Why most people hate to be tickled

[BigJim]

Well mate, I guess it's because a love of it is restricted to only a few of God's elite. That's us. 😉

 

[Fire_Sprite]

Keep in mind that there's a huge psychological aspect to this. People who hate to be tickled only do because they were taught to hate it.

Thats kind of dismissive to other people's opinions. You don't need to be taught to hate tickling any more than you need to be taught to hate meatloaf. It just innately varies from person to person. Being tickled is essentially a bad thing, anyway. You can't breathe, you convulse involuntarily, and your mind completely slides out of focus. There are people here who love being tickled more than anything else but even their immediate impulse when tickled is to get the hell away as fast as possible.

 

[BigJim]

In respect of Viper's and Sprite's posts, I think it's certainly true that a lot of people who hate it hate it because of an aquired attitude, rather than as a source of something they were born with. Someone who was abused with tickling is more likely to hate it I think.

I do know though that some people I've met on here were abused with tickling as a kid and then grew up to love being tickled as an adult. That part is inherant I guess; different people react in different ways to the same stimuli.


Jesus, I sound pompous. 🙁

 

[scorpionldr]

I know this is going to sound awkward, but I think they like it thrown in with something else...both of a couple of girl friends i've had lately seemed very friendly towards the idea of being tickled while making out....and me personally lol, i love it. at first it catches them off guard, because making out is supposed to be so i guess...timid, but boy, once you bring a hand over to a ticklish side and give a few friendly tickles while kissing, it really heats things up and makes things interesting (both of them in my experience felt it, looked in my eyes, and actually pressed harder like it was a challenge lol. ). anyways, just my two cents

 

[paracarl44]

If somebody is Tortured.

How do you expect them to enjoy tickling? A conversation that I was in several months ago when a girl finally joined in she said that she was tickled by her sisters and severely tickled by her brother. She went on to say that she has no desire being tickled and especially on her feet. The conversation changed to another subject.

 

[Ace Riley]

Most people don't like to be forced to do anything. An involuntary action caused by someone else is not exactly the most pleasurable of circumstances for people who enjoy the security of control.

Now you make that reaction laughter? It's almost unbearable.

Imagine your worst enemy at school, takes you down and instead of beating you up, kicking you or other more "respectable" forms of being beaten, you're tickled instead. To be beaten up in front of your girlfriend is one thing, but tickled and made to laugh like a schoolgirl by someone you hate? I would call that downright tragic.

Same thing can happen with a sibling. Some people have a high tolerance to pain and know they can handle a punch to the face. They know they can be victimized at the worst of it and show a teacher or their mother a black eye. "Look what he did to me!", but being tickled for an hour and then complaining about it? Some adults don't even consider it that dramatic. It definitely gets a weaker reaction than something physical, yet it was way more demeaning than a brawl.

Laughter is something you share with friends. When used against you, it's the ultimate breach of trust. Nobody wants that, and the fear of no longer being able to hold in your dignity and ability to fight back can cause paralyzing fear and hatred for tickling in people.

 

[huskys]

I gotta agree with you guys.

My adult daughter and I were talking on the phone not too long before she came to live here. We are both list makers and a while back, I made a list of everything that irritated me. To help her understand things that trigger her irritation, she made a list as well.
During the conversation, she read me her list.
Among other things, she expressed an intense dislike for being tickled.

Now I know for a fact the she was never tormented, punished, ganged up on, or tickled beyond endurance as a child. There were no older siblings in the house to pick on her and we lived so far into the mountains that there was minimal contact with neighborhood children outside of school.

My daughter is a control freak... she never lets her guard down for a moment. There even was a time when I was not allowed to hug her because she felt that showing affection was showing weakness.

Nope... she was NEVER tormented... tickling was NEVER a punishment...

but in her case... control is definitely a factor.

