would you feel safer in a group?

[maggie772]

Hi,

I joined TMF recently and met a guy here who was good, but that's done now, and I am thinking of meeting someone else. But of course there are way too many guys here who "offer their services," so to speak, and it's impossible to know who is the real thing.

So I'm thinking maybe girls would feel more comfortable if there was more than one lee visiting a guy they didn't know? maybe one girl is tickled while another one or two watches, for safety. Is that far fetched?

And p.s., this is really not an invitation for guys to pm and say the usual mumbo jumbo!

 

[IrishTickle]

Well, in fairness, you really should try to get to know the person for a while first. We may all want to jump straight in, but for safety's sake it's best to err on the side of caution. Talk in the chatroom or on messengers first and get a good feel for the person. Then maybe even meet up somewhere for a drink or a coffee and talk to them in person before going off alone. There are too many psychos out there for you to not play it safe.

 

[Coffee]

Maggie,

My advice would be to at with some of the other lee's who have played with some of the lers from here and ask their opinion on conduct during play and overall feeling or impression of the person and from there make your own decision. I know as a ler i tend to ask around and get some info on the person before i talk with them on the phone or meet them. Good Luck with your search.

Coffee

 

[Cavum]

Even if people have the same fetishes and such, we are all people. The best way is allways to get to know the person first. If the fetish is the only thing you have in comun with a person, then it's normaly goes bad. Take the time and get to know people like they where "normal people" (you know what I mean..hehe). 🙂

 

[maryallison]

I fantasized about being in a group of three or four girls at a local Hold em poker tournament, and being at the final table, and we all lose to the last guy and have to go back to his house for a gang tickle session. I pm'ed a few girls here in summer but got no response.

 

[Cavum]

I fantasized about being in a group of three or four girls at a local Hold em poker tournament, and being at the final table, and we all lose to the last guy and have to go back to his house for a gang tickle session. I pm'ed a few girls here in summer but got no response.

I think that is pretty normal. When it come to everything within sex and such there is MANY people who only PM girls and act desperat. Unfortantly that ruins for many serious people. But remeber: Even there are girls on this forum with a tickle fetish, they are also humans.

My tips is to try being active on forums and such, cause then you can "get to know" people with chit-chat. Then it's easier to contact people, and they will also then reconize you from the forum.

 

[Mastertank1]

My best advice.

Hi,

I joined TMF recently and met a guy here who was good, but that's done now, and I am thinking of meeting someone else. But of course there are way too many guys here who "offer their services," so to speak, and it's impossible to know who is the real thing.

So I'm thinking maybe girls would feel more comfortable if there was more than one lee visiting a guy they didn't know? maybe one girl is tickled while another one or two watches, for safety. Is that far fetched?

And p.s., this is really not an invitation for guys to pm and say the usual mumbo jumbo!

The first time you meet any new guy from the internet, TMF or any other point of contact, make it for a limited time, in a public place, for getting acquainted purposes only. Make it for coffee or at most lunch, so that an inherent time limit is built in, and arrange it so that there will be no privacy to get into anything intimate. Maybe that sounds overcautious to you, but trust me, you're better off that way.
If a guy is too impatient to devote a first meeting to just getting to know you then he's probabaly not someone you want to get involved with anyway.

My usual progression has always been from a first lunch meeting to a dinner date to a full evening out, always IF and ONLY IF things are going well. At that point, if it feels appropriate, suggest going somewhere private for some tickling activity.

Questions like limits, safewords, will there be sex or not, should all be settled before you go anywhere private and while you are both sober.
A rule I always adhere to; a decision to limit activities can not be changed to unlimit them after any drinks or drugs have been consumed, nor after the tickling has started, but she can change her mind the other way.
To be perfectly clear; if she said yes to sex while sober and before the tickling began, she can change that yes to a no at any time, but if she initally said no, she can NOT change that to a yes while high or in the heat of the tickling.

Yeah, that's my old fashioned ethics talking, but I really think it's the safest way for a woman to go, and that a guy who's for real will not object to it.

Your surly curmudgeon of the month club selection for December;
Mitch
aka

 

[Iggy pop]

Hi,

I joined TMF recently and met a guy here who was good, but that's done now, and I am thinking of meeting someone else. But of course there are way too many guys here who "offer their services," so to speak, and it's impossible to know who is the real thing.

So I'm thinking maybe girls would feel more comfortable if there was more than one lee visiting a guy they didn't know? maybe one girl is tickled while another one or two watches, for safety. Is that far fetched?

I think it all depends on what you want. Are you looking for a permanent "tickling partner", are you just looking "to have some fun" with a guy that is safe? Honestly I think if you care about safety, you should go to one of the gathering and meet some of the people.

And p.s., this is really not an invitation for guys to pm and say the usual mumbo jumbo!

Why do I think that is not going to deter the pms?

 

[Capnmad]

Good guidelines, Mitch. I try to use them, as applicable, myself.

Really, if you're that concerned that you feel the need to bring a group of women with you capable of overtaking the man (not that I'd complain, mind you 😉 ) -- from the perspective of safety and pragmatism, it just seems... implausible, unnecessary, unusual... pick one.

You should feel safe, period. Whether one-on-one or not. Take your time getting to know them. Listen to your instincts (don't question them), and move in the direction of your doubt (if you have any). That will lead you to safety more often than not, and your safety is of paramount importance here. If nothing comes of it because your instincts told you "no", at the end of the day, you're still safe, and you can try again.

You had a good experience, and I'm happy for you, but you know better than to assume everyone is so... appropriate (which is why you're asking, and which is why these precautions are advised above others).

Good luck!

 

[aurora5150]

here's my thoughts. it's scary meeting people on the internet especially to share something as intimate as tickling, because it requires a certain amount of trust from both parties. i agree with a lot of the posts here. just engage a person you would like to tickle and get to know them. chat with them, im each other. and then when you both feel comfortable arrang a face to face. and if that goes well maybe you could discuss having a tickle session. i know it seems like a long process but believe me it's worth it in the end. because if you don't trust your ler the session is gonna suck. just my thoughts though take them with a grain of salt. good luck.

 

[the wiz]

Maybe you might want to get some references, most mods been to a lot of the gatherings, so you might want to check with them, or if the ler been to a couple of gatherings where people know him in person. Not 100% but at least people have an ideal of the ler but no matter what, if no one knows this person in the community, specially someone with at last 500 or more post, i would be hesitant about him/her.