You know you're a redneck when... The 'ARKANSAS CUT'

[sole seeker]

You know you're a redneck when... The 'ARKANSAS CUT'


 You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
 You burn your yard rather than mow it.
 You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
 You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
 You come back from the dump with more than you took.
 The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
 You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
 You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
 Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
 Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
 You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
 You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
 You have a rag for a gas cap.
 Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
 You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

 

[bellystrokes]

You know you're redneck when you feel the need to add your all-time fave:

When someone says "Hey, hoedown" and your woman hits the floor."

Thanks for all of the new ones. I love them.

 

[isabeau]

wellllllllllllll at least you didn't mention west virginia..

 

[Helena]

Thank you, that was funny.

 

[Dário F]

Hilarious! Thanks!

 

[tickleterror]

LMAO, thank you for posting these they were very funny.

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny, SS. 😀

 

[Mastertank1]

Here's a few more;

If 3 generations of your family have ever entered the same wet T-shirt contest.

If your high school sweetheart left you for a classmate; who was your father.

If you walk your child to school every day, because you're both in the same class.

If you have to move more than 3 animals to make the bed.

If the suspension device in your dungeon started life as an engine hoist.

If you use the same lubricant for auto repair and sex.

If you're still searching for the valentine's day card section for sheep.

If you wrote in your Doberman's name for county sherriff.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[EvlJester]

Redneck jokes are funny as hell. Smurfie got me a calender for this year with 12 Redneck jokes.

 

[bellystrokes]

If you walk your child to school every day, because you're both in the same class.


hehehehhehheehehehheeeeee

 

[goddess_nemesis]

You Might Be A Redneck If...

* You missed sixth grade graduation because you had jury duty
* Your junior/senior prom had a daycare
* You list the community service you did while in jail as a job reference
* You remember the entire NASCAR schedule but can't remember your wife's birthday
* You carry money in your bra
* You've ever run more than a mile in ankle restraints
* You don't know a single joke clean enough to tell your preacher
* You go to a family reunion looking for a wife

 

[Redmage]

If you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car...

If your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs...

If your family tree doesn't branch...

If you don't like virgins because, "Well, hell, if her daddy didn't want her..."

...you might be a redneck.