experience when tickling went to far?
i've always been a playful ler but know there are some that can get way to
aggressive. bottom line,know your ler.

example> when a safeword is ignored,can't catch your breath but the tickling continues,unwanted tickling? etc.

 

[meteor]

There should always be a safeword and full trust,and always consent,never any aggression.

The lee must have faith and trust in the ler and the ler must respect the lee at all times, the safe word should not be ignored.

You have to get to know each other well, and learn and judge the situation, but what fits the bill one day may not be the case another.

Remember the lee is not a toy but a person and the women should be treated as ladies and the gents should behave as gents.

Get tickling and learn the ropes and enjoy, the rest will automatically fall into place.

Tickling is like anything else not all people are right for each other its a matter of give and take.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

well,if a safe word was set in place,it was set there for a reason and should NEVER be ignored.You don't know why it's being used and you need to respect it.You can ''punish'' them for using it but you need to respect it,it could be an emergency or they are panicking and need a minute or so.
If a person doesn't like to be tickled and you restrain them and don't listen to them telling you to stop,that is abuse and since some of you are ''turned on'' by it,it could be considered rape.You need to respect a person's limits.
I think I covered everything that applies to everyone.Obviously other people don't want certain things done to them,that's why I said you have to respect the person's boundaries.For example:I wouldn't want to be tied up in some bondage position because I can't bend that way and it would hurt my back and neck to much.I could also possibly be injured.I am the youngest,oldest person you will ever meet.However Sammi aka Bella Donna would love it.Everyone is different and you just have to accept that or move on.

 

[JackVanderson]

Well everyone has their own deffinition of crossing the line.

I'd have to say I draw mine when the ler has no respect for the lee and simply uses them like an object.
I see countless posts here from lers saying that they don't use safewords, that they're gonna utterly destroy the lee. I'm sorry but if the lee doesn't know that THAT is what's gonna happen, it's fucked up.

It's simply this:
If the lee's not having fun, why the hell should the ler?
&
If the lee's not having fun, and the ler continues, that ler is a sick and twisted individual and should be avoided at all costs.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Well everyone has their own deffinition of crossing the line.

I'd have to say I draw mine when the ler has no respect for the lee and simply uses them like an object.
I see countless posts here from lers saying that they don't use safewords, that they're gonna utterly destroy the lee. I'm sorry but if the lee doesn't know that THAT is what's gonna happen, it's fucked up.

It's simply this:
If the lee's not having fun, why the hell should the ler?
&
If the lee's not having fun, and the ler continues, that ler is a sick and twisted individual and should be avoided at all costs.

I agree,you can do a great deal of harm to an individual that way,that is abusive

 

[JackVanderson]

I agree,you can do a great deal of harm to an individual that way,that is abusive

Right, that's the problem I tend to have with some people I see posting here. They come off with such a "I don't give a shit about her, once she's tied down she's mine" attitude. It scares the hell out of me that someone could be so twisted.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Right, that's the problem I tend to have with some people I see posting here. They come off with such a "I don't give a shit about her, once she's tied down she's mine" attitude. It scares the hell out of me that someone could be so twisted.

well,that is kind of the mind of a sadist,they want you to be in pain and be tortured and they have no regard for the feelings of others.You have to be careful with these people,they can have Anti Social Personality Disorder and you don't want to end up with an Ed Gein.These days people have to be extremely careful about where they go,when they go and who they go with.

 

[JackVanderson]

well,that is kind of the mind of a sadist,they want you to be in pain and be tortured and they have no regard for the feelings of others.You have to be careful with these people,they can have Anti Social Personality Disorder and you don't want to end up with an Ed Gein.These days people have to be extremely careful about where they go,when they go and who they go with.

Right and what's worse is that they can take that people like acts of BDSM and lie to the lee and get them into bondage and that's it.... game over. I agree completely, people really need to be carefull about who they're gonna hook up with and where.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Well,but it isn't necessarily going to be BDSM,you could end up with a real killer.There have been reports of very gruesome acts of real violence.Some just don't know when to stop,others know and don't care.They actually want you in as much pain as possible.This world is getting worse with every generation and there isn't much we can do about it.I stay with my opinion that some people should NEVER have kids because they don't know how or when to discipline them.I don't necessarily want them to be spanked but hey if that's going to keep them from robbing a gas station at 13 and eventually committing murder at 30 then,do what you need to.A little swat on the butt won't kill them.It worked for your parents and they are good people.