I agree 100%
Its all about personal preference.
I'm supprised there is really so much confusion. I mean is everyone in this forum a lee?
No! Of course not. I know some people who despite being avid lers/doms, are not the slightest bit interested in in becoming a lee/sub.
It is not their preference to be submissive and give up control, and they don't really like it.
It does not necessarily mean that they have had some really bad experience, everyone is just different, that is all.
Yes, people can change, and decide to try something new, of course they can. And good luck to those who find they enjoy something that they once disliked.
I have only recently developed some lee tendencies myself, after years of being a ler. And it has opened a whole new perspective for me.
So congrats to those like Drew who have helped people discover the joys of tickling with their care and patience.
There is always room for more ticklephiles!!!!! 😀

 

[zbtdude]

Let's not forget personality

More sensitive personalities may experience tickling more intensely and thus may find even moderate tickling unpleasant, while a less sensitive personality may find the same level of tickling enjoyable.

I was (and am) sensitive and never liked being tickled...too intense, felt too much like a violation. I didn't have bad experiences...my friends and family knew how I felt and left me alone.

However, as I've grown older I've found tickling less intense and somewhat more enjoyable. I wonder...if I'd had the chance to experience gentle tickling when I was younger, something I could handle...would I have learned to like it sooner.

 

[drew70]

Well, I guess it's like everything else in life. There's no one explanation but rather several.

 

[Lady Ler]

Well I only tickle people who like it. If they don't like it, I've no interest in tickling them. Although some who claimed to like it changed their tune after a session or two with me.

 

[huskys]

Well I only tickle people who like it. If they don't like it, I've no interest in tickling them. Although some who claimed to like it changed their tune after a session or two with me.

There should be more Lady Ler's around like you!!!

 

[Sgt Pepper]

I have something interesting to add to this: a girl turn from one side to then other and then back again...and in more ways than one...

An ex-girlfriend of mine was neutral to tickling when I first met her. As our relationship progressed, and I told her of my fetish, and we began to incorporate it into our sex activities, and soon, it seemed that getting tickled was turning her on. By the way, this girl was at least a 9.5 on the ticklish scale. It seemed to me that by giving her sensations of tickling and sexual pleasure at the same time, she would associate them and they would become synonymous...which is pretty much what the case was, very early in the relationship. I was overjoyed that I had finally found someone who could share in my desires.

However, I made two crucial mistakes, and the relationship (not as a direct result) began to disintegrate.

1) I tickled her way too often...I became tickle-greedy and only after she spoke up did I stop doing it so much. I have to say though, I loved this girl more than anything in the world, and I never meant any harm. I was oblivious to the fact that I was doing it too much, until she told me.

2) I was not good about seeing to her sexual needs. I only tickled her, for my own pleasure, and rarely engaged in any other foreplay. Once again, I was oblivious to this until much, much later; I never meant to be selfish. She never told me what she wanted (but I rarely asked), and I was clueless, so I never helped her out...

Eventually, she began to hate being tickled, but I think it was because she associated it with my desire for sex. In our relationship, however, sex was a sore issue, because she never wanted it, and I always did, and so we both felt guilty. It turned out that she was a lesbian, so we broke up and parted ways...

After having spent much time thinking over what went wrong, I came to the conclusion that her eventual dislike of tickling had absolutely nothing to do with the sensation itself. It was that she had come to hate sex, and everything related, so when I tickled her, she thought of it as me trying to initiate sex, and thus reacted negatively. Long story short...it's all psychological...

And here's another interesting bit...she is now in a relationship with a girl (who isn't into tickling) and doesn't seem to mind being tickled at all. I have observed this happen, and she has offered no protest.

I'm only 19, so I don't have much experience, but If I may give some advice to everybody else (based on my own personal life)- it is extremely important to be aware of these things: your lee's feelings about tickling, how much you tickle your lee, and most importantly: KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR WHAT ISN'T BEING SAID!!!! Communication is the most important factor in every relationship, and my ex and I didn't communicate enough about tickling (not to mention the fact that she liked vagina more than I did). So just keep a healthy open discussion about tickling, sex, and everything else.

