When is the right time??

[EvlJester]

I am new to this, so I hope this works ok....I needed everyone's oppinion on something. When would be the right time in a relationship to propose marriage to the person you love?? Everyone's oppinion is welcome.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

IMO, there IS no "right time" that anyone else can tell you. All I can say is spend as much time together in normal life situations as possible. Too many couples only see one another to go out somewhere or have a sexual encounter and never really get to know one another. Do the normal everyday things together. Share as much as you can with one another and REALLY get to know one another...including your individual quirks. Only by learning these things about one another can you truly know if you love the other enough to make a move like marriage. If, for example, you really can't stand something that the other does, then you may want to discuss that openly before looking at taking things further. Be sure that you can LIVE with one another and be friends. Once that question is answered, it's up to you. Just follow your hearts.

Ann

 

[the_Baron]

in theory, if smurfie reads this, you may already have proposed. congrats!

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Well...
I met Mrs Knox during the last week of January 1998. On Valentine's Day, two weeks later, I gave her a dozen deep red roses, an indication of my feelings for her, which couldn't possibly be more serious. By this time, anyway, we had told each other how we felt. Nevertheless, for the first year and a half, we dated, although we saw each other every day, and I spent more time at her house than my own.

I moved in with her in the summer of 1999, after she had lost her job, and she needed help with the bills. Me and her and the cats in a 600 square foot condo consisting of one bedroom, one bathroom, a kitchen the size of my shoe, all together. Here, I thought, was the true test. Could we live together, in the same place, even though we'd been joined at the hip since that very first date back in January '98? It worked out well.

I proposed, out of the clear blue sky, on Mother's Day, 2000. We were at my parents' house for dinner, and when we left, I started singing a song, to myself, in which there was a sort of innocent marriage query...nothing really proferred, nothing serious. She then grabbed me, embraced me, screamed "yes", and kissed me. I said, "I hadn't really meant it in that way, but, WILL you marry me?" I will never forget the look of joy in her eyes when she voiced her assent. Something that will last a lifetime. We then went back in and told my parents, and they were overjoyed as well.

The point, Jester, is that we took the time to get to know each other as well as could humanly be accomplished. Two and a half years before the marriage proposal. We cemented our relationship, and created our world, long before I proposed. In fact, it was exactly a year until we got married.

There's no hurry...weddings are a lot of money, and if Smurf is like any other girl (I'm pretty sure she is), she had her own ideas on the wedding and what it's all about for quite some time. Defer to her on this! You'll be very happy you did. Take some time with the planning, and enjoy yourselves. In the meantime, grow your relationship. It's most important.

Good luck.

 

[EvlJester]

We have been living together for about a month now, and we get to see each other at our worsts and our bests, and get to realize all the little annoying quirks we have, but nothing has changed between us, it has only made us grow stronger. When I do propose I want it to bring a never ending smile to her face and possible tears to her eyes, but I dont know when the right time is, if I should wait for a while or go for it sooner. Thank you for the advice so far, and it is helping trust me, thank you again for the advice, and yes since most of you have figured out already it is Smurfie.