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Why English is Hard to learn

ticklemad

1st Level Red Feather
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May 11, 2001
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Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet nor bread-are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital; ship by truck and send cargo by ship; have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
 
Hiya :bunny:
Ticklemad, you're a genius with all these e.g.s of English. Truth be told, though English is my mother tongue, it's not for many of my relatives. And we've had these sorts of discussions many times usually with me trying to defend the indefensible :idunno:
So i can honestly say, you're in very fine company. :blaugh:
Many blessings and thanks for the fun!
Chickles_🙂
 
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

Hilarious !

Reminds me of the guy that wanted to buy some animals to help control the snakes on his farm. He decided on the mongoose and found a place to buy them.
He wanted four.

"Please send me four mongooses... er, mongi... er mongeese...
to hell with it, send me a mongoose, and while you're at it, send me three more".
 
That's what happens when you bring multiple languages together in no particular fashion, doesn't make much sense... almost all of these are homographs (a word I just looked up) but I didn't notice many that were homonyms.

Man, these have gotta play hell on text-to-speech proggies... oh well
 
"and why do they call it a tv set when you only have ONE?" (loved when the comedian Gallagher talked about the English language lol)

"I got in trouble at school for being smart" :illogical
 
I'm looking forward .........

....to the day when Americans learn to speak English as well!
 
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