You are an extreme redneck when:

[Illtcklu]

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending
on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys,
watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right
off its wheels.
12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than
your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie
at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife
drunk.

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Very amusing list, especially numbers 5 and 6. 😀

 

[kilitiinko1]

Awesome!

Still chuckling... Those are hilarious! Thanks for posting these,Illtcklu! 😀

 

[bellystrokes]

18. When square dancing passes for finishing school

 

[venray]

19. You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

20. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

21. You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

 

[venray]

10. When your family attends the races, they are excited by the Port-A-Potties because they are such high tech, clean facilities.

9. Some people collect die casts and hats, you collect the fingernail clippings of drivers.

8. You have enough non-functional cars in your yard to paint up to duplicate the full field at the race each week, including the cars that got sent home.

7. You don't understand why they interrupt TV programs for a message from the President, it's not someone from the France family or Mike Helton speaking.

6. You have more animal heads on your wall than the old RCR museum. Each of those animals is named after a legendary driver from the past.

5. You’re favorite racing souvenirs include your cast off Jimmy Spencer and Sterling Marlin toupees. They are proudly showcased on your coffee table.

4. Whenever you move, you paint your trailer to match your favorite driver’s car so everyone knows “who’s da man” as you go down the highway.

3. You starred in the NASCAR fan's dream episode of Monster House.

2. Your race weekend attire includes a cheetah print tube top, a zebra print tube top, a leopard print tube top, and a tiger print tube top. Naturally, all are adorned with your favorite driver’s number.

1. Even the fans in the infield of Talladega look at you in fear.

 

[venray]

22. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

 

[isabeau]

uh is nothing sacred???? first blonde jokes, now this????? i do not find this at all amusing..not in the least..

p.s.....brb gotta visit the little girl's room, out in back...now where is that sears catalog???

 

[Illtcklu]

23: When you have to climb the water tower with a can of paint to defend your sisters honor!!!!

 

[Mastertank1]

Extreme redneck?

24 When the 'other guy' your son lost his high school sweetheart to is you!

25 When you refuse to marry a virgin because 'if'n her own kinfolk won't touch 'er why would I want to?'

26 When your car has a sticker that says 'vehicle powered by Mopar' and your shirt says 'driver powered by Budwieser'.

27 When you buy an ankle bracelet for your favorite ewe. (eeeewww!)

28 If you think the movie 'Talladega Nights' was a documentary.

29 If you think 'tourist season' is when you're allowed to shoot them.

 

[lespieds]

Letting the 14 year old smoke before her own kids...
Saving nails clippings of famous drivers...

Those are by far the worst ones.
Isabeau, can I at least have the ligerie secton of that catalog?

 

[sole seeker]

uh is nothing sacred???? first blonde jokes, now this????? i do not find this at all amusing..not in the least..

p.s.....brb gotta visit the little girl's room, out in back...now where is that sears catalog???

LMAO!

Some good stuff in this thread, Izz, but your response is right up there with the best.