Where to meet people

[carwash666]

I'm 20 male trying to meet a girl my age to date. I want her to be into tickling like me, is the TMF the best place to meet someone like that? If you have met someone on the TMF how has the relationship turned out?

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Well I've met some people on here. I've played with some, but I am not in relationship yet. FetLife is another good way to meet kinksters. I've played with a few off of there that didn't have tickling listed as a fetish, but they were open minded.

 

[Phineas]

Is the TMF the best place to meet someone like that?

No.

 

[socktickler86]

It's probably a hell of a lot easier to find someoen you really like out in the real world and then get them into tickling than it is to actually find someone on here who you could really like purely due to the numbers.

 

[CD216]

Not sure how many times this needs to be said, but, "NO!!!!! the TMF is not a tickle-dating site!!!!!" Its a place to meet other people interested in your kink and PERHAPS you'll meet someone. Best case is you meet some chill friends you can connect with on a long term basis, as many people have here. If you're REALLY, legit, EXTRAORDINARLIY, lucky, you'll meet that "special someone," but the point of this site is to know you aren't alone and that the rest of us are pretty chill folk. Don't worry about meeting someone, just enjoy the TMF for what it is bud.

 

[LD_Tickler]

It's probably a hell of a lot easier to find someoen you really like out in the real world and then get them into tickling than it is to actually find someone on here who you could really like purely due to the numbers.

Correct. You won't find a girlfriend here.

 

[Libertine]

If you're 20 and male, internet interaction's not a good idea.

Internet personas on both sides tend to dissolve like Dracula encountering a sunbeam when you finally encounter your cyberobject of desire (and she encounters you), and all that time and trouble you took finding one another and getting up the courage to talk on the phone and then meet turns out to be a complete waste of time.

You've got to get out there and meet people IRL to find out about now to interact with Live Human Beings. The emotionally painful, embarassing and extremely stupid mistakes you are going to make, (God, the stories I could tell...) will eventually teach you all you need to know, and the sooner you get out and start making them, the sooner you'll figure out what you need to do to get yourself a series of partners/playmates.

Learn to start conversations with strangers you find appealing anywhere and everywhere.

Talk to ten, sleep with one is an admirable percentage/hit rate.

Unfortunately there's no better or faster way.

Good luck.

 

[socktickler86]

If you're 20 and male, internet interaction's not a good idea.

Internet personas on both sides tend to dissolve like Dracula encountering a sunbeam when you finally encounter your cyberobject of desire (and she encounters you), and all that time and trouble you took finding one another and getting up the courage to talk on the phone and then meet turns out to be a complete waste of time.

I gotta disagree a bit here. It's really not a total lose-lose situation. I met my first girlfriend online (not through these types of sites of course) and it's just a mater of not winding up talking to someone with obvious mental issues!

 

[P_Bustleton]

If you're 20 and male, internet interaction's not a good idea.

Internet personas on both sides tend to dissolve like Dracula encountering a sunbeam when you finally encounter your cyberobject of desire (and she encounters you), and all that time and trouble you took finding one another and getting up the courage to talk on the phone and then meet turns out to be a complete waste of time.

You've got to get out there and meet people IRL to find out about now to interact with Live Human Beings. The emotionally painful, embarassing and extremely stupid mistakes you are going to make, (God, the stories I could tell...) will eventually teach you all you need to know, and the sooner you get out and start making them, the sooner you'll figure out what you need to do to get yourself a series of partners/playmates.

Learn to start conversations with strangers you find appealing anywhere and everywhere.

Talk to ten, sleep with one is an admirable percentage/hit rate.

Unfortunately there's no better or faster way.

Good luck.

Well said, as usual. I have my own share of disappointments. But I am currently dating a girl I met here on the forum. We both realize that we can't fulfill all of each other's needs, though, so we're in an open relationship.

Tickling is a very polarizing thing: people either love it or hate it. I've dated girls with both attitudes. Done in the right way it can be highly erotic for anyone.

I heartily second Libertine's advice. Get out there. Real dating sites aren't bad if you use them in the right way. Get her number and ask her out quickly. Don't form "online friendships."

 

[Libertine]

...and it's just a matter of not winding up talking to someone with obvious mental issues!

Some mental issues aren't terribly obvious til you meet, and sometimes not for a while after that, which is why I advised him to learn about people first so he can identify potential problems.

But yes, internet meetings can work out; glad things worked out for you. But you must admit that your natural human intuition, if you listen to it, will tell you more about a person after five minutes together than any number of hours spent chatting with them online, or even on the phone.

 

[Tickleslave83]

I'm crippling shy and rarely have any contact with other people offline. At least online you know you share similar interests before meeting. I'd never approach a stranger in public and start talking to them about this kind of stuff.