Whoo......never told that story before....felt damn good though...

Now everybody can use me as a guide for what not to do 😀

 

[Deleted member 2452]

another possibility

sure there many people that truely do hate to be tickled, but there is another large segment i have recently beenmade aware of; those that THINK they are not suposed to like tickling.
recently i talked with a woman who hadn't been tickled since childhood, never as an adult, never had a prolonged or exsesive tickle session as a child. when initialy asked she said she hated tickling, etc. when asked why, and to explain she freely admited that she didn't know why. that she thought everyone else hated it, so it must be weird, etc.
she ended up saying she was going to try it. i even tickled her nicely, and she said it was exhilerating.
i believe there are many folks out there who just haven't met one of us, so they don't know the joy, and pleasure that can be found in tickling.
steve

 

[WorkInProgress]

Realize, of course, in some cases the answer is really nothing deeper than that it's just not their cup of tea. My other subculture is nudism, and I'm always hearing nudists talk about non-nudists in terms of why have such a hang-up about keeping their bodies covered up: it's actually a fairly simple matter that we don't all like the same things, hence the old adage that it takes all kinds to make a world.

 

[BigJim]

Well in my case, most people are glad I've got that hang-up.

 

[Loxxy Loxx]

A friend of mine recently confided to me the negative experience she had with being tickled some time ago. She never enjoyed being tickled, and being held down and tickled was not pleasant for her. The guy that tickled her refused to stop even after she screamed at him to stop. When he did finally let her up she was an emotional wreck. Unfortunately some people are more selfish when it comes to their tickle fetish, putting it above another's disinterest in it.

Just as a note, my friend came here a few months ago to understand more about what had happened and people's interest in tickling. Apparently someone she discussed her experience with ridiculed her to no end about it. I do honestly wish people were more caring about the feelings of others and a little less selfish.

I've said my peace.

 

[ThymeHBF]

I totally agree with SmarterthenU on his posts. I think it is about control and trust. I know that is why I am a tickler instead of a ticklee...

 

[TeMpEsT949]

I actually used to hate being tickled when I was little. I think one of the main reasons was that a lot of the people who tickled me didn't know how to tickle. It would hurt, and so I began to associate tickling with pain rather than an actual tickling sensation and laughter. Boy am I glad I grew out of that phase

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

A friend of mine recently confided to me the negative experience she had with being tickled some time ago. She never enjoyed being tickled, and being held down and tickled was not pleasant for her. The guy that tickled her refused to stop even after she screamed at him to stop. When he did finally let her up she was an emotional wreck. Unfortunately some people are more selfish when it comes to their tickle fetish, putting it above another's disinterest in it.

Just as a note, my friend came here a few months ago to understand more about what had happened and people's interest in tickling. Apparently someone she discussed her experience with ridiculed her to no end about it. I do honestly wish people were more caring about the feelings of others and a little less selfish.

I've said my peace.

The problem is of course is that we are a bunch of bone heads (except me of course) who think because we enjoy it everyone else will as well.

Many people hate being tickled because: it causes very painful muscle spasms, takes all their breath away, may make them feel nauseous, makes them embarrased, makes them feel they could potentially pee themselves, and hands over complete control of themselves to either someone they don't like or someone they don't want to give that much control to.

Now if I was the brother of the poster's friend here, I would put the person who did this to her in hospital.

 

[Loxxy Loxx]

Now if I was the brother of the poster's friend here, I would put the person who did this to her in hospital.

If I thought violence could correct what he did, I could almost agree with you.

The problem is of course is that we are a bunch of bone heads (except me of course) who think because we enjoy it everyone else will as well.

Many people hate being tickled because: it causes very painful muscle spasms, takes all their breath away, may make them feel nauseous, makes them embarrased, makes them feel they could potentially pee themselves, and hands over complete control of themselves to either someone they don't like or someone they don't want to give that much control to.

And I think that the "bone head" left deeper scars in the form of emotional trauma that will take years to mend, if they ever.