Why seek others when you're committed?

[drew70]

Originally posted by Knogz
I don't have this in mind when I started this thread. I was just wondering the answer to the question. In the end if it is agreed upon jointly no matter what the situation is than it's not cheating. I suppose I was asking in terms of for each of the people involved are you sure the other one is actually ok with it. Is it really a "sole" mate if they can't satisfy all your needs. Hmm its tough and I suppose I may've went in the wrong direction in terms of some of my posts afterwards. I like stephs posts alot and agree with her. I agree with Vamp, and Kis aswell. I feel like if you marry someone especially than between the two of you all the sexual desires can be met. That is if you took the time to really get to know one another than there should be no need for others. Just because this is my opinion doesnt mean anyone must agree. I figured we could debate this topic in order to create somewhat of a new type of conversation. I plan on showing others and myself that you can truly be happy with one person some how some way that is my wish. We are all friends here.

There is so much variety of opinion on this topic that there seems to be no right or wrong answer. My opinion is that for romantic and sexual love ought to remain between the husband and wife. I think most of the disagreement revolves around the idea of platonic love. I have a neighbor who is a single woman just a couple years younger than my wife and I. We both love this woman dearly, but not in any romantic or sexual way. Nonetheless I would not turn down the opportunity to be tickled by her should the occasion ever arise. I've seen many sad cases where a man or woman gets very upset when their spouse engages in any kind of social interaction with a member of the opposite sex. Even having lunch together, discussing a business proposal, whatever. To me this speaks of a deeply routed insecurity that will doom any chance of marital bliss. I would not want my wife to have sex or a romantic fling with another man, but I certainly wouldn't deny her friendships with other guys. Just my 2 cents. 🙂

 

[vampirecult]

The last Why seek others when you're committed? thread was locked by Mimi. so please let's not drag a 2nd Why seek others when you're committed? thread into the ground and make it get locked and closed down for a second time on here........!

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Amazing what a little common sense can come up with, eh? I totally agree. If the issue is one of trust, then the marriage is already in trouble and help should be sought. Purely platonic and playful interactions between people (including innocent tickles) is a perfectly natural part of any relationship. The only time I can understand a concern in a case like this is if one spouse is hiding it from the other. That's also a lack of trust issue. But, if it's out in the open and purely for fun....go for it!

In response to VC....Hey doll, if people act like grown ups instead of spewing garbage, there's no reason this topic can't be discussed. Don't sweat it...unless you're expecting to continue the latter, of course.

Ann

 

[vampirecult]

Amazing what a little common sense can come up with, eh? I totally agree. If the issue is one of trust, then the marriage is already in trouble and help should be sought. Purely platonic and playful interactions between people (including innocent tickles) is a perfectly natural part of any relationship. The only time I can understand a concern in a case like this is if one spouse is hiding it from the other. That's also a lack of trust issue. But, if it's out in the open and purely for fun....go for it!

In response to VC....Hey doll, if people act like grown ups instead of spewing garbage, there's no reason this topic can't be discussed. Don't sweat it...unless you're expecting to continue the latter, of course.

Ann

I wasn't spewing garbage in the last thread on this same topic. i stopped replying to it like after three times. so don't pin point anything on me or put words in my mouth. 😀

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

LOL I wan't pointing fingers at all....just pointing to the reason the other thread was likely to have been locked. A lot of people get hot and bothered about some topics. It happens on a regular basis. If we can ALL be civil to one another, it would be a nicer place. I'm sure you'd agree.

Ann

 

[vampirecult]

LOL I wan't pointing fingers at all....just pointing to the reason the other thread was likely to have been locked. A lot of people get hot and bothered about some topics. It happens on a regular basis. If we can ALL be civil to one another, it would be a nicer place. I'm sure you'd agree.

Ann

Yeah i would agree hole heartly with you. It's just that some people need a few good beat downs every now and then LOL 😛

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

It's just that some people need a few good beat downs every now and then LOL 😛

LOL That's a topic for another thread...one that likely WOULD have to be locked. My motto (which I'll admit I'm not always great at following) is to try to be civil to everyone no matter how much of a jerk they may be to me. If they do something wrong (here), there's always the report post option. That way, the mods can handle it and no wars get started.

Ann

 

[vampirecult]

LOL That's a topic for another thread...one that likely WOULD have to be locked. My motto (which I'll admit I'm not always great at following) is to try to be civil to everyone no matter how much of a jerk they may be to me. If they do something wrong (here), there's always the report post option. That way, the mods can handle it and no wars get started.

Ann

Exactly. That's what the report function and the Mods are here for.

so if i poked you awhole lot would you get mad and pissed? 😀

oh sorry i'm ranting here! 😛

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

so if i poked you awhole lot would you get mad and pissed? 😀

I'd either poke back or kick...depending on my mood.

Ann

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread. Sorry, Drew!

 

[vampirecult]

Yeah sorry Drew. Back to your thread at hand!

*exists stage left*

 

[kcantankerous]

I see the whole trust issue and what not, but I think that the fun would be had with the wife. I'd just depends on the individual

 

[drew70]

One benefit in going outside the marriage for tickles is that no too lers tickle the same way. They human body is very adaptive. I've built up natural defenses to my wife's tickling techniques, and not on purpose. Not to say she can't do the job anymore, but sometimes a big part of being ticklish is not knowing exactly what's coming. Getting tickled by a "strange" Ler often adds that extra dimension of uncertanty that sends a guy like me over the edge.

 

[Destro]

Some people equate sex to tickling. Some people think it is a very intimate exchange to only be done in private. Some people get sexually turned on by it. If your partner got turned on by tickling, would you want someone else to tickle him/her? It depends on how you perceive it. I'm willing to bet that most people here would say that sex is not something you would want to watch or hear about your partner engaging in with someone else. Yet there are many people that think that it is no big deal. Maybe some right here. So I don't think it would be fair to be critical of people that look on it as a private affair. It is just the way they feel.