 

[drew70]

For me, it's all about respect and consideration for your tickling partner. When you put your own will above that of your partner, you're crossing the line, in my book.

In my opinion, the safeword is sacrosanct. Disregarding it is the epitome of uncool. I know a disreputable fellow on another forum who for years has had the phrase "FUCK SAFEWORDS" in his signature. I can't imagine a more nakedly self-serving attitude for a guy/ler to have.

 

[Rox_My_Sox1]

Sometimes tickling can go to far if it begins to cause bodily harm.

I don't know if anyone has died from tickling though.

 

[JackVanderson]

Well,but it isn't necessarily going to be BDSM,you could end up with a real killer.There have been reports of very gruesome acts of real violence.Some just don't know when to stop,others know and don't care.They actually want you in as much pain as possible.This world is getting worse with every generation and there isn't much we can do about it.I stay with my opinion that some people should NEVER have kids because they don't know how or when to discipline them.I don't necessarily want them to be spanked but hey if that's going to keep them from robbing a gas station at 13 and eventually committing murder at 30 then,do what you need to.A little swat on the butt won't kill them.It worked for your parents and they are good people.

Sorry, I wasn't clearer in my post. What I meant to say was that since people do like the acts of BDSM, it gives these sick bastards another thrill: The thrill of practically telling their victim what they're gonna do, then betraying the trust the victim has put into them. I didn't mean that it's always BDSM style abuse, I mean that these sickos are gonna get a kick out of luring people in under the BDSM excuse.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Sorry, I wasn't clearer in my post. What I meant to say was that since people do like the acts of BDSM, it gives these sick bastards another thrill: The thrill of practically telling their victim what they're gonna do, then betraying the trust the victim has put into them. I didn't mean that it's always BDSM style abuse, I mean that these sickos are gonna get a kick out of luring people in under the BDSM excuse.

That is bad for two main reasons 1.It makes women way less trusting of anyone and 2.It gives people into BDSM a very bad name.It's sad because the world should never have turned out this way.It makes me wish I could have been born in the 60s or 70s when there really wasn't any crime and times were way easier.You never had to be scared to walk to school or the store at any time of day or night.You didn't have to worry about anything and people were so much nicer and more caring.

 

[Wade1]

It makes me wish I could have been born in the 60s or 70s when there really wasn't any crime and times were way easier.You never had to be scared to walk to school or the store at any time of day or night.You didn't have to worry about anything and people were so much nicer and more caring.

And free pork chops grew on trees and dogs sang the most beautiful operatic arias.

Have no regrets, QBBM; the times you missed weren't safer--they just had a less efficient flow of information. People in New York City would be particularly disinclined to return to the allegedly safer and crime-free days of the 1970s.

On the topic at hand: I've never had a safeword, because whenever I get tickled by someone it's never prearranged. The good news is that such spontaneous attacks are rarely perpetrated by someone who's inclined to torture you until you completely lose your mind; the bad news is that when you're attacked by someone who IS in the mood to do that, you have no defense or recourse. Either way, I'm pretty much at their mercy.

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

And free pork chops grew on trees and dogs sang the most beautiful operatic arias.

Have no regrets, QBBM; the times you missed weren't safer--they just had a less efficient flow of information. People in New York City would be particularly disinclined to return to the allegedly safer and crime-free days of the 1970s.

On the topic at hand: I've never had a safeword, because whenever I get tickled by someone it's never prearranged. The good news is that such spontaneous attacks are rarely perpetrated by someone who's inclined to torture you until you completely lose your mind; the bad news is that when you're attacked by someone who IS in the mood to do that, you have no defense or recourse. Either way, I'm pretty much at their mercy.

man why couldn't my dog be from the 70s too.He could sing me to sleep.Man,I really missed out