 

[CD216]

*see Libertine's posts, cuz the man knows how it is*

 

[socktickler86]

Some mental issues aren't terribly obvious til you meet, and sometimes not for a while after that, which is why I advised him to learn about people first so he can identify potential problems.

That's true in the real world though! 😛

 

[Libertine]

I'm crippling shy and rarely have any contact with other people offline. At least online you know you share similar interests before meeting. I'd never approach a stranger in public and start talking to them about this kind of stuff.

You're filtering my advice through your own obsession.

Kindly note that nowhere do I recommend marching up to anyone and announcing how large your endowment is or what you'd like to DO to them as a subtle means of breaking the ice.

What's wrong with discussing literature if you're in a bookshop or the weather if you're waiting for a bus?

If anything develops you can always negotiate handing her your weasel/tying her up later.

 

[KittenToes]

Don't get me started...

If anything develops you can always negotiate handing her your weasel/tying her up later.

He managed both eventually- a lot later than he'd have liked, and a lot sooner than I thought we should. And no, we DIDN'T meet online.

But, you did ask. So...

I actually have quite a lot of experience meeting people off the Net, yet I never actually placed, or answered, a personals ad online.

Let me elucidate, because the above statement probably won't make a lot of sense to most.

When I was about 18, I started meeting people through local area AIM or AOL chatrooms. My rather antisocial ballet class and rehearsal hours meant that it was very difficult for me to meet anyone who wasn't in the arts, or obsessed with it, and frankly, I wanted to meet a variety of people- I was sick of dancers!

I never posted anything saying I was "looking for" or WLTM, etc- just the standard basic AOL chat profile. I always stuck with local chat, because I saw no point in endless chatter with someone I'd likely never meet. And I wound up meeting, IRL, between 90-150 people who I'd initially "met" online. This is not an exaggeration.

Only about 1/3 of these people actually looked like the photo they'd posted, or sent me. I have no doubt the photos were accurate- 20 years or 100 lbs ago.

100% of the people I met were shocked that my photo (or the description I'd give because 1/2 the time I didn't send one) WAS accurate.

The aforementioned 2/3rds whose photos were LACKING in veracity were invariably dismayed that I'd been truthful, as if I'd broken an unspoken rule of the Net by not prevaricating.

However I did get one of my previous longterm boyfriends from intially meeting online- but we met in person within a week of first speaking to each other on the web.

And I'm still friends with some of the people I met this way.

Basically you can meet friends and more online, but not if you keep it online-only for too long. Meet ASAP. If you aren't local to each other, phone ASAP. There are fetish folks I've met IRL, who I quite like, who I wouldn't have even thought of speaking to if I'd read their online profiles first. People often present a different side of themselves, or persona, to the Net, than they do in their everyday lives.

As for fetish sites- back when I was single, I did have a look at bondage.com and a British fetish site- but decided NOT to make a profile on them after a quick browse of profiles convinced me that the place was full of self-obsessed, delusional nutjobs. Again, some of those "nutjobs" are perfectly nice in real life. Some people just DON'T do themselves any favors.

I would not have met anyone for playdates via the Net anyhow, because for me, play comes after an actual relationship has begun and is well underway, but that's just my own personal choice- lots do meet for play this way. It's the same as any first meeting- talk on phone/meet socially as soon as you can, public place initially etc, etc.

I wouldn't say the TMF would be THE place to meet people who are into/receptive to your fetish, because as others have said, it's not a dating site and the M/F ratio isn't too evenly balaced. One good resource would be munches or other fetish-oriented social events in your area- that way you don't have to feel embarrassed about your kink, and you are in a safe public place.

The Net can be a useful starting point, but it's only one method out of many.

 

[texastickler]

If you're 20 and male, internet interaction's not a good idea.

Internet personas on both sides tend to dissolve like Dracula encountering a sunbeam when you finally encounter your cyberobject of desire (and she encounters you), and all that time and trouble you took finding one another and getting up the courage to talk on the phone and then meet turns out to be a complete waste of time.

^Agreed.^

The bottom line here is you have to get out and date. Social interaction tends to be a dying art. There is always a chance you can meet up with someone here and fall in love etc. The odds are very slim. I wish you all the best. I wish there was more that I could tell you but when it comes to findig someone, the choices are yours.

 

[Morpheus72]

KT said: Basically you can meet friends and more online, but not if you keep it online-only for too long. Meet ASAP.

This is the key for sure. The internet can be a good way to "meet" people, in the sense that you would meet them as strangers while shopping, working, barhopping, or whatever. Online has to turn into "real life" reasonably quickly though, since people are rarely what they seem online, and you need to know the real person or you're wasting your time.

I've met and and made some real-life friends online, and I've had plenty of fun with gamesites like Pogo as well. With respect to the two girls that I dated from online meetings, we made real-life plans within three weeks of our first online chat.